REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP
Season Four Episode Twelve… ”The Jersey Side Step” by Sandi Duffy
This episode opens up with Melissa and Gia getting ready for Beatstock. Melissa makes the understatement of the century…stating that she’s not the best singer in the world.
Kathy is making desserts and trying to sell them to some gelato shop in her old neighborhood. Did I miss something? When did this happen? This show is just becoming a big huge commercial for all their crappy products and talents, although in all fairness, Kathy’s desserts look really good.
The Laurita’s/Manzo’s are showing off their BLK marketing booth for the Fancy Foods show in DC, where Al is premiering the Brownstone sauce. When did the Brownstone market sauce? I live in NJ. I’ve never seen it. I’ve been to events at the Brownstone (and the food was good). I’m not sure Caroline being the model for the sauce is the best idea. Even Albie makes fun of her. I’m sure he paid the price for that later.
Melissa and Joe are at their shore house. Why do all Melissa’s bathing suits look like stripper costumes? And who wears 5 inch heels with their bathing suit, outside of a beauty pageant.
Chris Laurita, Albie, Chris, Greggy and some other dudes I don’t recognize all road trip in a BLK van to DC. Oh wait, it’s Chris’s best friend and cousin added to the BLK crew. Has anyone seen BLK water in any stores? I haven’t.
Watching Chris and Greggy take the “Shane” challenge at some burger place, where they have to eat 2 double cheeseburgers with a fried egg and scrapple and two pound of fries is making me sick.
I just threw up in my mouth watching Joe Gorga kiss Melissa’s feet. I would rather reach down my throat and remove my own kidney than ever see that again. Hell, I’d rather see Kathy and Richie make out again than see that.
The way they talk about how much they love each other and how much sex they have and how perfect their marriage is makes me think exactly the opposite. Their divorce is as inevitable as Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise.
The boys arrive in DC and start drinking Vodka at the Russia Bar after Chris gives them a speech about not drinking too much.
Albie TTCs that he is not interested in having a girlfriend because he is so busy with “work”…and because he is already dating his mommy. Ok, he didn’t say that part, that was all me.
Chris goes to the bathroom to puke. And we get to listen to it. Because that’s a sound we all want to hear.
Milania announces to the viewing public that “Daddy sleeps in his own room.” Interesting.
Gia announces that Melissa will probably lipsynch at Beatstock. Gia is no dummy. Melissa has a stylist and make-up artist. Melissa should fire them both.
Gia imitating Melissa singing is hilarious. And for the record, Gia is much better.
At the Fancy Food show, Patti LaBelle is there. How the hell can Albie not know who Patti LaBelle is? That’s just friggin’ ignorant. The woman is an icon. Greggy pushes that gross BLK water on her.
Part of me is thrilled to see Patti LaBelle because I love her, but part of me is upset because what the hell is she doing on this show? She doesn’t need this for publicity. She’s Patti friggin’ LaBelle.
Back to Beatstock. I know why they call it Beatstock…because it’s beat.
We get to see more Chris Judd, who is kind of looking like he ate the Chris Judd who married J-Lo.
First we get to see Gia as a backup dancer.
Then, the moment we’ve all been waiting for…………NOT. Melissa lipsynching her song. She even sucks at lipsynching. You can totally tell she’s not singing live. I’m wondering if Beatstock is like Ozzfest or Lollapalooza, where there’s a main stage where the real acts perform and then a second stage where people no one cares about perform because if that’s the case guess where I’m betting Melissa performed?
Albie says, again, he would pick BLK over his girlfriend. Yes, I’d pick being sued over getting laid, too.
I’ve come to the conclusion that Melissa needs to grow some bangs to cover her five-head.
Melissa and Teresa talk about their upcoming trip to Napa. I’m sure that’s going to go real well. Even if Bravo were paying for my trip, I wouldn’t go away with people I don’t get along with. It’s not worth the free vacation, Teresa!
Al Manzo is the only smart one in the group. He refuses to go to the pre-Napa vacation meeting that Chris is holding with all the men. I also loved Al’s comment last year in Punt Cana when he said, “Hell without you people would be a better vacation.” Or something to that effect.
Preview of next week’s Real Housewives of New Jersey…
If Lindsey stays with him ( and his family ) she’s an idiot. Harsh, but true.
I agree. Any guy that says work and family will always come before you is an ass or he just doesn’t love you.
Why would he have to choose??I do not understand that statement. His family was encouraging him not to be in a relationship. He is 26. He is supposed to wait until he is 50 to have a girlfriend? I don’t get it. Everyone works and has realtionships. He is spineless for listening to them. The girl is better off without him.
I don’t think Chuckie wants him to put any other woman’s happiness before hers.
Yep, she wants to keep Prince Albie all to herself! It’s twisted and sad.
Anyone else think Chuckie was projecting her feelings about prince Albie’s relationship onto T’s relationship with her brother? “She wont stop till they’re divorced” etc etc… Don’t mistake what I’m saying to agree with Chuckie, I actually think T would have been tickled pink for her brother to actually marry someone that she could stomach being that she never had a sister and seems to be a girly girl.
I know, right? People balance work and love all the time- and Don Caro’s telling us that twenty six year old Albie isn’t able to balance that? And Albie doesn’t have a twelve-hour a day job where he’s working his ass off; he’s working for for his uncle promoting a brand of water. I think Albie has the mental capacity to balance a job (That isn’t made up of blood, sweat and tears) AND a girlfriend.
Any cheerleader for a professional football team can do A LOT better than the Manzo spawn.
By saying things like that, she makes it sound like her sons cannot handle everyday life situations. I wonder if she realizes that her words are painting a picture to the audience of her sons being differently-abled than most men their age.
On some deep level, I bet she wants to do that. The less successful they are on their own, the likelier they are to never be able to leave her.
L-O-effin-L @ differently-abled
Here’s an idea: the time he uses for taping this show, he could use for a relationship.
Or she has already dumped him, and he’s covering his ass, or heart… Mom must be so proud of him..
” I would rather reach down my throat and remove my own kidney than ever see that again. Hell, I’d rather see Kathy and Richie make out again than see that.” I WILL TAKE THE FORMER
When Albie said that about always choosing his family over a girlfriend, it was sad. So if the girlfriend is someone you truly love and want to marry, you are still going to dump her if Chuckie says so? Who would want to date that? What if he ever marries, is Momma always gonna be #1 no matter what?
My thought is that the day will come when he resents the crap outta mama and finally becomes a man. There can only be so many times he turns down being happy for her.
Gwenny – I TOTALLY AGREE. I don’t think it’s a foregone conclusion that Albie will buck Caroline someday, but I think it’s more likely than not and when it happens, Chuck’s head is going to spin off. I keep saying Albie and Chris just don’t realize NOW how miserable their marriages and lives are going to be 15 yrs down the road due to Caroline and how they were raised to put ” the fambly ” first in every situation. If ether one of them marry women who possess an ounce of backbone, they’re going to get tired of Caroline and Lauren right quick and it WILL cause problems.
As a mother, and mother in law.. You take second place.. No matter if you’re right… You back off.. We have done our job, and hopefully you did ok.. And maybe, the mistakes you have made, are used as a correction in their lives.. Carlo is a sorry excuse for a mother.. And her kids are for the worse because of it.
Also Prince Albie said grinning like an idiot that Lauren is the one the girl has to impress. Why is that???? It is none of Lauren’s business. Lauren also is weird for trying so hard to be best freinds with the girl. So inappropriate. She is such a loser. Sh is suffocating. How does Albie stand it???If they were married, that would be nice, but until then she should back off. Albie is too weak to realize he is bossed around by his mom and sister. I bet Lauren tells Caroline all the dirt that the girl tells her.
Hims gonna end up being just like that hen pecked feller on Mamma’s Family
MP: OMG! Too funny! Loved that show!! TFC!! SH
Me too. I’m gonna see if I can find it on re-runs and take to watching it again
Did you happen to catch the movie by David Masel’s daughter Wild Blue Yonder? It was on the other day.
Ahhh… the famous brownstone sauce came out on this episode. Don Caro calls is Mah-REEEEEE-Nar-RAAAAAHH b/c that’s the way real eye-talians say it….
Three jars for the bargain price of $23.97. Are they kidding???
Seriously — they can shove that and their BLK up their butts!
No joke! Id take Tres home made sauce over that crap any day. That was one of my fav episodes when tre & her girls were making sauce w/ her parents & Tres dad asked the friend if she was on her period bc if so she would spoil the sauce. Bring that stuff back BRAVO.
One of my favorite episodes too! A family working together and having fun. Is it just me, or does that bottle of Brownstone marinara sauce look like it has an inch of grease or oil floating on the top?
@Bergen County: Oh wow, I literally JUST left a comment on the other article about the sauce and how overpriced the Nanina’s sauce was @ $6.99/bottle, 3/23.97 is worse! They need the price point under $5 to convince any other NorthJerseyans to try it!!!!
For some reason, it looked greasy to me… Not good…
I loved Gia!
Me too!
Did they scrape film off the cutting room floor for this episode? The whole blk stuff was bored ring and the toe business is where I drew the line. I’m tired of seeing the 2 gorgons every episode. They bring nothing.
Amen!
Really? One of those Manzo “boys” supposedly tweeted that the “hot” girls are in NJ, NY and Philly? Shaddup. The DC area is conservative, discriminating and particular. Not known for hotness. Most people have multiple degrees and are schlepping to work and still trying to put food on the table. And they live in an area with one of the highest per capita income. If you are in DC right now, no one cares. Don’t you know convention centers are designed for out-of-towners? Stupid people I have a job I went all over the world on their dime and got Edjamacated. I am not Italian and I have made vodka sauce right here. I would NEVER show a water thatis black to my trainer at my gym.
I will say I like Chris at this point. He can deal with his sister and wife. She us in the closet in a suitcase crying while he is trying to maintain house and home. She has babies, he and Teresa are oon the job.
I have been in DC a few times and saw very attractive men and women who live and work there.
Something tells me Miss Milania is going to give us the BIGGEST secrets over time. You know how kids are LOL.
Another episode, another opportunity to…
(1) Hear Richie spew vile comments. The ‘tampon’ comment was misogynistic….He is so gross to me. No wonder Teresa stopped hanging around him.
(2) See Gia to upstage Melissa
(3) Puke after watching Gorga’s to behave inappropriately infront of their children.
(4) Wondering why is everyone is peddling food! BLK, Brownstone Sauce, Kathy’s desserts…..its actually becoming clearer to me that the Teresa jealousy is because of her success in the cooking territory.
(5) Chris L. shared how financially leveraged he is with BLK, I kinda feel sorry of him. Its a year later and I don’t think the gamble paid off…
Ya, I’m in the Midwest and nobody around here that doesn’t watch RHONJ has seen or even heard of BLK water.
Can’t feel sorry for Chris Laurita. What he did to the Signature Apparel Group’s creditors was a crime.
He will be washing dishes at the Brownstone.
I saw 1 (one) bottle of BLK in our local Wegman’s last Christmas. I almost bought it but it looked too repulsive.
And guess what it isn’t over by a long shot. He’s looking at a major multi-million lawsuit and also he may be looking at Federal prison over fraudulantly doing a federal bankruptcy.
Did everyone notice baby JoeGee’s daddy this episode? The camera only panned on him a few times but half the time he had a cell in his hand no doubt twittin away.
He probably was tweeting nasty stuff to his sons account.
Thats what came to my mind as soon as I saw him.
Jax and Caroline are so boring that their air time is being given to their husbands and Caroline’s sons. I enjoyed them more than the housewives this week.
Is Crittafur getting uglier each week? He looked like a troll tonight. I bet he eats billy goats under bridges.
Critta definitely seemed chunkier in last night’s ep. I duno why Chuckie give Lauren such grief over being a fatty when Critta clearly is developing a weight problem himself
Glaughy – NO NO NO……………..NO!!!! Critterfur does NOT have a weight problem!! He’s got amazing Laurita genes and stays skinny no matter what he eats!!! But seriously…
I love how Chuck is forced liquid egg whites and then MAJOR F*CKING SURGERY on her daughter for her weight issue, but when her son, who’s CLEARLY porking up and getting and looking UNHEALTHY shoves gallons of vodka and cow flesh down his gullet, not a word. Oh sorry, I think she mentioned how cute they are AGAIN.
What are you talking about? Critterfur is definitely a SIZE 4!
His teeth are gross. I don’t know what happened to them. The other two Manzoid spawn seem to have straight, white teeth and then there is Critterfur with his yellow crooked teeth. I also noticed both the Manzoid male offspring seem to have a bit of a speech impediment. They both kind of make a weird slurping sound when they talk. It sounds a little like Daffy Duck. No offense to those with speech impediments. I just never noticed before that they do this.
I noticed that myself! He’s hard to look at.
Maybe it’s the blk water turning his teeth yellow. Or maybe it is all the barfing eating the enamel off his teeth. Either way, he should go see Crooksy’s dentist and get himself some new choppers ‘cuz the ones he has are busted.
Insecurity.
Don Caro must be proud of her babies puking on tv.
Cacao…LOL, that;s funny!
No kidding cacao… Omg! Barfing, burping up a storm, no manners and not selling one thing.
LOL! Love that!
Perfect!
The Manzo crotch spawn and BGG are belching, farting, puking, slobbering gag inducing idiots. They are NOT housewives. No one wants to watch them shove nasty piles of food in their gaping holes and no one wants their sewer water.
ITA DD….Is Bravo limited to what they can show now that EVERYONE is in lawsuits, bankruptcy, gag orders that we are now reduced to watchin, “The Real Frat Boys Take a Road Trip?”
P.S. Nice set up Jax, “Chris’ apparel business was FORCED into a bankruptcy”…..Maybe they could all be roomies in prison and rename the show.
Yeah, it was forced into bankruptcy. By the owners.
Wow, 12 episodes down already and it doesn’t seem like anything has really happened at all. Talk about a stinker season. NYC feels the same, as well. I’m guessing there are only 4 episodes left of Jersey then the reunion? How are they going to fit Napa and the Posche show into that???
I’m wondering if Teresa doesn’t go to Napa? If she didn’t go there would probably be much less worth filming/airing.
True. Which Chris Laurita, he of the white knuckling approach to bidnus, knows so as far as he is concerned Tree is in. Must have been one heck of a private convo between him and the wifey regarding that.
The whole clan has nothing without Teresa. Napa would not be happening if she didn’t go.. They should be kissing her ring, for getting them another vacation..
Yep. The sooner they realize that and get over it and get on with it the better off they will all be.
Zzzzzzz . . . wha? RHONJ was on?
I was wondering why the camera crew is wearing BLK t-shirts..do they work for Bravo or the Manzo’s..just curious. If they are the Bravo crew it seems really strange they are advertising for them. This show is so twisted anymore..so many have rightly said that it’s become an informercial for all their products and it’s become a HouseHusband show….I’m so bored with the whole thing.
I thought the same thing, WHY ARE THEY WEARING BLK shirts…that didn’t sit right with me.
It would be a double hard thing to swallow if come to find out BLK approached Guidice first and she turned them down.
I was too. Perhaps Bravo invested in the black water thing… That would be a big mistake hey?
I agree with all of the comments. I am not going to watch anymore. Its a push down our throats of their products, songs, Bravo should get rid of Cohen for trying to make it a friends of gay housewives show. It was an insult to Patti LaBell who is a legend in her own time for them not to know who she was. The plot to make Theresa the villian this season is baseless and the damage to the Gorga family will last long after Mego dumps Joey and his Tarzan. Besides, I think the scenes with the Gorgas and their children border on abuse.
When did drinking until you vomit become television entertainment?
I’m asking seriously.
The Manzo’s are disgusting pigs.
Hey! I am sure that disgusting pigs don’t appreciate being compared to the Manzos.
That’s going to help business so much.
He really has a special way about him.
Caroline’s drunk, vomiting “child” is very special, isn’t he?
Maybe he would have been more suited for a stripper car wash. The girls could just hose him down at the end of the day.
Not sure but I really hope Bravo gets over that before we start seeing segments featuring lapband blowback outa the lot of em.
Oh, you know Chris is the next in line to get one.
Maybe cutting down the food and huge amounts of booze…..nah. Just get a lapband.
Maybe he already did get one(boys come first in Manzoland ya knoew) and that be the reason for the throwing up. he seemed to be pretty good at it seeing as how he had the restraint to ask for the restroom and all.
Maybe getting off the couch?? Nope that’s too much too
Patti LaBelle was probably at the Fancy Food show lookin’ for more marmalade.
‘Member when Patti LaBelle’s body guards assaulted that West Point Cadet at the airport in Houston? When I saw the Manzoids approaching her, I was hoping she would sic those body guards on them.
They are good at being on the losing side of public brawls.
CHRIS: Well aware of the filming schedule… Melissa and Gia WERE on Beatstock ads. You obviously did not take advantage of the “categories” or the search bar on SH. OR… didn’t read SH eight day ago…
From SH last year… re-posted EIGHT days ago: http://stoopidhousewives.com/2012/07/08/real-housewives-of-new-jersey-melissa-gorga-at-beatstock/ SH
#RHONJ U ALL MUST RUN N SEE 4 urself = @Teresa_Giudice got top billing @ beatstock over melisa gorga
http://www.zimbio.com/Melissa+Gorga/articles/D_k0E5DpPNQ/Real+Housewives+New+Jersey+Melissa+Gorga+Beatstock
CS: ALL of YOUR info has been on SH for almost a year. Ain’t no big deal to SH readers. SH
Note to Chuckie, ur face was never going on the sauce because (1) no one would buy it (2) Tommy Manzo is the one who actually perfected it (3) Chuckie don’t do sauce, remember? Chuckie does gravy
LOL–and by the looks of her, lots and lots of gravy!!
But never while Auntie Flo is visiting well use to visit in Carolines case
You seem to have enough info on Brownstone sauce. Don’t concern yourself with what Antonella knows.
Have a good one!
According to Albie, none of them ( at that point ) have made a dime from this sewer water venture. They don’t have other jobs, they don’t work at the brownstone, so what revenue source does that leave? Hmmm. Yeah BRAVO. They’re totally counting on their BRAVO paycheck to survive. This is why I don’t believe for a second that Chuck really wants off the show. Oh sorry ” is tired of all the drama!”.
Thank you!!!! They would all be screwed if she stops filming. They all desperately need this paycheck. Not to mention all of their “businesses” would fail a hell of a lot faster then they already are if they weren’t being shoved down our throats every week.
I’m tired of the infomercial vibe too. Ironically, Teresa seems to be doing the least peddling ON the show (she shells it just as much as the rest in blogs and interviews, but on RHONJ not so much), yet she’s finding the most success. She rarely talks about her MULTIPLE businesses. Other than a couple of cookbook photoshoots/signings and Milania’s birthday at the old pizzeria (none of which has been shown this season), her sources of income are mostly brought up by the other cast members this year. She’s not in the kitchen “guiding” the camera crew to a meal she just made from her cookbook, then forcing her family to fawn over it like she hasn’t made it 1000 times. She’s eating Eggo waffles with her family and talking to them. She is seemingly “promoting” Gia this season, but a) the kid has REAL talent; b) at Gia’s age, it is her mom’s job to get her exposure (unlike Chuckie’s grownazz “kids”); &c) this is a Housewives show. Any housewife knows that until they hit about 16, your life revolves around your kids. It gives a touch of realness and sentiment back to the show to see a mother sitting at her children’s rehersals, or watching them practice around the house after dinner.
If I wanted to watch QVC, I would watch QVC, simple as that.
Also, Chris Manzo, who grew up next to PA, did not know what scrapple is? Well, it’s what you’ll be spewing later in your episode. Think you’ll ever forget that taste now?
Bravo should be fined for making anyone hear Chris vomit scrapple.
Scrapple + vodka + blk = spewage
I wish Bravo would stop letting the women continue to pitch their crap on the show, but they get a portion of any profits. Why would Bravo care about the constant pushing of atrocities like She by Sheree if they don’t care about their negligence in a suicide, the destruction of a family and countless friendships, and even their own reputations (who would want Andy Cohen if/when the day comes that he has no job to giving himself at Bravo?!)?
I grew up in Jersey and I had no idea what scrapple was until I moved to PA. And I would never touch it. That is just nasty.
Time for BBG’s loose butt hole shout out of the day.
How these things happen…..
p.s. Sorry for the song that will be stuck in your head all day.
HAHAHAHA. BGG and his loosey goosey!!!
I was completely disgusted last night, the show is depressing, fake, and I have had it with the Manzos. I don’t want to see unhappy marginal-IQ fronters, or their displays of disgusting behavior. Chris Manzo’s descent into alcoholism, the gay cliches (Patti LaBelle, really), and the sick emotional thing going on with lazy Caroline and her lazy stupid children. The oversexualization of very unsexy people. Jax & grim Chris L, so depressed, looks like everyone is hiding drinking problems.
Bring back Kim G.! HOUSEWIVES. I want to see bitches, being bitchy. Table flips, not puking.
AMEN. KIM G KIM G KIM G
I was so shocked last night at how even the Manzos could be so stupid. Albie and Chris acted so immature puking,farting, laughing like high school boys. They are starting a business that NEEDS to work, and instead of using the opportunity to show themselves as respectable businessmen they acted like such idiots. Anyone interested in working with them probably changed their minds now. If you have a REAL job, and you act like that, you would be fired in two seconds. Sad. Caroline should be mortified but she is delusional. These idiots should be at the Brownstone with their dad. I get the feeling he would kick their asses if they acted like that at the Brownstone.
I am also confused as to WHY Bravo thought we would enjoy hearing Chris puking. It seemed to go on forever. Really strange.
Agree! Maybe that why they aren’t at the Brownstone. Papa Manzo kicked their asses to the curb and Mama Manzo shoved them off on Uncle Chris,…..maybe for investment $$$ for the sludge water.
Melissa’s song keeps playing in my head….except I have been substituting the word “party” with the word “potty”. When she fails as a hip hop star she could make a mint on potty training songs…
I so rarely comment, but had to share since my son is potty training and this song belongs in the toilet.
Too funny. Good luck with the potty training. Thems is trying times for sure. But no need to get the lil guys bowels all twisted up by singing MeGo’s song. Dont try dis one either…
Finally, another song to replace “Rockstar”. And a much better tune too! Thank you for clearing my brain of that crappy (pun intende) song.