August 25, 2012 7:14 am
NOTE: LapbandLauren makes a reference to her mother toward the end of this video… calls her “Don.” Wonder where THAT came from???
Couldn’t possibly be that da Manzoids read SH… EVERY letter of EVERY word of EVERY sentence of EVERY paragraph of SH… could they???!!!
 | madepiley on JURY FOREMAN SPEAKS… For… |
| madepiley on JURY FOREMAN SPEAKS… For… |
 | Dawn on JURY FOREMAN SPEAKS… For… |
 | housewife hoe on JURY FOREMAN SPEAKS… For… |
| Dawn on JURY FOREMAN SPEAKS… For… |
| madepiley on JURY FOREMAN SPEAKS… For… |
 | canin1960 on JURY FOREMAN SPEAKS… For… |
 | originalcyn1 on JURY FOREMAN SPEAKS… For… |
 | SDHS86 on JURY FOREMAN SPEAKS… For… |
 | mags on TAMRA BARNEY, EDDIE JUDGE: Tam… |
| canin1960 on JURY FOREMAN SPEAKS… For… |
| madepiley on JURY FOREMAN SPEAKS… For… |
| canin1960 on JURY FOREMAN SPEAKS… For… |
 | Ann from Pompano on REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ORANGE COUN… |
 | ChemGeek on JURY FOREMAN SPEAKS… For… |
STOOPID HOUSEWIVES
Good.
Lauren – go to the gym or for a power walk for one hour, each and every day. Keep only healthy food around and stop dieting. Plus, stop bitching about being fat while constantly chomping on something.
Chris and Albie – get real jobs, no one wants to drink water that is black. Oh, also, go whiten your teeth and fix your creepy dumbo ears. A college education, with a degree earned, actually makes a person grow up. Look into it.
Al – get some normal guy friends. Go hang out with them.
Caroline – get a personality transplant, the one you have now, sucks. No one wants advice from you. WE GET IT, FAMILY IS IMPORTANT TO YOU, but seriously, go get a life. You’re screwing up your adult kids’ lives by mollycoddling them and then passive-aggressively putting them down and building them back up with compliments. Your kids aren’t that great and are pretty much stuck mentally at 18-19 years of age. They should have all gone to college, away from you. KNOW THIS.
well said Delia!!! lol
So true. 99.9999999 percent of kids in Franklin Lakes go away to college except Caroline’s ???
(not that you always have to go to college, working is good too, something these kids also have an aversion to)
You have to possess some intelligence and decent grades to go to college. The Manzoids are DUMB. Lauren did not even know what Half Moon Bay – 12 meant on the road sign.
I wonder where the money came from. In earlier episodes of RHONJ, the Manzoids and Ashlee mentioned how poor they were. Ashlee mentioned that when she moved to NJ (when pregger Jax married BK Chris), they all lived at DonCaro’s small house (you know, the white split level). Albie mentioned that they did not have much money when he was young.
If DonCaro was such a fine mother, she certainly did not stress education.
I agree, not the sharpest tools in the shed. Also lazy, bad bad combo. Ashlee too.
A reflection of poor poor parenting skills. Who in this day and age doesn’t believe a college education is necessary. Every article written states that you need to go to college and get definite skills in order to make a decent living in this new global economy. Lauren opened that store with no business management skills whatsoever, she states on national t.v. that she hates to read. Christopher and his Mom feels that he is so hilarious he is going to be a standup comedian, no need for an education. And last but not least, Mommy outed Albie as having a learning disability, and she had to do his homework all through his educational career. I guess if you want your kids to end up as lazy losers, you should purchase Chuckie’s book.
I think she thought they were all going to be stars. Uh huh. Oh well I guess they can always take over the Brownstone when this all ends. At least Al Manzo is smart enough to keep that running.
Most kids who take over their families restaurants go to school for restaurant hospitality. Cornell University has one of the finest in the country. Even a two year degree from a community college would be helpful.
The Cornell program is amazing. My stepdaughter attends but not the hospitality program and we attended a dinner there last semester. So very professional and really bright students. The Manzo Morons couldn’t cut it.
I wanted my daughter to do this. We have a culinary school in our area. I think it would be sooo neat. I told her she could then go work on a cruise ship and travel the world. I couldn’t sell her on it though. She is gonna have to do sumpin she is happy with. She will be starting her 2nd semester of college next weekand has changed her mind about what she wanted to do about 4 times so far. Now she is on the criminal justice kick. Ahhhhh to be young again have have the whole world at my feet and all those endless possibilities…
Made: Wishing you and your family health and happiness always! I have refrained from commenting about Lauren because when I was her age I had no direction. Mynparents were supportive, but didn’t present anything to me like the Manzos: here is where you will be working. I think Lauren would be happier with more independence—even if she worked for or with her family, she could say is is what I want to do. I think Carolines “ick” or issues or drama (yes, drama) has rubbed off on Lauren.
Yes but doesnt albert own the brownstone with his brother, tommy, Dina’s husband? He is probably not going to love the idea of those two buffoons taking it over!
Not only is a 4 year college degree important but now most company’s expect a Masters. It’s just the norm now.
Or u cud go the zuckerberg,Steve jobs, bill gates route. Drop outs
I’m sure the Manzo kids have the same IQ’s, creativity, and drive as the above, NOT
The skid marks in those guys’ drawers have more going for them than the Manzoid spawn.
most of the ppl in Franklin Lakes didnt go to college they all have ther own buiness.My friend lives there and pple in her area own gastions,salons,bars,ect….
I think not Jo, maybe a few anecdotally but think you have your numbers wrong there…that is not the Franklin lakes I know…
Also I thought it was funny that she accidentally let out that they gave her the spray tan machine (and possibly did the room up as well) and then changed mid sentence to say she got this. It’s okay Lauren, we know that most of your stuff is put there by people who want to showcase there stuff and they pay for it.
On the weight thing, this sounds mean, but i so dont get it. Shes 23, doesnt work, lives at home, not a care in the world, nor a bill to pay….why couldnt she lose a lousy thirty pounds without lapband?
That would have taken some work and self-discipline. Two attributes Lauren clearly doesn’t possess. Chuckie didn’t instill either in any of her children, yet she’s writing an advice book.
I always was of the belief that lap band was the last resort and candidates have to meet certain criteria.
I’m sure that’s basically true but as with most things if you look hard enough you will find a doctor to give you what you want.
Yes, I thought one had to be morbidly obese to get a LapBand, not simply chubby and out of shape as she was/is.
Because that would mean she would have to get up off her pity potty and her couch.
The problem is even with a lapband, you still have to be disciplined and have healthy eating habits to maintain the loss you quickly achieve initially. And it drives me crazy!! One should never DIET. What’s needed is a life style change with proper and healthy eating habits to keep fit and trim. Oh yeah and regular exercise is a must too.
What she said……lol
Fun products its all i want for my skin.
Exactly. Because a product has to be fun to work. I mean look at Caroline, Her face looks like a clown & thats fun!
LOL @ Nikki!!
Nikki,
You made me crack up… Thanks for the belly laugh!
LOL
LOL!!!!
Exactly! Grown women don’t want fun little things! We want things that work and we want to buy them from people who know what they’re talking about. Don’t tell me that you have a $100 and a $9 face cream and don’t even try to explain the difference. I don’t want to buy ANYTHING that is called poopporri and those drawers were not “designed” just for CowFace you can get those at Ikea. From a merchandising stand point, (you will all just have to take my word on this but I am known in my buisness to be outstanding in merchandising) She is all over the place. The bones of her boutique are good enough but she has filled it with junky crap and that clothing side is pathetic !. You should at least know how to pronounce the things you sell. There are so many creative ways that you could display and market those vintage sungalsses and they just sit there looking cluttered. Ick, hate it.
I think it’s funny she called her mom the Don.
I think it’s sad her Mother tells her what she can and can not buy in her own store.
I think it’s down right embarrassing considering there are very few “healthy” foods I can think of to warrant having a microwave in your office.
LOL ! Yes SH that crew HAS been reading this site for sometime. I remember the BS way back that they gave you to prevent you from posting any of their pics on here (the bergen thing (sp?).
Their use of the name the “Don” started months ago , which they were all using it in their tweets, in a snide way.
I had posted a comment on here awhile back about how freaking lame it was for a grown man (prince Albie) to have a pic of him and his mommy as his twitter pic and no chit I saw he changed it to himself about 36 hours later, LOL !
There are many other examples in their tweets or blogs which use nicknames/ phrases / or address negative comments / ideas about them , that key words used indicate they read it here.. be it from your posts or readers comments.
It makes me smile that you and many other commenters , including myself continue to be a thorn in their side.. even in a small way.
I noticed that they also refer to their vajayjays as “chuckie”. Did they start calling it that because Caro is named Chuckie on here? They must think they are clever.
Also, if Lauren is such a great makeup artist and her Cat Face makeup is so great, why wasn’t Lauren doing the ladies’ makeup using her products on the RV when they were all getting their hair, makeup done? That would have been a perfect time to plug her stuff. And why does MeGo have a makeup artist when she could hire Lapband Lauren?
Melissa’s make-up artist also does plastering on the side. lol
Yea I think we saw her make-up artist doing the stucco on Juicy’s garage.
Because being someones makeup artist would actually require working and being on time and taking orders from a client…much easier to sit back and collect franchise fees in her dreams
Why doesn’t she do something with her mothers face, it looks like it was ran over by a Mac truck… Wow I haven’t heard that phrase in a long time… I am getting old..
Her momma fell out the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
They’ve always used “chuckie” to describe vjj – since season one. Even Dina says it.
Lapband Lauren is such a spoiled brat and even with wearing all black, her stomach enters a room before she does! Her parents bought her this store, she hasn’t accomplished anything on her own. She sounds like she’s 12 years old in narrating the video and the background music is too loud and annoying.
Why has Bravo put CaroClown’s kids front and center on the show and promoted them? Do they get a percentage of whatever profits they earn? I’m sure that can’t be much. I’m sick of the Moron-Manzo’s!
I think the Manzoids bribed the Bravo staff. Supposedly Miss Andy wasn’t paying that much attention to the RHONJ. The producer befriended by the Manzoids is no longer with the show.
Most if not all the original producers and staff have been let go by the end of the 4th season. I think Bravo finally saw that the staff had too friendly of a relationship with the Manzo’s and a few others. Also the destroy Teresa arc is getting old and is turning off people. Even though Andy hates Teresa and Joe’s guts, he still has a boss and they need the drama to move to a few others. Because believe it or not Teresa is their money maker, but Andy doesn’t care because he can’t stand them especially after Teresa threw him down to the chair on the second season reunion.
Andy is stupid he should be kissing Teresa’s feet for carrying this show for so long.
Buck: “Cat”… (can’t stand that nickname for Catherine!)… Rodriguez, the exec producer who is said to have instigated the whole “let’s get Tree” story line is the biggest fish to be axed. That says a lot! TFC!! SH
Wow – I did not know the ” Get Tree ” producers had been let go! Woohoo. That DOES say a lot. Good luck now Manzoids! I’m sure they’re busy trying to find out if they can, in fact sew their lips to the a*ses of the new producers as I type though.
There is always new talent, new housewives, etc I think if the Manzos go, they will be replaced with Manzo 2.2.
When will Andy go… I can’t stand that man, he kissing dons arse, it’s sickening..
Miss Andy is in love with Albie. I can’t think of any other reason these dipsticks are on tv.
In the video Lapband Lauren didn’t seem that skinny to me. Her face is still pudgy. Plus she is so lazy that she could bother having her nails done or straightening out the shop, she is was always saying “this is a mess now”, “this is a mess now.” And is that her real hair? because to me it bugs as those clip on hair extensions from QVC.
I was thinking the exact same things while watching this video. LapBand still has a double chin and doesn’t look slim to me at all. She is in the beauty business and doesn’t have her nails done. Why is the shop a mess? Straighten your s#it up, your mommy’s not there to do it for you. Why are they open for business with some cheap @ss rolling racks from Marshall’s? Her hair looks awful: thin, limp, stringy, and damaged. Instead of filling her lap banded stomach up with alcohol, she should be ingesting actual nutrition, ‘cuz her hair is falling out. Her constant use of “Um” and “like” reveals herself to be the moron that she is. The music was so loud that it was irritating and the shaky camera work was straight out of ‘Blair Witch Project”. I got motion sickness watching this. Or, maybe it was just the usual Manzoid induced nausea that occurs when watching these fart cupping morons.
I had many of the same thoughts and as a former chunk myself, I actually feel for her. I KNEW the whole liquid-egg-white-diet-followed-by-surgical-altering-of-stomach thing was NOT going to work long term, but I’m surprised how quickly the backslide has happened. It took me a LONG time to realize there are NO quick or easy fixes and that HEALTH and not looking hawt, needs to be your primary motive. The latter is a merely a nice side effect of the former. Lauren POUNDS booze in every scene and to my mind, obsesses about her “looks”. As a hardcore “girly girl” I’m all for ” keeping yourself up”, primping and pampering myself, but that’s not at all about being internally, psychologically and physically healthy – that’s something entirely different. Eating lots of blueberries and salmon will do as much, if not more for your looks than a good concealer or a “fun” face mask. Plus, I agree with you, for someone in the ” Beauty Industry ” promoting her brand and store, she didn’t LOOK so hawt, despite her obsession with it.
Actually she’s gaining weight back. She looked thinner a few months back and since her loosening up of her lapband that she said she was going to do she has gotten bigger. The funny thing is the fact that she made sure to point out her microwave and her “health food”. Yea right Lauren, she hides and eats thats it.
And don’t forget her favorite thing in the store is how the drawers don’t make noise when they close. What an uneducated moron. She sounded like an 8 yr old little girl, not a business owner.
Who the h*ll points out drawer knobs, how drawers shut, the chandelier you bought for $200 on discount to get people to come to your makeup store? Also, she dissed about 95% of america when she said she had to go buy the racks at The Container Store or Marshalls to get by until they could buy racks that come down from the ceiling. Personally it looked like an ARC store to me. There was too much crap in there. She didnt even know her products. I get the feeling she sits in her office while her peeps do the work. She said she was waiting for her staff to set up her microwave. Puhleeze.
LOL, HH. Nothing about Cafface says business. Lauren has no idea how to merchandise. Why wouldn’t the Manzoids have hired a professional to plan the layout of the shop,create merchandising vignettes, etc ? The makeup “chairs” are stools with no backs on them.
The only area that looked good was the tanning booth, which must have been designed and donated by a professional company. I’m not going to waste my time watching the video again, but it looked like you could see the back door from the front of the store. Good grief, didn’t these people even bother to look up free info readily available on the internet?
You just reminded me of something in the video CJ…..when she started walking to the back and began talking about her office, i thought she was going to opend the door to the alley instead of the other door! That would be funny……wait! I just noticed I put my email address in wrong on my above comment which gave me a TON of arms to hug BSL!
BigAl lost so much weight and kept it off. Don and LapbandLauren? Umm, not so much. You are right, they are getting bigger and bigger. TOO FUNNY! Bwahahaha
IDK Al definitely looked as if he had gained weight back on the Napa trip. Watched a re-run and was shocked at his weight gain.
Big Al did not look happy either. And certainly not healthy.
Sephora has nothing to worry about. Same for Ulta.
Lauren is so arrogant. She is looking better with the weight loss. She actually has a pretty face.
BUT – she has a nasty personality. Yikes. Who would want to be around her.
Like mother like daughter. Caroline is raising a clone of herself.
I think they both have sour personalities. But I think Lauren is far lazier. C had three kids by the time she was 30, and it seems she pretty much raised them herself while Al was working all if the time. And they werent loaded. I cant see Lauren doing that.
I go to Ulta. I like the products they carry. I watched the video and got dizzy. Ashlee has got to learn how to slow down with the videos she takes and my good all that stuff in that one shop. Not a good idea. Oh well, I’m not paying the rent.
I go to Ulta and Sephora , as soon as you walk in you are approched in a very no pressure professonal way. The last time I was at Ulta I needed something for a specific reason.When I told the person who was helping me she knew exactly what to show me, explained the benefit to each choice and made sure it was the right shade. She was right too I love what I ended up getting that day. Bet you don’t get that kind of assistance at CowFace.
I don’t know about catface but I do know at Ulta you get the Royal treatment and you can get a facial there which I have done a number of times and they are excellent. I wouldn’t get my hair done there because I’ve been told they do hire girls out of school. I havn’t had make-up done there yet. Everytime I’m in there I always leave with a gift. Love Love Love it and being a resort area they are busy all year round.
Barb, I’ve gotten my hair done at a few different Ulta locations (all in NY and NJ). The girls weren’t fresh out of school and they were very knowledgable about color and cut. I’m EXTREMELY particular and I need a 3 hour colorjob every 2 months (bleached, highlights, lowlights, then usually a toner). Ulta used to do a very decent job.
Thanks for letting me know because the salon they have looks so clean. My stylist told me this and I never had anyone to tell me different. Mine takes a long time also because I get the color the highlights and the low lights also. I may just give them a try sometime.
To me it looks a lot like a thrift store. She is such a socially awkward nitwit there is no way she can effectively supervise employees and run a business.
I used to like Andy but now I see him more and more showing favoritism. I watched a rerun of RHNJ reunion and he was on Tre like white on rice. Andy a good host does not show favoritism but keeps the guest on even ground, you clearly don’t like Tre although she is the one bringing in the viewers, I wish she could get her own show on another station and tell Andy to stuff it! Carolyn is such a unhappy person, she can not stop talking about Tre and apparently the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree because Lauren is very bitter as well!
I hate to say it, but it seems if you have a gay person in your family, i.e. Kathy or Carolyn, then Andy throws you a pass. And this is why BGG is featured on the show also, why else? He is not even related to them.
It does seem that way sparklie, there sure were alot of story lines for awhile based around Rosie who isn’t even a housewife, Kathys sister yes, but apparently brothers and sisters don’t get a story line unless they are gay.
That store just looks like a hot mess. It just seems like a bunch of stuff she likes and just wants around her. It doesn’t seem like she put much more thought into it than that. She went to marshalls and bought crappy racks? That shows a lot of pride in your business. Although I do have to say those drawers are great for little kids. We have them in the house and they are such a great idea.
I know what is the focus? I thought it was supposed to be doing peoples makeup. Maybe shes not so into that part of it?
Meant to add definitely think Cafface will close down sooner rather than later. Retail is hard, long hours.
Overheard in CatFace a few weeks ago,,,,, Lauren claiming that she is taking this national (franchise?) and that this is the home store. The place has been open a long time now and the website STILL says “coming soon”. Delusional much?
Daisy: What would be the advantage of sinking money into becoming a CAT-FACE… LOL!… franchisee? Anyone can open a little catch-all store exactly like LapBand’s… a cosmo or aesthetician license is not required to own either a hair salon or a makeup store. Cannot see where there would be any plusses to being attached in any way to the Manzoids! And THAT is the only draw… “buy a franchise from someone you’ve seen on TV!” Ain’t gonna work! TFC!! SH
I’ve also heard that chateau which moved elsewhere in town with a large clientele left in part because of the high rent. Duh. So CatFace, with zero following moves into space left by a highly trafficed salon? Doesn’t sound like a profitable business move to me… Will be interested to see how this plays out…
Almost as bad as DASH. I’ve been to DASH a couple times and there are practically zero products and the stuff that is there is tacky, expensive and cheaply made. Then, they sell water bottles (like Dasani bottles) with DASH on the side of them for $10! And they have huge K sister faux Warhol silkscreens all over.
horrible store.
Lapband Lauren is an arrogant Idiot and so are those two people that claim to be Model Parents! You are so right, Ann, she has no focus and she is LAZY! They way over built that space! Their merchandising is tacky and the bottom line is….What do they have to draw people in to buy? Not only that, Lauren gave this tour with less gusto than my granddauthters give a tour of their play house! What annoyed me the most, was Lapband talking about the MESS and Not having the microwave hooked up for “her food”, because “One of Her Employees” will do it. WTH? How many freakin employees does she have? Lapband should be in that place 24/7 and she should be out there attacting clients and holding drop dead special events. It looks to me like the Manzo’s can kiss away a minimum of 250K on this Hot Mess!
Franchise??? Seriously!!! Yes, Absolutely Delusional!!
I can’t get over the spectacularly awful name Chuckie chose for the store–it sounds like calf face. How delusional is she to think that the lame business model and laughable name is franchise worthy.
I see Tabitha’s Salon Makeover in Lauren’s future.
OMG please!!!!!!
OMG that would be so much fun to watch!
Wouldn’t it though? Watching Tabitha and Caro take each other on. I would say Caro would meet her match in Tabitha!
But Caroline is a street wise bidness woman!
and no one has talked about the poop products. i thought that was a joke!!!!!!
They have been around for years. I remember as a gift buyer seeing them at market and thinking they were BEYOND tacky!!!! I don’t imagine they would sell well at all….. but what do I know!
Franchises! Bwahahahaha. Another get-rich-quick scheme!
LMAO! Of course they read this blog & all the others! What else do these losers have to do. None of them except Big Old AL work! So when they are not filming they sit around on their fat rears & read blogs about themselves. I think Lauren calls her “Don” as short for “Don’t Tell Mom Albie’s Gay”. I know it is not nice to be a hater but honestly I have never liked Carolying & her fat lazy boring family from episode 1. She is a hypocritical, cliched hack. & Her face is so ugly it could make a train jump its tracks & take the dirt path! Cafface is a stupid idea & it will not last for several reasons. A) Lauren is a dog whose own make up ain’t all that stellar. Compare her to Priscilla Di Stacio. Yup game over. B) It requires actual work. So much for that. Lauren has sitting around & bitching to do. C) Who is going to come in& buy make up & services from this whiney spoiled baby. 1 time maybe just for the novelty but that will be it. You can’t run a business on that.
For some reason I can’t watch the clip—-but can’t help jump in. Understanding the boutique(?) is in an upscale location, still not sure why women would flock in to have their make up done + buy product without a hook. Dept stores offer the same without the awkward ‘conversation with Lauren’ factor tied in. You’re right…the women who sell cosmetics are always gorgeous, or edgy. She has to find some way to make it a ‘cool’ place to go. I don’t get that vibe from Lauren. If could afford a pro make up artist, would want the service in house, not at a store front.
Oh yeah, why is the Don wearing a tuxedo in top photo? Girl, that is NOT your look!
LOL Meow, that’s from the movie “Godfather2″ It’s Marlon Brando aka Don Vito Corleone.
AhHa! Thanks HH, I guess it’s a step up the food chain from channeling Carmela Soprano
Savonna, agree with all your points, and can I just add:
D.) What woman who lives in New Jersey would want to give Lauren any business when she called all NJ women Ho’s on the show?
If they were really Italian they would know it is “Donna” for a woman or madam. So it seems obvious that Lauren has read this on SH’s blog. I mean we know Jackasslyn’s Mom reads this stuff. Proof positive that without this UN-reality show these people have absolutely no life.
I think you are right about Jac’s mom! I think she reads more blogs about Jersey than I do lol
you cannot be serious!
Haven’t read other comments yet, so maybe I am repeating, but Lauren’s presentation skills are terrible. Every other word is “Ummmm”, her hands are flailing all over the place, and her inflection is a combination of Valley Girl and “UGH, I don’t feel like doing this right now, but whatever”. She comes across as unprofessional, inexperienced, and a seventh grader. All she was missing was the notecards in her hand so she could look down at them every three seconds.
This is so embarrassing! What is the focus of that store..?? They have scattered makeup with NO marketing. Just putting stuff on a table isn’t gonna sell it. Lining products up on a shelf doesn’t move it out the door. For Lauren to not have PERFECT hair, makeup and nails tells me that she doesn’t give a shit about the things she is selling-why would I??? She even admits that she bought “cheap” racks for the clothes! Fine if you did as a temporary measure, but DON’T SAY that! And if you’re trying to sell “cute” clothes, try wearing some! She is way too young to be dressed in black, cover-up type of clothes. And admitting that you’re “too lazy” to organize your office space is just….wow.
In her mind, she probably thinks she is coming across as “hip”. I think the biggest eyeroll is from her saying she’ll wait until one of her employees sets up her microwave for her. She does realize all you have to do is plug it into the wall socket, yes?
how about the fresh flowers behind the bar..? It’s supposed to be a cafe for your face…right? So why not feature different makeup palettes or collections in at least SOME of the square cubicles? Shouldn’t there be a “menu” somewhere to play up the (stupid) name of the place?
But you have to open the box up first. Then, you have to remove all the packing material. Then, you should wipe down the microwave in and out. Then, you have to place it on a heat resistant service with room for the vents. TOO MUCH WORK.
However, most of us have done this when we bought a microwave. She is pathetic.
Now that we saw the store where was the cafe part of Cafface? Wasn’t that the whole concept?
Microwave popcorn + a tepid Sanka
I reckon it was suppose to be that front desk bar/counter. Pitiful.
You’d think they would at least serve up some cotton candy vodka. PS your typing sucks when your drinking! LOL
LOL. Mostly I was just puttin on the dog about the drunk spelling. … mostly… sorta like when I countrify up my posts with hillbilly grammar. I wasn’t THAT far gone. I could still see those helpful little squiggly red lines under every other word.
LOL It was like playing scrabble thought it was fun.
Speaking of vodka……..if Ms. SH ever chose to organize a HW viewing party for SH fans to convene (like a flash mob at aTGIF or some national chain) THAT’s something I would flock to for the Live Action commentary!! Husband would pay the cover charge NOT to suffer through one more HW episode. Just a thought
I’m sure my husband would pay good money to get me to go somewhere to watch this crap (his words not mine.) If I can sit through swamp people and listen to “Choot em” for an hour he can tolerate sitting in another room watching TV while I’m housewifeing. It’s not like he didn’t put a TV in every room.
Same here — honey has the big TV and I have my little one and he still complains about watching it, yet he watching hunting and fishing. Talk about boring!
but does he have one in the bathroom?
Same here I have the small one in the bedroom and I DVR all my shows.
ha! same here! My husband gets so mad when I watch, I have watched more survior man/Bear Grills/out door shows you think her would cut me a break about the Housewives. Alas he does not! I watch in the bedroom.
Too funny! Here it’s either history channel war doc., ‘locked up abroad (scary) or Call of the wild man ….which has me now obsessed with the Turtleman. Any red blooded American man who can bare hand a 6 foot rat snake in a crawl space deserves a good woman!!
LOL
Cyn, I have been wondering the same thing. What happeded to the Coffee Bar? Yes, the Don came up with the stupid name because it was going to be a combination coffee bar/cosmetic boutique.
Instead, they have an over crowded mess, merchandised with Junk!
They should have spent some money on a good consultant (not Jax the cosmetologist!)
The fact that Lapband felt OK about creating this poorly produced video to highlight her business really says it all!
Laurens office… water bottle on desk NOT BLK. And its so obvious that the DON phoned it in on this one in terms of investment in aesthetics of the place. An IKEA chandelier? The make-up tables are pitiful… Sumpin tells me if Criddopher and Albie opened a boutique momma would make sure every square inch of the place was top of the line.
Also that sign about children hanging off fixtures should have been worded differently.
My eight year old niece could have made that chandalier. Heck, she was doing more advanced projects with crystal a year ago.
I once saw a sign in a store that said ‘Unattended children will be given an espresso and a puppy’. lol.
Now that is funny.
There are so many things wrong with this video- there is no way that Caro approved this. When most people go into stores specializing in beauty, they usually look at people working in the stores to see if they like the look that they are rockin. All of the ladies at the Sephora in my neck of the woods have great makeup and nails. I would not trust Lauren’s opinion based on her hair/ makeup/ nails in this video. She actually carries some good lines but instead of highlighting them she discusses something to hide the smell of poop? She didn’t even mention ‘Stila’ which may actually bring people in the store…Maybe I just imagined that thing about the poop .bc that was too gross. She kept referring to the products as ‘things’….”My favorite thing in the store.” The no- slam drawers and the lights in the makeup station?? Whaa? She kept discussing her laziness i.e microwave, nails,lack of website. She seemed to lack the passion that a new storeowner usually possesses. Oh, I have to quote Caro here “I’d put my kids up against anybodys.” Caro, I have two hairy little dogs that I’d put up against your kids in a second…
She spent more time talking about the fixtures of the store–the tile, the drawers, the drawer pulls, the chandelier, the racks, the counter, etc. than she did talking about the products that she is actually selling. Maybe she should go work at Home Depot, she seems more interested in building materials than makeup.
Home Depot!! Yeah, I think I missed the point of the video. I also did not get the feel that she is really into makeup. She didn’t give any real detail about any of the products. Like “Too Faced has a popular bronzer” or “This face wash is great for combination skin.” Could it possibly be that Caro pushed the whole cosmotology concept on Lauren? Naaaahhhhh.
Season 1. Caro to Lauren. “I don’t want you to say I like makeup. I want you to look at the big picture. I want you to own a salon someday.”
Ana: LOL!! Am literally LOL-ing at the thought of LapBandLauren in an orange smock… or whatever uniform she’d have to wear at HD! Can also see da Don marchin’ in that HD store demanding to see LapBandLauren’s boss to talk about a special dispensation for LapBand ’cause she can’t wear anything orange… the color orange makes her band expand immediately! Poor LapBand! LOL!! TFC! SH
You’re so right Ana. And funny too!
Lauren is deluded if she believes for a moment she can conquer the cosmetic market. Sephora, Ulta and department stores are miles ahead of you. Presentation is everything and lapband is ill-spoken and unattractive plus has an extremely bad attitude. How is that a platform for success?
How can she compete with the free samples, great make-up tips, customer reviews that any consumer can access online? Why work hard when you can have it handed to you for free right Don? Except Lauren is an example of exactly why that formula is doomed to failure.
Must add after watching Uhh Lapband, uhh tell us about her space and her Uhhh products that she uhh gave her uh presentation very little thought. Clearly she has committed the cardinal sin of retail she does not know her product or her customer. The devil is in the details. Not cute to spend valuable time on making one’s poop smell better and store fixtures. Would have been much better with make-up artists actually working on customers. Lapband was vague and lacked focused. She’s in the beauty business and I didn’t see the pretty.
It was funny how when she was talking about people laughing at her table of stuff devoted to covering up poop smell, she was so dismissive. LapBand is too arrogant to listen to customer feed back about her poop spray line. She likes the poop spray, so it is going to take up valuable floor space in her shop, ‘cuz SHE likes it!
Her momma prolly makes her carry that stuff for synergy when her lil chriddopher makes that book about places to poop.
My first jobs were in retail, lo many years ago but projected sales of product and price point have to be major consideration. Probably not clear but the product has to yield x amount of profit to justify it’s placement. That poop stuff is tacky and should be hard by the register, impulse buy with only one each for display. Low end, low price products don’t generate income to warrant a large display. Unless LB sells mass quantities, even so restock folks. However if one cannot plug in a microwave then it is far more than being intellectually challenged it’s called LAZY.
Ah, retail. I don’t know how long ago this was for you, but I remember the days of actually having to know 10-key and entering the price on the register manually instead of scanning. I remember actually counting the change back to customers, instead of just thrusting the money in their hand the way they do now. Shoot, the old registers didn’t even tell you how much change to give, you had to figure it out. Nowadays the register tells the kids the amount to give back in change and they sometimes struggle to even know how to pull the right amount from the drawer. Wow, I sound old writing this, but it wasn’t THAT long ago.
Cheers Ana! Oh yeah! Your experience mirrors mine. My second job at 17 was working in a drugstore in Key West Florida at the cosmetic counter. Supervisor was an absolute martinet, demanding, a stickler for details, I hated her with every fiber of my being but OMG I learned so much from her. PS we are not old ! We are like fine wine!
PS Doubt LapBand could calculate change if you held a gun to her head. Sounds small but if you can’t calculate the small details you cannot see the big picture. Purveying cosmetics is very personal, it requires a genuine concern for what your customer needs plus the ability to read personalities. Sounds trite but you are often the recipient of the most intimate details of a females life. You are High priestess, wise counselor and occasionally friend.
Exactly! She calls everything, “Stuff”, the cosmetics, the skin care, the clothes the tacky jewelry. Clearly she has no idea what she actually carries, let alone how to target a specific item or brand to a customer. Oh…but wait! I’ll bet that “One of her employees” with do all of that!! LOL…she sure loves saying “one of my employees!”
Making excuses for not having her nails done is inexcusable in that business!
Lapband is a Lazy Fool along with her mother!
Why would any employee hav even the desire to provide what Lapband Jr, cannot. ITA with your comments. Lap is blah. Uninspiring, clearly lacks enthusiasm . How will she motivate employees much less establish customer relationships that will build her business.
I like how she says “don’t look at my nails”. So you own a beauty bar and you can’t keep up your hands//nails that you use to work on peoples faces? I wouldn’t let her near my face. I bet the place smells like old cheese. And Ashley, kill the rock music, it was annoying.
Agree. Ashley IS the product. So not impressed.
Is Lindsay really a partner or just an employee? sort of a dangerous move methinks…..
Methinks the manzoids keep her around just for Caro’s image. Y’all, she doesn’t chew up and spit out all the ladies that dare to date her precious Alby! See, Lindsey is like one of the family bc Caro is so open to others! What a sweet woman!!
Yeah that’s weird. Especially if Albie has no time for a girlfriend due to his BLK work. I wonder if she still lives with the boyz? Don making her work for room n board? At the same time keeping a close eye on her so she dont go spillin any fambily secrets if she decides to move on with another feller.
I think Lindsey is just to keep people from saying Albie is gay. If Caro is so open minded why should she worry if Albie comes out?
Maybe Miss Andy should ask her at the reunion show.
Heres the puzzling part. Seems to me that in NJ Andy has highlighted two families with gay family members(Jamie and Rosie and then maybe the closeted Albie???) Anyways, there has been chatter about how both sisters (Kathy and Don) were not so accepting of their sibling coming out at first, and if the Albie thing is true , it seems that Albie has already got the message loud n clear from his momma-Stay in there kid!. Now, in an age where young gay people kill themselves over the fear of coming out and its mostly the fear of FAMIBLY reactions….. I don’t know… just seems like an odd choice of gayedness to be highlighting. Seems to me like they should be able to find family members that ALWAYS showed compassion and acceptance over it. Not ones that had to “get used to it” and now try to pretend the rejection never happened.
You hit the nail on the head once again, Made! A few months ago I was on twitter and someone tweeted to Albie something along the lines of “People are so small minded to think that just bc you have a gay roommate, that means you are gay as well.” Caro retweeted it on her page. Um, if sexuality means nothing to Caro, why retweet?
When Caro said in a past blog something about how she felt sad for her brother when she found out he was gay, because he would face so much ridicule, it was very telling. If you truly are totally fine with homosexuality, you wouldn’t feel sad for a gay relative. You’d be happy they came out and stopped hiding so they could live openly and true to themselves.
Miss Andy is afraid she will hit him over the head with her purse if he asks her.
Quite frankly, I think all this talk of the possibility that Albie is gay serves no purpose except to cause pain. How can this sort of chatter help anyone reading here that is gay and struggling? Sexuality is at the core of every human being. It is very personal and often complicated. If a person chooses to talk about their own sexuality, that is their choice and their business, no one elses.
For the record, I don’t think that Albie is gay. If he is, it is his business. Quite honestly, I find the Hetero guys, the two Joe’s and Richie to be disgusting in their display of their sexuality, if you care to call it that. They certainly do not behave like self actualized males. Chasing women, making sexual remarks and displaying their body parts does not make a man a man.
According to a profile on the Jets’ cheerleader page, her occupation is fashion and marketing intern.
That fake know it all Cow has been tweeting for 2 days telling parents whose kids are starting college to let them go and grow and they’ll b back. Really?? U control freak know it all. When are u going to let your grown ass titty babies go?? She makes me ILL!!!
Wow! She has absolutely no self awareness. The title of her d@mn book should be: ‘Do as I Say, not as I Do’.
Those fresh flowers were pitiful. Why bother. really.
My first thought…pitiful. You are absolutely right. It was just sad.
My first thought as well. My second thought was there should be product on those shelves. Speaking of them reading here on SH did anybody catch BGG calling Albie, Prince Albie?? It was about 6 months ago and I don’t remember if it was a clip or part of the show. But I do remember Critterfur told BGG to stop.
NO I musta missed that one. But its obvious by the tone of their twits when there is comments about them on here . They read.
Yes, I remember that. They were in the apartment and BGG had just made breakfast and called “Prince Albie” to come to the table to eat!
This is a prime example of why these morons can’t make good on any of the business opportunities that are coming there way. First off, the bar wall with the flowers is a just a bunch of negative space. Mean while she has that back room stuffed full of crap. Erm don’t her brothers own a premium water? Isn’t that I perfect place to display to display this miracle in a bottle? After all, if it can cure cancer and autism it must work wonders for weight loss and your complexion. You would think she would want to offer the customer getting their make up done, a free bottle to two while they wait.
Love how she is selling us her brand, we now know more about her fixtures then we do the products she selling. Though she does take the time to highlight one of her favorites… poopouri classy! She is borderline obsessed with all the shiny lights. Clearly she has filled this place with stuff she would like to own but her mother says she can’t afford. Did she give any thought as to what people would actually buy?
Apparently she spent so much on the no-slam drawers that she had to settle for the tacky looking $200 DIY Chandelier. Maybe she can get a better one after she sells of all those vintage sunglasses.Sounds like she’s got a nice mark up on them. Wouldn’t it have made more sense to have a customer or two in the chair so we could see her USING actually the products?
Her store has no flow to it all, and is completely confused. Is its a bar/ cafe or a cosmetics store or a tanning salon or a boutique? Not to mention that there is no product signage in the store what or ever. If I did not watch the show I would have no idea what Cafface is or what she sold what so ever. Its not clear from her name and logo.
Teresa might be a as dumb as a box of rocks.But even she is smart enough to hire someone who DOES know how to sell her products. It pretty insulting that the Manzoids think that people will just buy their crap cos there in TV. They put in zero effort (shm). She couldn’t even get her mother or aunt to make a guest appearance in the video. Carowhine would be better off banking that bravo paycheck then sinking anymore money into her kids money pit businesses.
The sad thing is that if she hadn’t made the low self esteem point of saying ”don’t look at my nails, don’t look behind the desk it’s a mess, don’t look in the office it’s a mess, i’m a crazy Jersey girl who slams things, cheesy racks” I wouldn’t have noticed her nails, wouldn’t have cared or thought it odd that she didn’t show behind the desk or her office, wouldn’t know she was a graceless oaf who slams drawers with no care for her space and wouldn’t have noticed the racks were cheesy. And she called herself lazy.
I wonder how much of that self hatred is programing from her mother and it just leaks out all over the place in her responses to her own thoughts.
Those parts of the video made me sad. ..talking about the vintage Gucci sunglasses that she loves and then negates herself right afterwards by saying ”for some reason we still have them here so not everyone does”. Sad. Probably what her mother said to her.
Her mother telling her that she couldn’t afford the bracelet ring ”thing” was sad too…ugh the girl needs therapy not a new business venture.
The annoying ”um” ”like” calling everything ”stuff” and saying over and over that some stuff was her favorite thing or favorite stuff took me out of sad to totally annoyed.
Hey Lauren, when you say over and over again that something or other is your favorite thing in the store you end up lacking any credibility at all.
Lauren will never make any progess as long as she lives at home, in the shadow of her mother. She should have her own apartment, her own friends, and her own life. Instead she will marry Vito and live down the street from her mother. She will also be obese, lap band or not.
I used to think Vito should run for daylight from the Manzoids, but he showed his @ss on the Napa trip literally and figuratively. I now think he is in his element among the Manzoids.
I’m sure his parents back home at the deli were so proud.
Ya, did you catch the scene of Vito with a huge wine stain on his shirt standing by the table at Caro’s birthday dinner? He was loudly talkin about how some chick told him she’d slept with a Manzo, (idk which one). Class act. That’s how you act in front of future in-laws…
I did catch that, but I had forgotten it until you mentioned it. In that story that he was telling, he was trying to pick up that chick that told him that she had slept with a Manzo. Wow! I can’t tell you how charming that story was. I mean, what girl doesn’t want to be regaled with stories of her boyfriend trying to bag her brother’s sloppy seconds.
Vito tried to pass himself off as Albie Manzo and the girl said that she had slept with Albie Manzo so she knows he isn’t Albie!
What Stinkerbell said. Giving away my age but Lap Bands store is what we call restless middle aged housewife aka rich hubby’s indulgence. After the kiddies leave home, the pampered little woman stomps designer shoe clad foot and demands to be liberated and have her own business. After all, she deserves it after shatting out 2.5 requisite children and shepherding them to preschool, soccer, ballet, piano plus 12 years of education including carpools, PTA and all the requisite medical, dental appts. Then helicoptering said babes through choosing a University worthy of their talents. Insert sarcasm. Business launched with enthusiasm and plenty of hub’s money for the wee antique cum home decor store, or posh designer clothes and handbags that peter into uninspired off-the-rack. 3.5 years pass and friends and customers loyalty wavers a bit as they are lured to greener pastures, fresher designs, the up and coming. Huge fizzle. Down the tubes.Franchise? Hell, lapband cannot even master merchandise.
And she gets the store because he has a girlfriend and doesn’t want to pay out big money in a divorce. Same for the car.
why couldn’t thy just have a store in the brown stone , and when you are trying too get people too shop at your store , you build relationships caroline has a nasty out look on life and she mine ?
Because savvy al and tommy wouldn’t dare let anything like tacky CatFace and Lauren taint their profitable brownstone business site. I have a feeling this CatFace is Caroline’s doing entirely. Wouldn’t be surprised if al agreed reluctantly
The Brownstone caters to party’s and weddings, right? If Lauren was smart she would have a store there and cater to the wedding % of people. Selling makeup and hair for wedding day. BUT she doesn’t have the skills and mommy and daddy know this, so they aren’t putting her there.
Tommy Manzo would not allow it. He is not going to have the business trashed up with Lapband’s toys.
Lauren has so many “favorite things” and so little enthusiasm. My favorite thing, My favorite thing, My favorite thing … all said as if she was bout to keel over from boredom. It was as if she could barely lift her hand to point to something. Nope – I would not buy anything in that environment. She did pick up a bit when talking about her favorite thing poopy spray, though. With her lack of understanding that sales requires you at least pretend to like your product, she must be banking on RHONJ to bring in business. Oh – and was that awful background music actually in the store?
Who does she think she is with her “favorite things”? Oprah? Don’t nobody care what Lapband’s favorite things are. She has zero influence and taste. Who cares what she thinks? This little video reminds me of a you tube trend from a few years ago where teenage and pre-teen girls would go shopping and then make a video of their “haul”. I think that is what they were called: haul videos.
I would rather watch Julie Andrews sing about her favorite things:
I love how every tiny table is a “section” – this is our bridal section.
How could she brag about weight loss with that large belly hanging for all to see? Even in her all-black outfit after she talks about loving bright colors. I think she needs a Spanx “section”.
“I’m too lazy to do my nails, plug in a microwave, or learn the names of my products, but my drawers don’t slam, my knobs are sparkly, and my poop smells good.”
LOL! Too funny!
LOL, perfect summary of that way too long um, like, just, favorite, video.
Lauren’s ratty nails… ‘member when BGG posted a picture of what was supposed to be the person behind the fauxmilania twitter account? That chicka had some messy nails too. Now I aint sayun. I’m just sayun.
Oh, it would be great if the dots could be connected.
Ya, uh, I don’t wanna buy clothes with a designer name YOU can’t pronounce, nor do I want to buy the sunglasses and jewelry you bought for yourself but your mommy said you can’t keep. And I really don’t want a spray tan in a booth you got from the real spray tan experts, with a crash course in spray tanning…..Such BAD promotional skills!
I wasn’t going to watch the clip but did. I want to know if KMart is missing a clearance table? That back to school table looked like something KMart has.(no offence to KMart)..If you are going to steal another stores table she could at least have taken the big flashing blue light too!..lolol
ALL of you guys/gals comments and observations are sooooo FUNNY and spot on! I STILL can’t stop laughing after reading all the posts! I LOVE this site!
I love it too Maureen. Very funny people on this here site.
Lauren sounds excited about the poop spray products. I never though I would say this, but Lauren really knows her sh!t.
Perhaps momma and daddy should have opened a septic cleaning business for lapband! At least she wouldn’t have to worry about spending ten minutes to do her nails!
I am only looking over this old post because my sister in Ridgewood NJ, Lisa Monteleone went into Cafface last Saturday 9/8/12. She said the beauty expert tried to make her look like a clown & by that evening half the make up had worn off. My sis said the make up artist did not really listen to her when she said she wanted a smokey eye but no bronzer and a bare lip. My sister has great eyes and good bone structure & doesn’t need a ton of make up. She said the make up artist insisted on putting their brand of bronzer on to “warm up” her face. Lisa said the make up is low quality like NYX, cheap. There are a ton of overpriced clothes and bags in there & the staff was super pushy. Lisa says she will NEVER go back & now recommends Panico in Ridg Maybe ewood.
Why do these Reality Show hacks think they can just open a business that they know nothing about & succeed???? Maybe Lauren should open up a Lapband office instead. Something she knows about.
Went to Cafface with a friend today. There was 1 girl sitting behind the counter (not Lauren) who did not greet us or even acknowledge us. We looked around for 15 or 20 minutes before we were even asked if we needed help. There were no other “customers” in the store and nobody getting a make-up application, spray tan, etc. The “boutique” corner looks worse like the donation corner at my local Good Will. Here are some suggestions to the “owners”:
1. Show some customer service by greeting and acknowledging customers when they are kind enough to come to your store.
2. Know about the products and the prices and don’t just scan a product and say it is “amazing”. How would someone who is not even 25 years old know if the “Anti-Aging” serum is amazing?
3. Fill in all the empty product display spaces on the make-up side. There were alot of holes in your displays.
4. Be an “owner/operator” who is there and make it your business to service your customers, don’t wait for them to come to you.
5. If this is “your” store, you should be there working.
6. Why don’t you have some blk in a mini-fridge or a refrigerated case and help expand your family’s consumer base. Isn’t it a health oriented product like your beauty products. I would rather sample that than buy your “Poo-pourri”.
We were not very impressed………….