REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP
Season Four, Episode Twenty… “Strip Down Memory Lane”
by Sandi Duffy
FINALLY! The last episode of Real Housewives of NJ. It’s been a bad TV weekend. First, ION TV took Psych off. I love that show. THEN, I think Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew is back on, but when I tuned in, it’s just regular people, not D list celebrities. I can’t make fun of real people with addiction problems; that’s just mean. It’s only fun when it’s people like Janice Dickenson or Amy Fisher. Finally, once again, I had to DVR Masterpiece Mystery (because sometimes, even I need a little quality TV viewing) for RHONJ, which should have been over about 10 episodes ago.
In other words, this had better be all that Bravo has promised us, the viewers. I am not, however, upset about missing the Emmy’s for this. I could care less about a bunch of self-important idiots congratulating themselves for reading words people much more talented than them wrote and reading them in a way people much more talented than them direct them to.
Now, buckle up people because it’s going to be a bumpy ride.
Kathy should really be careful about picking her nose when there are cameras following her.
After the “models” do their walk, Kim gets on the mike and is as wasted as all hell. She’s so gross. Teresa and Melissa go to the bathroom together. Teresa asks Melissa who Angelo is and Melissa pretends not to remember how she knows him. I like Teresa’s blinged out bracelet. Teresa tells Melissa that he told her that she used to work for him at a gentlemen’s club where Melissa used to dance. Teresa says she doesn’t believe him. Melissa swears she just bartended there for a week because her cousin ran the place. Melissa apparently was a school teacher teaching second grade. Is this true? I knew she supposedly went to school to be a teacher, but I assumed she never even finished college. Those poor second graders. About how far into the school year do you think it was that her students realized they knew more than her?
Angelo then is overheard telling someone that Kim and Teresa told him to set up Melissa. Teresa can’t pronounce coincidence when she TTCs. I just enjoy pointing out Teresa’s lack of command for the English language. Melissa calls her husband to “take care of the situation.” Joe is like 4’2”, what can he do? He’s probably the unscariest person ever. Jacqueline claims to be getting texts from a mutual friend of her and Teresa’s who tells her someone is being set up, but it’s not her, so stay at the party. I think Stoopid Housewives has ascertained that this was a show producer who has since been fired for not being impartial and being too involved with certain members of the cast.
If Melissa doesn’t want people to think she used to be a dancer, then she shouldn’t dress like one. Although I do find it hard to believe because we’ve all seen Melissa “dance” and she sucks at it.
Jacqueline is still getting texts that Teresa met some guy at a salon she doesn’t go to who plans to embarrass Melissa. We all know that Teresa didn’t want to have anything to do with this.
Teresa doesn’t want her brother to get into a fight and get in trouble, so she goes to confront Angelo, but he already left. I’m still not seeing a set up by Teresa here. I see a set up by Kim D (and Bravo), but not Teresa. I don’t care what some bitch is texting Jacqueline. Teresa is just happy that Angelo left because she thinks it’s over. Not likely, Teresa.
Lauren has too much to say about everything and why the hell is she even there? She’s not a housewife.
Kim D. comes to the table and “apologizes”. Right, Kim D. You set up Melissa, which is fine by me, but everyone is blaming Teresa for it. Why doesn’t Melissa just leave? I would.
Melissa’s argument is stupid. Teresa shouldn’t have told her. Teresa should have let a stranger ambush her. Teresa’s brother-in-law comes to the table and gets her away. Caroline decides to put in her two cents and show Melissa the texts. Nothing like stirring the pot, Caroline.
Everyone goes outside for “air” or to await the arrival of Joe Gorga. Richie and Joe both show up, like they are a couple of bad boys. Who is watching Joe and Melissa’s kids if they are both at the fashion show? Just wondering. Jacqueline is walking around with a stupid look on her face the entire time and telling anyone who will listen that her “friend” told her Teresa arranged the set up. Jacqueline is an idiot. Richie and Joe both need to shave.
This episode should be called, “If We Keep Saying Teresa Set It Up Over and Over Again, It Must be True.” I also can’t figure out why Joe Gorga is now after Pete Guidice. What the hell did he do? Someone, is it the salon owner, is texting Angelo, the strip club dude, to come back. Yeah dude, come back to get your ass kicked. I would rush right back.
And then Kim D. shows up, acting like she doesn’t know what’s going on. Kim D. will do anything for camera time. Joe Gorga tells her to go sniff another line, and I find that funny. Kim D. really does look like an old coke whore.
I know this has nothing to do with this episode, but I can’t help but wonder if Chris Manzo is still BFFs with Kim G’s son.
While all the women are outside ruining the night, Teresa is still inside having fun. Good for Teresa. Caroline, Jacqueline and Lauren are stirring the pot big time.
Jacqueline tells everyone that Teresa was standing next to Angelo when he said he was going to set up Melissa. We all saw that isn’t what happened. I guess if I tell Jacqueline that Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny are real, she’d believe that too.
Teresa finds out that Jacqueline is telling people Teresa set up Melissa and confronts her. I am really sick of hearing about Jacqueline’s “friend”. Everyone else’s name has been dragged through the mud, but Jacqueline is protecting this “friend.”
Again, off topic, but if Lauren’s make-up job is anything like what she does at Cafface,the stupidest name for a salon ever, I would never set foot in that place. My six-year-old daughter does a better job of putting make-up on. Of course that’s not surprising because my six-year-old daughter is much more pleasant and more mature than Lauren.
Teresa outs Jacqueline as a former stripper. YES! In your face, Jacqueline!
Some other girl at the Posche fashion show confirms that Melissa has was indeed a stripper.
At the end, we find out that Albie and Lindsey are no longer together and I am shocked, I tell you, shocked.