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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK RECAP: Season Five, Episode Nine… Dirty ‘Ol Dad

REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK RECAP

Season Five Episode Nine… “Dirty ‘Ol Dad”

by Sandi Duffy

The episode opens with a really boring scene of Carole on the phone with her sister-in-law/editor.  We learn it’s taken her four years to write this book.  What the hell is she writing, War and Peace?

            Carole Radziwill… “It took four years to write my book because I limit myself to 20 words every two weeks!  It’s a tiny book…”

Then Carole calls Aviva to find out what the weather is like in Miami.  I guess she’s never heard of the Weather Channel.  She used to work for NBC news, couldn’t she just call Al Roker directly?

                     Sonja Morgan… “I wanna stay in bed… do I haveta go all the way to Miami to be accosted by Aviva’s father??  Why can’t he come here?

When Sonja and Carole arrive in Miami, Carole tells her they are going to her jewelry designer friend’s house to do “ face yoga”.  I’ve been doing yoga for 20 years and never heard of face yoga.  She says her friend does it all the time and looks great.  I’m sure, restylane, botox and a face lift have had nothing to do with it.

 “I been doin’ face yoga for 30 years… I do my yoga under anesthesia…”

All the ladies arrive at face yoga lady’s house (I can’t even attempt to spell her name).  Ramona calls where the woman lives an up-and-coming neighborhood.  Yeah, that’s what her penthouse with the amazing views is–re-gentrified.

Aviva is having an anxiety attack about being at the rooftop pool.  Then she claims she doesn’t like to bring attention to her prosthtetic leg.  I’ve counted her mentioning it 200 times this season.

                                                                        Heather Mills had Aviva’s swimming leg!!

The jewelry woman shows everyone the face yoga exercises and Ramona TTCs what I’m thinking.  This is ridiculous.

Carole and Aviva look anorexic in their bikinis.  Ramona obsesses over Aviva’s fake leg getting wet.  It’s really weird.

Ramona and Sonja are the guests from hell.  Sonja broke the shower handle in Aviva’s condo.   They are late getting ready for dinner.  They leave their hostess, Aviva out of their reindeer games.  And Sonja walks around in a towel in front of Mario and Reed.

Carole comes over for dinner and then Aviva’s perverted dad shows up.  Carole needs to thank her maker Aviva chose to fix him up with Sonja and not her.  You dodged a bullet, Carole.

I thought last night’s episode of RHONJ made me lose my  dinner, but watching an 80-year-old man simulate cunninglingus with his tongue hit an all-time Bravo low (ha, spell check is telling me I spelled cunninglingus wrong; I guess that word isn‘t in Microsoft word‘s dictionary).

Sonja seems to  actually be into Aviva’s dad.  So….Sonja has slept with Aviva’s ex-husband , Harry and probably will sleep with Aviva’s father.  Ramona gets all bent out of shape because there is talk of Harry.  I would understand if it made Aviva uncomfortable, but why the hell does Ramona have her panties in a bunch.? Aviva’s husband looks mortified.

THEN Ramona goes into Aviva’s kitchen insisting to the staff that they go right to entrees and vegetable.  Ramona is the rudest houseguest I have ever met in my life.

Aviva tells everyone that her father cheated on his 35-year-old girlfriend with a  22-year-old.  I don’t think that was necessarily appropriate dinner conversation and Ramona states that he was married for along time to Aviva’s mother and wasn’t ready for a real relationship and then admonishes Aviva for bringing it up.  While I kind of agree with Ramona’s take on the situation, it wasn’t her place to say anything.

The next day everyone goes to the beach and when Aviva takes her cover-up off, her father states, “Wow!”  I can only hope that is Bravo editing, but I’m not so sure.  Then her dad tells Sonja she has a great ass and  that he could make her come five times.  This guy is disgusting.  Is he vying for his own Bravo show?  Sonja shoots him down, so then he tells Ramona she has a great ass.  He already used that line on someone else, Ramona.  I don’t know why the shit coming out of Aviva’s father’s mouth is supposed to be cute and funny because he’s 80, but if it came out of the mouth of a man half his age, he’d get, deservedly, slapped across the face.

We also learn that no only does Aviva have a flat shoe leg and a high heel leg, but she also has a swim leg.  That’s what happens when you are rich and lose our leg.  I really don’t think Aviva’s experience is the same as everyone else who has lost a limb.  I don’t think veterans from the war in Afghanistan have a spare “swim limb”.

  “HOLLA!!!”

I kind of forgot Heather existed until her and her husband showed up in a completely unrelated scene.  I think Heather was once a man.  It’s just a theory.

It’s everyone’s last night in Miami and apparently Aviva’s dad took his Viagra because he pokes Sonja with his erection.  I think the man is one step away from being a rapist.  He can’t take no for an answer.

 Sonja Morgan… “Get your crypt keeper hands offfa me!!! “

Carole is back in New York and shopping with Luann.  I hope this means we are done with Aviva’s father because I think I’ve had all I can take of that man.  Carole claims she wanted to stay in Miami longer, but had to come back to “work”.  We all know Carole doesn’t really work.  Taking four years to write one book is not working.  I mean unless you’re J.D. Salinger.  Carole confronts Luann about Luann asking to borrow a dress from Carole’s designer friend.  Luann talks around it and acts like she didn’t do anything wrong.  I can’t stand Luann, so I’m totally team Carole on this one.

 

 LuAnn de Lesseps… “OH!  No production money in this shop?  I didn’t like these sunglasses anyway…”

Shit, we are back to Miami and Aviva’s dad.  Aviva asks Sonja how to handle Ramona when she gets overbearing.

George… “So what, I’m a sex addict!  Would you rather I be a Hoarder??”

Sonja gives her good advice on how to handle the Ramonster.  So far, Aviva has asked for help from Carole and Sonja on handling Ramona.  Aviva is a grown ass woman and she can’t handle this herself.

 Ramona Singer… “Why can’t Aviva pick another Housewife for her Bravetrichedosis… fear of Housewives…”

Is Ramona going to be added to Aviva’s long list of fears:  heights, elevators, flying, end of days and Ramona.

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56 comments on “REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK RECAP: Season Five, Episode Nine… Dirty ‘Ol Dad

  1. Aviva’s father is the most disgusting old man I have ever witnessed. Even Sonja wanted nothing to do with that pervert. I find it hard to believe that Aviva would ever let anybody know this dirty mouthed man was her “daddy”.

  2. I don’t know what Bravo is trying to proves with th Aviva and her Dad storyline. It’s disgusting and gross with absolutely no redeeming entertainment value.

    I’ve taken 60 years to NEVER write a book, so Carole taking 4 years to write one is not a problem for me.

    • I would hope that the whole thing was fake, that a 60 + year old man talking to a relative stranger about squirting orgasms and showing off his boner would be at the very least impolite, but what do I know?

  3. I can’t stand Ramona anymore, she was barely tolerable in the past but the fact that I Hated Jill Zarin left me cheering for Ramona in a listless limp ‘hip-hip mehhh….r-ay’ way. Without JZ, the ‘hip-hip’ is all gone, just left with the mehh.

  4. Very funny Recap. Poor Aviva had to grow up without a leg and with perv father. She seems to think he’s normal. Ewe. I would be mortified. Carole R is cool but I think she belongs on a different show. The Countless is a bore. Ramona is great fun. The group kook. Every show needs one.

  5. Yoga exercises for the face have always been around, but right now several exercises have been packaged to be a part of an anti wrinkle regime. I don’t understand why Ramona was so uncomfortable in the pool during Ranjana’s demonstration. Everybody in the cast has to constantly hear her promote her product line(s), including her boxed wine and algae cream.

      • OMG not everybody can be as fabulous as this golden encrusted beauty, but face exercises can help. I just don’t get why Ramona can’t handle someone else controlling the situation or acts like she isn’t familiar. She does the .44 second face so well.

  6. Thought was sooo funny….especially for a very boring RHONY series.. cracked me up but glad he’s not my papa.LMAO could of never had slumber parties growing up LMAO

  7. Usually I like Sonja but I have to admit…her overt sexiness is getting to be too much.Your a parent-cover the behind.As far as Avivas dad-that scene was just sick, the only thing he needs now is a fur coat and a pimp cup.

    • did make the show a lilfunny tho lmao! wouldn’t want him at my family reunion, but made the show have some humor.. when mario spit out his drink—hilarious.. but not squirt guns for my kids for days..icky gross thoughts lol

    • it’s getting much as well as OLD! was glad to just laugh.. He is just sick but isn’t around my kids or family, so found it funny… RHONY just stinks now absolutley not becuz Jill is gone- that helped them survive another season LoL… found it pverplayed, perveted, but in a sense refreashing!

      • If thats all they have for entertainment then ITA.I too miss the overbearing but never boring Jill.

    • I find it funny that Sonja pretty much talks to young men the same way Aviva\’s father was speaking to her. In fact Sonja has creeped me out quite a few times with the way she is around younger men, As for *shudder* Ramonazilla, she needs meds ASAP!!!!! There are so many times I have seen her in the past and in this past season say things and then appear to be shocked that someone repeats back to her what she said, and then of course DENY that she would ever say that!!!! Does the woman not listen to the crap coming out of her mouth? To quote one of the best line to come out of the Real Housewives franchise \” Is your a** jealous of the s**t that comes out of your mouth\”?

  8. George is an old perverted buzzard.Hope he was not that bad when his wife was alive or else he had plenty of FWB’s to satisfy him.Creepy!!

  9. Ew, grody to the max! Does Aviva’s dad have a gross quota to hit per day? Is that his thing? That nasty throw himself at women inappropriately can’t possibly work… ew! Surely he doesn’t do that all the time. He does, doesn’t he? Barf

  10. was gross but u can tell his daughter encouraged it and was played up or else she would not od invited him… took it as a laugh break.. the funny jokes u would kill ur family if they ever did.. but she knows him and has him go on camera. sooo not reality tv- nut funny.. if my dad was a perv- would never try to set up with a cast member and expose family, but in the end was funny

  11. I think it made it clear that Sonja’s a PHONY about her constant sexiness. Her pouty mouth, her sexual innuendos, her lack of panties (showing her ass at her costume party)……….. and her braggery about sex made it all seem fake tonight. All of a sudden she’s innocent and naive? She made kink sound like the furtherst thing from her normalcy, meanwhile she tries so hard to come across as the most sexually advanced, willing HW.

    I had a father-in-law who was a lot like Aviva’s dad. I know…….. embarassing and strange. I kept my babies in constant check while near him!! He flirted with me like that when I was just 19. Just sick. But these people exist and the rest of the family laughs it off. Me? I tried to keep my family and friends farrrrrrrrrrrrrrr away from my ex’s family!!!

      • Ya just can’t tell if this is another BravHo scripted stunt, but if it is real, I’d keep far away from him.

      • Yeah surely he is harmless. It would be waaaay too heavy for Bravo to bring out a pedophilia daddy of a girl that only had one leg since she was a kid.
        Reminds me of this joke:
        Q: What do you call a 13 year old girl from Kentucky who can run faster than her six brothers?
        A: A virgin.
        Poor Avevia wouldn’t have had a leg up on any predators runnin after her. Or maybe she WOULD have had a leg up if she used her fake one to pole vault her way out of danger.
        Avivia,
        I promised you that I would work with you on toughening up your skin. So here’s your assignment for the day. Turn you computer speakers up and sing along

        Love,
        Made

  12. I felt sorry at first that Aviva had such a pervert for a father but then why would she allow him to be filmed if she did not find him “amusing”? Note to Aviva: he isn’t in the least.

    Showcasing a lecherous old man and permitting him to overwhelm the conversation with every sexual reference in his repetoirre was cringe worthy. But he fits right in with the Bravo mission statement: the demeaning of women.

    However, it was a toss up as to who was more repellent: Ramona or George with Ramona running neck to neck with this disgusting old man. Did she and Sonja need to take a shower together? Did she really need to go out to the kitchen and “demand” the servers to do her bidding? Does she really think that outrageous bathing suit made her look good? Come on!

    Carole, sad to say, is beginning to annoy me. What’s with that jumping on a person and wrapping her legs around them in greeting? Ridiculous. And don’t try walking up that staircase if you have had one too many drinks if you value your life. Stupid.

    The only good thing about this episode is that it only had a few minutes of LuAnn and Heather. Thank god for small favors.

    And after 5 unrelenting seasons, Ramona is getting worse. An absolute nutjob.

    • Perfectly stated! You sumed it up for me. I really miss the old RHONY it WAS my favorite franchise, no more.

    • Pat, you stated everything spot on. And didn’t Aviva even say in one of her commentaries (I can’t think what you call those) that she found her Daddy amusing? All of these RH shows have jumped the shark, and Andy Cohen is disgusting. Every week, I tell myself, no more. Also, Carole is just a boor. She is very self-aware (an anomaly amongst these housewives), and definitely buys her own PR.

  13. wow… dont post often on HW stuff- which is a lotta stuff and have noticed it cuta deep nd personal with some.. just thought it was kinda funny to see sexy Sonja get silenced, but if he is a REAL freak- I say CUT his balls off! LoL…Sorry if I offended anyone.. nite= remember we all ave something 2gether- we watch or tolerate still watching the HW.. no offense..

  14. OMG, I can’t believe I just saw Ramona’s lips. Not the ones on her face. #FML

    That was the most akward dinner party ever. Aviva’s dad is such a disgusting pig. I wonder how many friends of hers he pushed himself on when she was a kid. How I long for the days of Jill’s disco pad and Simon’s wardrobe.

    Luann’s Santa coat is killing me.

    As Jacko would say “I’m confused. Heheh. I’m just confused”.

  15. Aviva’s dad is just a dirty old Man I’ve seen worse just the night before.. Ritchie Wakilie…IMO Aviva’s style is on point love her swim suites and cover ups… She has style… Ramona, Ramona, Ramona… Where do I begin can she be more insulting wow ur a guest for gawds sake I see why Heather wanted no part of her in London she is ridiculous, Ramona really needs a filter for her mouth.. Sonja need to stop making excuses for Ramona’s Disrespectful behavior.. LuAnn is rubbing Carole the wrong way but Carole needs to stop being so sensitive w/everything Luann does its not that serious Princess Carole…

  16. I fekt like a 11 year old watching the kissing scenes! “Covered my eyes saying, Eeeewww, Gross! Just tell me when its over.”

  17. Quite honestly, I do not know who was worse tonight, Ramona or George. George was Crude, Rediculous and not in the least bit sexy. He is an embarrasment to himself and anyone he comes in contact with. I feel badly for Aviva and Reid, having to deal with his behavior.
    Ramona was Rude and completely obnoxious. Did anyone else notice how Ramona kept trying to get the attention of George? She kept rubbing up against him and flipping her hair and overtly drawing attention to herself. Clearly she is so desparate that she even needed the attention of George! Ramona has to be in charge and the center of attention at all times. She is exhausting and too annoying for words! And yes, Ramona’s swim suit was just plain ugly! LOL!!

  18. Ramona is so tiring. She really needs to be put on some meds to shut up and calm down.

    George is so disgusting and embarrassing. I bet Aviva just tunes him out. Dear George: women don’t want to hear about your ancient old man boner. :shudder:

  19. George was and is disgusting! Would never want him around my kids.. But geez was funny to see Sonja get it from him…Obviously Aviva knows who and how her father is and tried the setup..thought it was kinda funny! Cracked meup when mario spit out his drink… was kinda funny

  20. Romona is a worthless piece of crap. Please forgive me for my rant today, but her constant harassing of Aviva has got me sick. She made the same stupid remarks to Jill about her niece I think it was last season. She’s not trying to “protect”her as Sonya said, she’s an ignorant piece of crap that has no feelings toward anyone who isn;t PERFECT…maybe she should visit a VA hospital and talk with the men and woman who lost their limbs fighting for her freedom, or if an accident left someone dear to her without a limb. I woke up today actually crying over her stupid remarks that are constanst on the show. I know this is just a tv show, but this really hit a sore spot for me. Again sorry for the rant, just so upset…..

    • Scooter, I’m glad for your rant. You are so right! There is a bigger picture here and Bravo has missed it! Shame on them! I would say shame on Ramona too but she obviously has no shame considering the bathing suit she had on last night!

  21. Aviva’s Dad is just plain creepy. I bet he puts those false teeth of his in a jar on the nightstand before he goes to bed.

    I used to really like Ramona, but she’s getting on my nerves. What a rude, selfish houseguest. And if Aviva wants to get her leg wet, that’s her business!! And ITA about Ramona’s blue bathing suit, but I thought Aviva looked incredible in hers.

  22. These men that act like Wheorge are so out of touch with reality ~ it’s very creepy, and since they got their skeevy hands on Viagra come on with more (false) confidence. They are a still mentally like high school boys and are fixated on their joystick. NOTE to these guys ~ stop posting d*ck
    pics!!!!!!! Abs, too.

  23. Is anybody else under the impression that Ramona is on drugs?
    And I’m not talking about Carole-style drugs of a certain innocence; I think Ramona is constantly on coke, or worse. Her behaviour is far too outrageous for a loud person who just drinks wine….

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