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CAROLINE MANZO: Chris Manzo, Albie Manzo, BigGayGreggy… Dating Details… “If Lauren Doesn’t Like” Girlfriend Is Out!

August 3, 2012  12:34 am   Bravo

The Brothers Manzo recently filled out our little dating questionnaire, and there’s a little bit of everything in there: Current relationship status, their celebrity crushes, embarrassing moments … Is Albie still dating Lindsey?   ANSWER:  NO!

And, anyone who’s seen them on RHONJ knows they’re not afraid to embarrass themselves a bit and have a good laugh at their own expense, so please, enjoy.   NOTE:  FEBUS alert!!!  The Manzoids NEVER have a ‘good laugh at their own expense’….

CHRIS MANZO

Single or taken?
Chris: Single

Describe your love life in just three words.
Not. right. now.

What’s the longest relationship you’ve had?
8 months

Who’s your celebrity crush?
Anne Hathaway for 2 more years, then Demi Lovato.

You have a great sense of humor. Do you prefer a girl who can keep up with you or one who lets you have the jokester spotlight?
I like someone who is a bit sarcastic, but not someone as obnoxious as me, an intelligent sense of humor.

When is it OK to lie to a girl?
In the beginning of talking, every guy does that. “Wow, here I am thinking I’m the only one who is so broken up over the endangerment of the North Carolina Flying Squirrel.” Sharing common interests is important, even if it’s slightly fabricated.

How long do you wait before promoting a girl friend to girlfriend?
A few weeks/months, depends on how things go out of the gate. Every case is different.

 “Lauren didn’t like her!!   What am I supposed to do???”

If Lauren doesn’t like your girl – or she can’t cook! –  are those automatic deal breakers?
I can cook, and enjoy cooking, so that’s no big deal.   If Lauren doesn’t like her, not happenin’.

                                       ************************************

ALBIE MANZO

Single or taken?
These days my dating life has taken a backseat to blk. We are all working really hard and are focused on building a great business. I know that a lot of people don’t understand that, but it’s what I feel is best for me right now. So there.

  A picture is worth a thousand words… PrinceAlbie got his priorities!

Describe your love life in just three words.
Bg ol’ mess.

What’s the longest relationship you’ve had?
Four years. She’s actually getting engaged, so weird! We have a great friendship and I couldn’t be more happy for her. Her fiancé is getting a great girl and I’m sure they’ll be really happy. I wish them all the best.

Who’s your celebrity crush?
Pia Toscano

                  Pia Toscano…

What should a girl do (and not do!) to win over your family?
Winning over my family is definitely not as difficult as it may seem. If I’m happy, that’s all they really care about. The worst thing someone can do is over-think that stuff. Although I listen to what everyone has to say, I don’t let anyone’s opinion affect how I feel about someone.

What’s the dumbest thing you’ve done on a date?
Film it.

What three things make a girl wifey material?
Loyalty, sense of humor, random text messages. (Weird, I know, but for whatever reason that’s big with me.)

You spot a cute girl at a bar or restaurant. What’s your go-to move?
I’m not really a “move” guy. I like to just go over and say hello. If a girl is into you, things will go from there. If not, they usually have no problem making you feel like a complete idiot.   NOTE:  PrinceAlbie has zero male confidence…   WONDER WHY???

NOTE:  SH could make a “love connection” for PrinceAlbie!!!  SH knows someone whose niece is Pia Toscano!!!   

************************************


The Dish: Single or taken?

Greg: Taken. The muffin shop is still closed.

Describe your love life in just two words.
Jennifer Aniston.

What’s the longest relationship you’ve had?
The one I’m in now.  Going strong for over a year.

Who’s your celebrity crush?
Alciiiiiiiiiiiiiide (Joe Manganiello)

What’s the best pickup line you’ve ever heard?
“If you and I were the last men on earth, I bet we could do it in public.” (I promptly walked away, but it’s still the best.)

What’s the worst pickup line you’ve ever used?
“You’re a lot fatter on TV.”

Which bro code law can never, ever be broken?
ALWAYS have your bro’s back.  Also, never publicly say the word “bro.”

Perfect Hoboken date spot?
Cucharamama on 3rd and Clinton.  It’s dangerous though, because the atmosphere is really romantic, but the food is out of control, so you eat a lot and then feel too fat to get sexy after.

What’s the recipe for a happy relationship?
Communication (number 1), a gym membership (don’t get lazy just because you’re in love), having something to work toward as a couple (a vacation, an apartment, a pet, etc), and knowing that, no matter how tempting it may be, the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence.

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100 comments on “CAROLINE MANZO: Chris Manzo, Albie Manzo, BigGayGreggy… Dating Details… “If Lauren Doesn’t Like” Girlfriend Is Out!

  1. Absolutely sickening, I read it earlier tonight and wanted to puke. Lauren reigns supreme. Guess she gets to go on the honeymoon also. That is a totally dysfunctional family totally. God help them if anything happens to Mommy or Daddy they will all be lost.

    • Lauren is truly a troubled girl, I think. I’m not even trying to be funny. She’s in her early 20s, just lost a bunch of weight, is pretty, has her own business (kinda) and a fiance’ (kinda) and all she can’t think about are her brothers’ girlfriends and if they’re up to HER ( and Chuck’s ) “high” standards. Who Chris and Albie date should be NONE OF HER CONCERN. And I said on another post, I think it’s super weird that she “loves” and becomes ” best friends ” with ” all” of her brothers’ girlfriends. I think she was trying to prove she’s not jealous ( or not like Teresa ) with that little revelation, but I really think it just made her sound ridiculous. I think getting in tight with the girls is all about CONTROL. Sister-in-laws definitely should RESPECT each other and be nice and cordial to one another, but they certainly don’t need to be best friends. In fact, I think I could make an argument that might even not be the best idea. I suppose if it organically happens and everyone is OKAY with it, fine. But something tells me there’s nothing ” organic” about how Lauren gets in so tight with these girls. WEIRD.

    • My sis in law was a lot like Lauren. She was “protective” of her brothers to the point of absolute irritation. She was the only thing we fought about (until his parents pulled their controlling bs). “But let me tell you something…” my husband had no interest in her thoughts about me, comments about me or feelings about me. When his fam adored me and his friends liked me better than her, she got the picture and changed her tune. Lauren will learn that lessn the hard way.

    • You see the reason why they want Chris to concentrate on the business is because Chris Laurita can’t run his scams unless he has family that will back him up. If he tried this with just regular employees he would be outed and in jail a long time ago. Also money and fame helps, look at Alexis Joel. They couldn’t keep there eyes off of her, they knew she was worth hundreds of millions of dollars and they saw rich daughter in law in their eyes.

  2. If Chris and Albie wren’t around their crazy mother, they wouldn’t be so bad. I just want to smack BGG, he is sooo annoying.

    • I agree. Every once in a while when I see some scene with them when they’re NOT around Chuck and/or Lauren, they seem almost normal and just like average 20 something guys.

  3. SH, according to Lapband Lauren, calling her lapband makes her laugh, she is not embarrassed by it, if she was, she wouldn’t have gotten the procedure, SO THERE! TO all those calling her lapband.

  4. Again, why can’t Albie work AND have a relationship at the same time? Oh right – he needs to help the fambly. Albie is entering the latter part of his 20s and god (Chuck) willing, he’ll get married soon. Shouldn’t he be thinking about being able to support a wife and child(ren), having proper house, medical insurance etc. IOW – BECOMING A MAN, as opposed to ” making sure Uncle Chris has a decent business to leave to CJ and NICK” ? – Yes, he said almost exactly THAT like on season 3, I think. He was going to do Uncle Chris proud and make sure CJ and Nick had a ready-made, successful business when they grow up. Huh? What about HIS children? Heck, what about HIM? I’m ALL for family…and helping family…and sticking close to family….and working hard…and I admire the guts of ppl who forge new ground and invent, develop or introduce the public to new products etc, but why do these ppl seem positively ALLERGIC not only to getting a real job ( teacher maybe? firefighter? small restaurant owner? ) but to HAVING THEIR OWN F*CKING LIVES?? Why must they be attached at the hip, work with, socialize with all their siblings and cousins ONLY their whole adult lives? Is getting married and maybe just seeing your family for 2-3 Sunday dinners a month and holidays weird? Am I the only one who thinks it’s odd they they’re ALWAYS together?

    • Hopefully God willing, he will marry someone just like Melissa Gorga, after all, chuckie thinks she’s wonderful. I can’t wait till Albie calls Lapband Lauren “garbage”

      • As long as it’s Albie who does the name-calling and not Lauren, I’m pretty sure Chuck will be OKAY with whatever he says. But something tells me Chris and Albie are going to marry doormats who won’t dare ever assert themselves in the marriage or in the fambly. I just can’t even imagine either one of them getting anywhere near the altar unless the girl(s) are sufficiently submissive to Caroline and Lauren.

        • Caroline might favor her boys now, but if it becomes Lauren against one of her brother’s wives you better believe Don Caro will take Laurens side! How dare this outsider try to break the bond her kids have! They have special bracelets to keep them together forever!!

            • I dont think Mama Gorga has displayed herself to be a control freak like Don Caro. I judge only by what I see on my TV. In my opinion if she were like Don Caro, Mama G and Teresa would have exposed Melissa by now if that were the case.

              • You can tell that Mama Gorga is nothing like Don Caro, because she and her husband discovered that they don’t like to be on reality tv :)

              • I think Mama and papa Gorga have a better relationship than don Caro and Al, so she doesnt have time to meddle. the Gorgas are known to have high sex drives so I am sure the elder Gorgas still having a lot of sexy time! (MP, please insert Barry white “let’s get it on” video)

    • @Guilty: “Again, why can’t Albie work AND have a relationship at the same time?”

      I always wondered the same thing….there’s not a person I know who is his age who doesn’t have both career and relationship….even while in college seeking a master’s or above….

    • Awwwwww- come on guys, give ole stupid a break. We have to remember that he does have a Learning Disability! :-o

  5. Those two Manzo boys are so socially awkward.
    If they can’t balance a love life and work life now, they never will.
    I think a little weight loss, teeth whitening, ear pinning and not hanging around eachother all the time, could actually get them some normal girl attention.
    Also, if members of your family have to approve of the person that you are dating, you aren’t grown up yet.

  6. With Lauren’s constant piss-poor attitude & Christopher giving Lauren the ultimate dating decision making power in his life; she’s well on her way to becoming Chuckie, Number II. I pity Chris and Albie’s future wives. They should run for their lives before signing up for that lifetime of torture.

    • Sometimes the Manzos can’t win no matter what. Albie and Chris get criticized because they are mean to Lauren and don’t care about her; then, when one says Lauren’s opinion is important that get’s criticized. If someone simply is diecast hateful towards them, nothing will change–only further ways to place scorn.

  7. I actually kinda feel sorry for them. It can’t be easy to have to push that Blk water to try and make money for their family. Maybe they feel like they have to make money for their family, as the Lauritas aren’t doing well business wise. It has to be hard to have all that weight on your shoulders, at an age when you are supposed to be making a future for just yourself. I hope they have contracts in place with the family, so that if Blk water DOES make real money, the Lauritas don’t take it all.

      • I still don’t understand why they both bailed on the Brownstone. I know there’s a Class Action lawsuit filed against the place (former employees claiming they were shorted on their pay checks) and there’s even a question as to Albert’s ownership status. There was some speculation that his brother Tommy is the true “owner.” It’s all a bit confusing to me, but if Tommy is the real decision-maker, that could be why he kicked-out his lazy-ass niece and nephews, and why Caroline isn’t speaking to Dina. It does seem that Caroline ended that relationship with her sister at the same time that her kids left the Brownstone. Who knows?

  8. Only thing I got is GAG they make me sick! Albie isn’t in a relationship because his momma said no! Chris just look at him explains why. Greg who the hell cares, again someone tell me why he is on the show that isn’t about him!

    • So much about Don Caro sounds so Don Teresa and Don Mama, as they did cause havoc in previous relationships–their controlling ways, especially Don Teresa, and her obsession with brother Joe is the main reason Joe Giudice dumped Teresa at one point, only going back when she chased him (all according to Joe Giudice himself). Joe Gorga got to the point that enough was enough, and that is the real source of all the problems–he has a family, a wife and children, so Teresa, stop the hate game against his wife which effects their children–and yours as well as they pick up on your hate game against Melissa. Give Joe and Melissa’s children the same amount of love and attention you demand he give to yours, and which he has shown unlike any reciprocation from you. You haven’t come close to it yet as you are still egomaniacal about it being only about you and what you want.

      • This post is about Caroline and her kids. Why is Teresa being brought up? Why the constant comparison from Teresa haters?

        • ???This was under leaving the kids out of it section, which I agree with, but, for their sake, the parents need to stop giving permission to misuse them and that is the section I posted on. I am not a Teresa hater but a child protection lover, so they come first, not Teresa’s feelings or her fans avoiding the truth. But, how it got under this topic, I don’t know.

          • You might have had more than 1 window opened and posted on wrong one. There are tons of kids on TV, but no one picks on them. Kyle Richard’s 12 year old daughter is on twitter, not one word from anyone about that. I blame bravo for choosing the scenes they do for the Giudice kids. I personally would never go on a reality show myself, nor would I have my child on, but that is my personal decision and do not judge others for theirs. You also cant generalize Teresa supports for defending her. When I defend something Teresa does, I truly believe it. I will always admit when she is wrong. I do not think Teresa treats her brother’s kids as good as she should.

      • When my nephew was born he was the first grandchild. I was single and spent a lot of time at my sisters and of course with him. We were very close. I took him everywhere and babysat all the time, When I married and had children I in no way doubted my Sister loved my children or expect her to spend the time and energy on my children I did hers. We were both married and had children and circumstances had changed. It’s called life. Joey and Teresa need to see the big picture instead of getting lost in the details. This tit for tat thing is ridiculous to watch and even worse to think it’s their day to day lives.

      • Awesome post, only one problem. . . the only obsessive behavior is towards Teresa not by Teresa. Furthermore, her idiot brother can’t even articulate if he feels the problem is Teresa or Joe. He initially said it was Teresa (that’s why he suggested therapy with Teresa) and he repeated to Juicy at the famous sit down at Chris Laurita’s house that it was Teresa. NOW, he says it’s Juicy. Well, if idiot umpa lumpa thought it was Juicy why did he suggest therapy with Teresa. JACKHOLE! But thanks for your analysis. Someone has to defend the indefensible.

  9. I have to admit, even though I can’t stand bitchy greg, I like his answer for “What’s the recipe for a happy relationship”

    • I love that he said “a gym membership (don’t get lazy just because you’re in love)” That’s me all the way

    • Greggy’s recipe for a happy relationship is inserting a sprinkle cookie up his backside just below his “#1 Manwhore in New York” tattoo prior to hitting the steam rooms.

  10. the best line greg had was when albie said he brought this girl home because she wasn’t feeling well. greg asked him if he was clara barton on the field taking care of the ill, or something like that. it just cracked me up. i really see albie as being his own man. caroline was the one who said she worried about him getting into a relationship now. he seems to be torn between his new g/f and his work, although i agree he can have both. i think albie is more on the serious side, and i don’t think he would care what his sister or mother says about his g/f. chris is more outgoing and funny and little more on the immature side. one thing i would suggest is that he lose weight. as for all 3 children, where are the kids they went to school with? you never see them with friends. this is not natural for people their age. didn’t caroline marry al young? hadn’t his father just died (read: been murdered) and he had to take over the business? why was it ok for her, but not her children? what is happening with lauren and her boyfriend? are they going to get married? what does he do for a living? what happens to the lapband if she gets pregnant?

    off topic, but biggest question of all – why are caroline and dina not talking? anyone know?

      • Maybe they are too selfish to share the spotlight with their friends like they were with Kim G and keep them away from filming or maybe they lost all their friends due to fame going to their head. Only friends I see is Greg, the producers and their own cousins. Who yells at their own uncle on tweeter because he was excited that his wedding episode was playing and he was getting attention? Someone jealous that jaime’s wedding was getting so much love from the viewers. I am sure him reminding neutral pissed them off big time! Ashley wasn’t allowed to be liked on the show because the Manzo wouldnt let her be.

  11. Why is Greg always referred to as “GAY”? Why does it matter?

    SH, I know this is your site to do as you please, but it just seems a little odd that Greg’s always referred to by who he chooses to love or be loved by.

    • Those of us at SH don’t define Greg by his sexuality, Bravoand Ms.Andy do. By calling him BGG we are mocking the fact that all we really know about him is that he is a giant gay man who is deeply in love with the camera. And what do we know about Rosie? Yep just that she is gay. And what do we know about Ms Lawrence and Dwight? Hmmm that they are gay.Pretty much every single gay person on Bravo is a total stereotype. Fernanda was probably the only gay person who didn’t last and that is because she didnt define herself by her sexuality and in Andy’s world you must be gay with big capital glittery letters. If Bravo was the only access someone had to members of the lgbt community then they would think every gay man in Atlanta was a hairstylist who pranced around in high heels and full makep while requesting to be called Ms. Excuse me, demanding to be call Ms with two finger snaps and a hair toss. A person’s sexuality and who they love should not matter and Andy does a great disservice to the lgbt community by dealing in nothing but stereotypes. For instance when I think of my brother I think of him as a smart, funny, grad student who works two jobs to take care of his partner and my niece. And he just happens to be gay and I just happen to be straight.neither of us are defined by our sexuality.m But Bravo has gotten so damn stereotypical I envision a future season of Rhonj with Lauren going into labor and Big Gay Greg screaming out in a panic ,” Lawdy Ms.Caroline I don’t know nothing bout birthing no babies.” Followed by a tcc moment where he reminds that he does know how to “work it.”

    • TO: I won’t touch the “chooses” thing–but BGG and Mandy have thrown BGG’s gayness in our faces. BGG goes to and is filmed/taped/dv’ed at gay clubs with MeGo and JoGo and others for the show. He has been on stage with JoGo introducing a stripper while the club dj throws f-bombs which BGG nor Mandy has denounced while Mandy demands apologies from Juicy for his transgressions against gay-dom. The hypocrisy is palpable (look that up Heather!!).

      Besides, I always thought he was BGG because he’s always so happy–y’know as in “We’ll have a gay old time.” Are the Flintstones in rotation anywhere–I wonder if they changed that lyric??

  12. Total misfits…wandering aimlessly. They MUST be kidding with the blk product. I wouldn’t sink a penny into that business. It is going nowhere fast. They should go get jobs and work for a living like the rest of society.

  13. Did you notice none of them mentioned religion or God anywhere in their relationship answers? A little strange. I feel bad for the Manzo boys that their work is top priority (especially seeing as their work is a big joke) – definitely not good parenting on Chuckie’s part. I find it all sad.

      • This bunch are nothing more then Sunday Catholics
        They only go to Church when someone is married,buried or baptized
        can you see any of the ladies going to Mass wearing their labia peeping dresses and the guys with their morning boners What would the Priest say.

  14. Albie has a LEARNING disability…….he can only do one small task at a time. He’s in his late 20s and he still has to report every little things back to mommy..so sad.

    • You’d think with today’s advanced technology, the Seed of Chucky could report directly through their umbilical cords. Kinda like broadband.

  15. Perhaps Greg came to the show to make the Manzo brothers more entertaining. He’s like that character “Cousin Oliver” from The Brady Bunch.

  16. I’m still boggled by Don Caro saying that Albie “isn’t ready” to balance a serious relationship and working at blk at the same time, and thinking that he needs to focus on blk- news to Caroline: all men in a relationship need to balance relationships and work. Albie isn’t a 22 year old just out of college, finally having his first official job- he’s 26. He should be mature enough to handle a relationship and work.

    • I agree I had my daughter at 25, continued climbing up the corporate ladder and managed to find the balance. Though I do I have an awesome mom who helped as well.

  17. I would feel sorry for these two hen pecked mama’s boys if they weren’t such d*ck heads. Maybe if Big Al hadn’t been all the time on the sneaktip in his apartment at the Brownstone and had spent more time teaching these two how to be men, they wouldn’t be such p*ssy whipped titty babies. They won’t even be free of Chuckie’s control when she dies ‘cuz Chuckie Jr. will be right there to fill her clown shoes.

  18. To call these “families” Disfunctional” is an understatement! Truly, loving and good parents, teach their children to make good decisions as they are raising them. They support their childrens success and when they fall, they teach them to get back up and how to avoid the same mistakes in the future. Truly strong and loving parents know how to let go and allow their kids to fly on their own while always being there to support them as needed. Mama Manzoid and Looser Lauren do not seem to get this! These two nasty wenches insist on being in every part of each others lives, and the lives of everyone around them, all the time! This is so unhealthy! It seems that these women wedge themselves in to even the most private relationships of each other and call it “Family Closeness”. WRONG! It is Nothing More than Control and living as they do will only cause strife and heartache for all concerned. At the rate these people are going, none of them can ever even hope to have a happy healthy marriage, not to mention a successful professional life! Sick, Sick, Sick!!

  19. Maybe if Uncle Chris Laurita goes to jail, the Manzo boys can get real jobs on their own. And their own girlfriends. If Uncle Chris is indicted for bankruptcy fruad and convicted, I don’t think any business insurance company will carry him on his policy (professional liability, errors and omissions, theft). And supposedly Uncle Chris runs blk.

    Just giving the Manzo boys some hope of a real AMERICAN life.

  20. Doesn’t anyone else think that Critterfur is the gay one? We’ve never seen him with a girl and remember his BFF, Kim G’s son? Now that kid is gay for sure.

    • Well it’s possible. I am thinking he HAS read 50 Shades of Grey. I can sorta tell when someone has read it when they use phrasing like “Not. right. now.” with the periods between each word. Seems to me that we see a lot more of that lil writing technique after the book blew up and everyone read it.

    • Crittofer made my gaydar go up for the following reason. When Joe Guidice made that loose butthole “joke” on the bus, Caroline started rubbing his neck over and over as if to console him like his partner was attacked. That is my theory and I’m sticking to it.

      • Also on Greg’s B/D when Greg did a body shot off of JoGo Chris made a comment about how JoGo is the type Greg goes for the Italian Gorilla type. The way he said it made me think that he was envious of JoGo and sad that he wasn’t built like him. Have had that feeling about Chris for awhile now.

  21. I have an idea. Maybe you could go to COLLEGE. You know, instead of all these get rich quick schemes. But then I am not a “child of priviledge” so what do I know?

  22. Why does Albie keep saying that “alot of people don’t understand” love taking a back seat to work? Does he think we all sit around texting all day instead of working. Albie, when you get a real job….everything takes a back seat. Because you need that job to put food on your family’s table….does he think he’s the only one who ever said “I don’t have time for a relationship”? What do I expect from a kid whose role models hang out with their wives all day?

    • Something is off about her face. Her right eye is kinda squinty and wonky jus’ like Miss Andy!

  23. i’ve been reading this blog for a while and this is my first time i felt compelled to comment. when i see albie, chris, and lauren all i see are three 20 somethings with zero self-esteem. i believe that they have been taught that they can not succeed at anything without their family. i also believe that caroline has helped her children to a fault and they have no clue how to deal with the real world. i am by no means a perfect person and i (27) am also not much older than albie yet i was able to manage without my dad’s constant meddling. i’ve managed to have a job, get married, have two girls and not fall apart at the seams like his mother has brainwashed them into thinking. i also believe that chris would do much better in the armed services and he would develop a healthy sense of self instead of being a guy who sits on the couch all day(his words not mine). also, if vito truly loved lauren he would move her as far away from her mother as they could possibly get.

      • You are so right, they are adults and their mother has them tied to the umbilical cord yet. She doesn’t allow them to grow. They have to get the balls to get up and get away from her but they can’t because they have no where to go.

        • Yeah I have a term for this, its called psychological abuse by proxy. Certain mothers LOOOOVE to emotionally and mentally cripple their own kids just so they feel needed. Its a sickness. Some of them even cash in the sympathy chips with an occasional “What I am gonna do with these youngins? they are driving me crazy” Playing the poor put-upon martyr to the hilt. Carolyn throws a smidgen of that in there very subtly with her “we are family and family helps family as long as I am able ….” stuff. basically inviting offspring failure because she feeds off it. I’m tellin yall its a sickness.

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