March 22, 2012  9:30 am  UPDATE 6:oo pm  10:35 pm

PHAEDRA PARKS:  ANOTHER Housewife writing ANOTHER book!!!  This time it’s Phaedra Parks writing an “etiquette” book… HERE.   NOTE:  Hasn’t all the advice and etiquette already been done???  DonCaro, Countless LuAnnie, Lisa VanderpumpRump, Hagface Kyle are just a few that have already covered all the advice anyone could ever need!

JUST WEIRD!!!  Shana is STILL tryin’ to push her book and was at KYET today… HERE.   The weird part is that Shana posts photos of herself with EVERYONE; however, she mentioned that she had lunch today with her mother and THIS is what she posts.  Where’s mom???? 

VICKI GUNVALSON:  Vicki gets a free visit to the Kentucky Derby!!!  Vicki will be hosting a poker tournament a day before the Kentucky Derby runs…very smart, Vicki, VERY smart!!!… HERE.

 Ken Todd, Mohamed Hadid and Lisa Vanderpump… “Come look at my helicopter, Lisa… I’ve had it in my back yard for nine years and some guy named Joe Francis helped me pay for it… and this ‘Joe guy’ has never been in it!”

LISA VANDERPUMP:  Lisa’s friend and next door neighbor, Mohamed, is being sued by Joe Francis.  In 2002, Joe went in with Mohamed on a Bell 206 Long Ranger helicopter… and Joe never saw the ‘copter! … HERE.  NOTE:  OK… you spend over $250,000 for a helicopter NINE years ago and you just discover NOW that you mighta been ripped off???  

MELISSA GORGA:  Poor Missy!  She and Joe will be in Cleveland making an appearance at Tequila Ranch, in the warehouse district.  Tequila Ranch will open its doors at 8 p.m. There will be a $10 cover charge… HERE.  NOTE:  Missy will do just about anything to get rid of those “On Display” CDs!!   Missy needs to get a better PR rep!!  Any SH readers attending this event… take photos!!!

JILLZ:  IMO, as an EX-Housewife, Jillz (BLEEEECH!!) should fade out into oblivion.  The following article included in Forbes begs the question “WHY?” …HERE.  NOTE:  WHO CARES what Jillz says or thinks or what her favorite hotel is??  If anyone can explain Jillz relevance, it would be appreciated…AND… since Jillz will be lunching today with another HW who should also fade into oblivion, KKKelly, you can be certain that there will be boatloads of photos of the two of them… still attempting to be relevant.

How everyone feels about Jillz and KKKelly:

LISA VANDERPUMP:  Lisa’s best etiquette advice… HERE.  NOTE:  Great “advice,” Lisa… nothing that Emily Post didn’t advise…  50 years ago!

DANIELLE STAUB  Followup on “Dial-A-Star”:  Rates vary depending on the operator…  Octomom costs $12 a minute, while  Dina Lohan is $25 a minute and a chat with Real Housewives of New Jersey’s Danielle Staub is $18 per minute.  Each operator has a list of predetermined discussion topics.  According to reports, the site is doing great business, with Danielle the top earner, having pulled in over six grand since the site’s launch, some of the other celebs are doing good business, too. Michael Lohan has done over $3000 worth of business, while Octomom is right behind him at almost two grand.  “Celebrities” decide their own rate and get to keep 50 percent.   TMZ called Michael Lohan… HERE.

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(Thanks to SH reader “MMc”!!!)