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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ORANGE COUNTY PHOTO RECAP: Season Seven, Episode Eleven… “What’s New Pussycat?”…

                   See, Alexis???  Fox5 crossed MY name out and typed yours in underneath … have you told Fox5 that you can’t read?  

                  The producers want me to kick my husband out of my lunch meeting?  Can we change the script?  Oh, too late???

                Bravo just OK’d a bigger ring for you than the one Tamra got… but we haveta buy it at Sam’s Club and it hasta be a CZ.  We have to take it… it’s the only way we can stay on the show!

                  Stop laughing, Terry!  Laugh one more time and you’ll be staying in the garage until you can control yourself OR I’m callin’ SuperNanny… your choice.

             Damn you, Alexis!  Leave the wine and get back outside and test every one of those trampolines!

                      I’m a star!  Look at me!!!  I’m a Pussycat Doll!  I’m in the Pussycat club now!!!

                  Who told Wretched that she could pull this off??    She shoulda taken that Fox5 job!

                Look, Wretched… you can do this!  Just get up on the stage and squat.  That’s all these Pussycat Dolls are doin’… you can do this!!

                     “FE-VAH!”  Can you sing the rest of the song for me???  I can butt-pop and squat, but that song is really, really hard…

                  “FE-VAH!”   ***cough, cough***   Why can’t I just lip-sync like I usually do?  Can you write the lyrics on this guy’s leg?  ‘Cause it would really help me.    “FE-VAH!”

         Whoever thinks we’re gonna be watchin’ Wretched wreck the Pussycat Dolls…  raise your glass!!

                Look!  LOOK!!!  Look at me!!!  I’m a Pussycat Doll!!!

                 You can’t keep telling everyone you’re a Pussycat Doll.  You are only singing with them for 18 seconds… 

            Slimey told me to say “I’m a Pussycat Doll” 500 times and that automatically makes me a Pussycat Doll!   He is soooo smart… and he knows how to say “Pussycat Dolls” in three languages!!

                AFTER you’ve paid me $750 for something that you could have very easily done yourself in 3 minutes… then you can look.  You’ll be beautiful… trust me.

                 Look, Jimbo!!!  I just paid $750 to look like this!  

                     So, Eddie… bein’ a part of this whole phony baloney show… free trip to Vegas, free dinner and show… this is better than gettin’ free pens from the pharm reps!

                 OMG!  Dog the Bounty Hunter looks better than me…

                    Can you put more makeup on me?  It helps my voice… “FE-VAH!”

              What the hell did Jimbo do to you, Alexass???

                        Put your hands together for our brand new… for 17 seconds… member of the Pussycat Dolls!  What was your name again??  Oh, riiiiiight…. GretchenCHRISTINE.

             LOOK!!!  LOOK AT ME!!!!  I’m a Pussycat Doll!!!!  Ain’t that right, Robin Antin… sister of Bravo BlowOut hairdresser… Jonathan Antin?  I’m a Pussycat Doll now, right??

                   You are beautiful, Vicki… you are wonderful, Vicki… you are getting positive affirmations right now, Vicki…  and I will continue to positively affirm you and your rust-bucket love tank until I see my name as a beneficiary on one of them insurance papers you sold to yourself.

 BOOOOOO!!!!   GET HER OFF THE STAGE!!!  GET THE HOOK!!!!  WHO TOLD YOU TO RIP UP A GREAT PEGGY LEE SONG??  YOU STINK, WRETCHED!!!   She won’t be able to tell it was me yelling at her, will she, Eddie??

                     “FE-VAH!”  Line!  Someone give me my line!!!  “FE-VAH!”  LINE… PUH-LEEEZE!!!  What’s the next line after “FE-VAH!”?????

                            I just overheard Robin Antin sayin’ that she’s forced to close down the Pussycat Dolls!!!   Word is flyin’ through Vegas that Wretched stunk up this place so bad that Robin can never step foot in Vegas again!  Robin’s gonna be sweepin’ hair at her brother’s salon….

14 comments on “REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ORANGE COUNTY PHOTO RECAP: Season Seven, Episode Eleven… “What’s New Pussycat?”…

  1. yikes! i’ll just stick to your recap and skip the show. i don’t think i can take hearing gretchen caterwauling and looking at that bizarre makeup job on alexis. it’s all so awful!

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  2. Ugh… Why do I watch this show? It should’ve been cancelled 2 seasons ago. Alexis is an idiot. Gretchen’s fame whoring is just… is her outfit made of tin foil? It appears to be. Ughs
    I of course loved MsSH’s recap! :-) Jonathan Antin! He’s one of the best!

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  3. OH MY, can anyone beleive what we just heard from Gretchen, someone need’s to tell that girl just because you think you look good in a outfit don’t mean that you,can sing and do the other 50 thing’s she think’s she can do!!

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  4. I sort-of felt sorry for Alexass when Wretchen told her that Fox5 offered her the gig first. What a nasty friend she is. Although, it was good advice for her to get a coach b/c she was a hot mess on that audition tape.

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    • It was the truth though. Alexass needs to really needs to work at this, if she ever expects to be called back. :(

      P.S. Jimbo…put something (anything) on all those empty office shelves! ;)

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