REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY Recap
Season Four Episode Seventeen… “Hot Tub of Sour Grapes”
by Sandi Duffy
I’ve had one of the worst days ever today which included, in no particular order, a car accident, a broken nose (totally unrelated to the car accident), and an infestation of black flies in my home. This doesn’t bode well for tonight’s recap of Real Housewives of New Jersey. Even in the best of circumstances I want to punch any one of these people in the face.
This week picks up with “toastgate”. Blah, blah, blah, Teresa didn’t mention Kathy in her toast, so to make things better, Joe Gorga takes his clothes off and gets in the hot tub. I can honestly say that seeing Joe Gorga naked in a hot tub would never make me feel better. Melissa and Teresa put on dueling stripper bikinis and get in the tub, too. Kathy brings up the toast in the hot tub. Give me a break. Let it go! No one cares about toastgate!
Caroline, Lauren and Caroline’s boyfriend, PrinceAlbie, gossip about Teresa on the couch as they watch Teresa and Kathy discuss toastgate in the hot tub. I was officially bored with toastgate last week, so this is the last I’m going to mention it.
Oh no, girlfriend did NOT go there. Caroline overhears Teresa telling Kathy that Caroline and her sister, Dina, have issues. Oh, Caroline is pissed now! Newsflash, everyone knows you don’t speak to your sister, Dina.
The men are just as gossipy as the women, watching the two of them in the hot tub. I don’t know why Kathy is taking up for Caroline. WTH, Kathy? How the hell did such a nice dinner and a nice toast go so wrong? Oh, wait, I know why…because Caroline and Kathy are shit stirrers, and Lauren is going along for the ride.
For the first time ever, I find myself agreeing with Melissa when she TTCs that Caroline should drop it. Unfortunately, Melissa is too much of a coward to say it to Caroline’s face.
As Caroline and Teresa begin to talk, I can actually see Chris Laurita’s stomach drop. Now we are over toastgate and onto magazinegate. Everyone has a big problem with Teresa’s magazine articles. I can’t even keep them all straight and have never actually read a single one of them. From what I can ascertain, however, Teresa has not harmed anyone, except maybe herself and her own immediate family, with those articles.
Caroline is now back to cookbookgate. Shit, this woman is grasping at straws to have a feud with Teresa. I don’t think she said anything awful in her.
Jacqueline passive-aggressively pretends to be asleep. Like anyone could sleep through that, although Jacqueline does like to hit the bottle hard, so maybe she’s just actually passed out cold.
Next Caroline tries to take credit for Teresa making up with her brother and his wife. Obviously that isn’t true because if she did make that happen she wouldn’t now be sabotaging it. Caroline is feuding with half her family and doesn’t want anyone else to have a complete family. I’m glad Caroline isn’t my friend. I have a great relationship with my brothers and my sister-in-law. If she were my friend, she’d do her damndest to ruin that.
Caroline calls Teresa a disgrace. Did Teresa sell drugs to middle schoolers or commit child rape and I missed it? Exactly how is Teresa a disgrace?
Chris Laurita confronts Joe Guidice for telling someone that Chris is shady. Um…we’ve all read the bankruptcy filing…if the shoe fits, Chris. The men actually kiss and make up. The women are giving us women a bad name. I feel the need to go on record saying that I have never had a fight like this with a friend, ever. Caroline and Teresa agree that they each suck. That’s the first thing either have them have said that I agree with.
Oh, man, Joe Guidice is going after Caroline. You go, Joe Guidice. Why am I siding with Joe Guidice so much this season? Albie jumps in and we all know Albie is just a big Momma’s Boy and ain’t going to do a thing. Now Al Manzo jumps in. They are back to bookgate. Lauren brings up the “Caroline is 1/16 Italian thing” and the whole stripper car wash thing. STFU, Lauren. And I agree with Teresa about Chris’s idea for a stripper car wash. It is stupid. I can’t believe we are back to bookgate and magazinegate. At least we are over toastgate. Seriously, if it weren’t for bookgate, the Manzos would have no storyline.
Caroline then TTCs that Teresa is a sociopath. I am going to ask the question again. Did I miss it when Teresa was selling drugs to kids or committing child rape? No, then how the hell is she a sociopath? Calling someone 1/16 Italian does not make one a sociopath. Joe, very smartly, books a flight out of Napa for the that evening, so they can both get the hell away from these people. It’s a sad day in Housewife World when Joe Guidice is the voice of reason. And I damn well hope that Caroline is happy for ruining her own birthday.
Caroline lists all the things she had heard in the past from Teresa about Melissa—gold digger, whore, home wrecker, stripper. I have yet to see any of these accusations disproven. I’m just sayin’.
I have to give Joe Gorga some credit. He and his wife are going to leave with Teresa and Joe. If that’s not a show of solidarity, I don’t know what is
Kathy is STILL looking for more by going into Teresa’s room and continuing the “conversation.”
Caroline has her panties in bunch because Jacqueline just laid there and pretended to be asleep. Caroline goes into a room by herself and pretends to cry.
This episode is so long, drawn out, boring and ridiculous.
Next week, Dina is back, and it doesn’t look like she has anything nice to say about her own sister.
If Mama Laurita sides with daughter Dina, something REALLY BAD HAPPENED. That’s when families split up. One member (or more) does something so horrible, that the other family members cannot tolerate it.
We don’t know what happened. But we can guess it was serious.
Your exactly right, something really bad did happen and it was enough that she doesn’t look at Chucky as her sister anymore (Teresa said she backstabbed Dina).
I’m suprised more people aren’t commenting about BubbaJax “sleeping” through the whole fiasco. What a pathetic display of cowardice! She wasn’t sleeping or passed out (I’ve been around enough passed out drunks to know the difference). She was just too chicken $hit to either engage in the conversation OR say “I’m staying out of this.” and go to bed. I’m starting to hate her more than DonCaro.
I think she should have just left the room. It would have looked less crazy, but I guess she was scared that Caroline’s laser eyes would have zapped her.
hahahaha… love it, “Caroline’s laser eyes zapping her!”
Must admit, everytime the camera would pan to BubbaJax “sleeping,” I’d burst into laughter… there is no way in hell Bubba was sleeping through that, I don’t care how many glases of wine she had. Look closely, her eyes kind of twitch every now and again, so funny… you know she was thanking her lucky stars that everyone, (CHUCKIE) thought she was sleeping, passed out, dropped dead or whatever! Reminded me of something my little brother used to do when he was about 2 or 3 years old. Whenever a certain aunt of ours would come and visit with us, he would close his eyes and pretend he was sleeping, even when he was standing… in his playpen, crib or wherever it happened to be. He would make it clear that he didn’t want her bothering with him. He’d just close his eyes and remain as still as possible until she went away… LoL. Still makes me laugh… you go Bubbajax, keep on keepin’ on, no one suspects a thing, not even Chuckie!! LoL.
The Chuckster is a stupid shit for not realizing it….dumbo
Did you all see joe gorgas face when Chris told juicy about the “shady” comment? I bet he’s the “joe” that said he was shady. Also how is it that we know all about tre’s legal woes that they all talked about but nothing about their bullsh*t? … Yikes I hate these people. I do hope that Tre comes out on top. FTMAL* f the manzos and lauritas
Yep – it’s totaly b.s. that nobody is acknowledging the Laurita’s HUGE financial issues at all on the show. Come on Jax, you expect Tree to tell you every detail of her personal problems, let’s see YOU spill it about your own. Fake biotch.
Agreed Joey looks very very guilty and scared shitzless.
It probably was Joe Gorga who talked about Chris being shady in business.
What a grudge fest this episode. Caroline’s become so bitter towards Teresa. I think it’s equal parts jealousy, the falling out with Dina she blames on Teresa, and the “monster menopause” she seems to be going through. Her sour attitude is tainting everyone else. It’s exhausting and boring to watch. Bravo and Andy are crazy if they continue this mess into next season.
Cowoline looked like Caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland slothing on that couch.
Tis all!
All she was missing was Katty’s hookah.
Don’t even know where to begin after watching Chucky’s display, I mean seeing Chucky “on display, on display” in this episode. Holy effin’ cow, ayfkm Chucky? I am disgusted and even a little
embarrassed for her, speaking as a woman. She is a miserable, calculating, delusional, nasty hypocrit of a woman. Gee, I wonder why half of her siblings want nothing to do with her. HALF OF THEM!! Thats like 9 or 10 siblings… however many of them there are. That is HUGE! That to me speaks VOLUMES! Her ugliness lives from the inside out, she can’t even hide it any longer, she is despicable. My favorite part of this whole episode was when she slipped into “Don CaroChucky” and called off her SWB (son with benefits) who was threatening to “get in Juicy’s face” or however the little prince put it, if Juicy were to mouth off to Don CaroChucky. Best laugh I’ve had in a LONG while. This woman oozes misery and hate and wants everyone else to feel as if they are less than. Take a good look in the mirror Chucky because you take the cake, its impossible to get any lower than or more disgraceful than you… you win!!
Caroline is so nasty….good for Teresa to stand up to her….for a 50 year old she acts like a 2 yr. old…grow up Caroline…what do you want from Teresa, blood? She has apologized many times over….I hope she tells her to go where the sun doesn’t shine…keep your head up Teresa!!!
I loved the part when Lil Critterfur threatened to kick Juicy’s a*s! Seriously, that was a scream. Critterfur, you sure are a comedian! Mama was right. You’re the funny one in the family.