September 13, 2012 10:50 am
Details re the
shows which will fill in when Housewives have officially jumped the shark new scripted offerings from Bravo:
“Heathers”: Present day update of the cult classic 1980′s film that picks up 20 years later with Veronica (played by Winona Ryder in the film) moving back to Sherwood with her teenage daughter, who enters high school to deal with the next generation of mean girls, the “Ashley’s,” daughters of the surviving “Heathers.”
“The Apartment” (working title): After the death of their mother, two 20-something siblings unexpectedly inherit the love nest where their mother had an 18 year affair. After the initial shock that their mother was not who they thought she was, they begin to rent out the beautiful Upper West Side apartment to people who want a private space to have their own extra-marital affairs.
“The Darlings” (working title): Based on the acclaimed novel by Cristina Alger, the show is set on Manhattan’s Upper East Side, where a high-society family is pulled into a financial scandal after a business partner’s Ponzi scheme unravels, which drives him to suicide and exposes all of the family’s and company’s secrets.
“All American Girl”: Drama spans three time periods and centers around three women who all work at the female lifestyle magazine All American Girl. Show tracks the changing points of view of women in the workplace, feminism and asks the question “can women have it all?”
“Rita”: An adaptation of the Danish format of the same name, this family drama follows an acerbic, outspoken private school teacher who struggles to raise her own three teenage children while dealing with the inane bureaucracy and overprotective parents at her school.
More from TheFutonCritic.
In keeping with the “jump the shark” ‘tude…
If “The Real Housewives” were really housewives, [they] would have ruined a lot more marriages by now.
These vapid whores (Bravo’s executives) just keep cranking out the various iterations of this show, over and over, waiting — I can only presume — for someone to either set someone else on fire or drown them in the bathtub.
The show’s engine seems to run almost exclusively on conflict (albeit staged conflict); should just be a matter of time before an actual homicide occurs.
If they were smart, they’d — no, no. I’m not going to bother finishing that thought.
NOTE: Let’s finish VRBryant’s thought! ”If they were smart, they’d: give all the Housewives weapons; put them in an isolated location, surrounded by 50,000 volt fencing; and let them fight to the death.
Whichever Housewife is left…
- gets her own spinoff show,
- a pre-mixed cocktail drink with her photo on the label;
- six books ready for publication (
her ghostwriter was working feverishlyshe was writing while fending off the other Housewives);
- three severely auto-tuned-to-death pop singles;
- several jobs in the media (radio, TV, newsletters)… all which involve giving advice
NOTE: A summer cold/flu is nasty. ”Thank You Jesus; sign of the cross; kisses to the sky” that a voice is not required to write!!