March 22, 2012  9:30 am  UPDATE 6:oo pm  10:35 pm

PHAEDRA PARKS:  ANOTHER Housewife writing ANOTHER book!!!  This time it’s Phaedra Parks writing an “etiquette” book… HERE.   NOTE:  Hasn’t all the advice and etiquette already been done???  DonCaro, Countless LuAnnie, Lisa VanderpumpRump, Hagface Kyle are just a few that have already covered all the advice anyone could ever need!

JUST WEIRD!!!  Shana is STILL tryin’ to push her book and was at KYET today… HERE.   The weird part is that Shana posts photos of herself with EVERYONE; however, she mentioned that she had lunch today with her mother and THIS is what she posts.  Where’s mom???? 

VICKI GUNVALSON:  Vicki gets a free visit to the Kentucky Derby!!!  Vicki will be hosting a poker tournament a day before the Kentucky Derby runs…very smart, Vicki, VERY smart!!!… HERE.

 Ken Todd, Mohamed Hadid and Lisa Vanderpump… “Come look at my helicopter, Lisa… I’ve had it in my back yard for nine years and some guy named Joe Francis helped me pay for it… and this ‘Joe guy’ has never been in it!”

LISA VANDERPUMP:  Lisa’s friend and next door neighbor, Mohamed, is being sued by Joe Francis.  In 2002, Joe went in with Mohamed on a Bell 206 Long Ranger helicopter… and Joe never saw the ‘copter! … HERE.  NOTE:  OK… you spend over $250,000 for a helicopter NINE years ago and you just discover NOW that you mighta been ripped off???  

MELISSA GORGA:  Poor Missy!  She and Joe will be in Cleveland making an appearance at Tequila Ranch, in the warehouse district.  Tequila Ranch will open its doors at 8 p.m. There will be a $10 cover charge… HERE.  NOTE:  Missy will do just about anything to get rid of those “On Display” CDs!!   Missy needs to get a better PR rep!!  Any SH readers attending this event… take photos!!!

JILLZ:  IMO, as an EX-Housewife, Jillz (BLEEEECH!!) should fade out into oblivion.  The following article included in Forbes begs the question “WHY?” …HERE.  NOTE:  WHO CARES what Jillz says or thinks or what her favorite hotel is??  If anyone can explain Jillz relevance, it would be appreciated…AND… since Jillz will be lunching today with another HW who should also fade into oblivion, KKKelly, you can be certain that there will be boatloads of photos of the two of them… still attempting to be relevant.

How everyone feels about Jillz and KKKelly:

LISA VANDERPUMP:  Lisa’s best etiquette advice… HERE.  NOTE:  Great “advice,” Lisa… nothing that Emily Post didn’t advise…  50 years ago!

DANIELLE STAUB  Followup on “Dial-A-Star”:  Rates vary depending on the operator…  Octomom costs $12 a minute, while  Dina Lohan is $25 a minute and a chat with Real Housewives of New Jersey’s Danielle Staub is $18 per minute.  Each operator has a list of predetermined discussion topics.  According to reports, the site is doing great business, with Danielle the top earner, having pulled in over six grand since the site’s launch, some of the other celebs are doing good business, too. Michael Lohan has done over $3000 worth of business, while Octomom is right behind him at almost two grand.  “Celebrities” decide their own rate and get to keep 50 percent.   TMZ called Michael Lohan… HERE.

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(Thanks to SH reader “MMc”!!!)

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  1. That Hadid guy is such a hack. That house that he lives in is not even his house. He’s the builder and is living in it while it is being finished.

  2. You’re kidding me, right? I mean I did drink a lot of coffee; so it is quite possible that I mis-read that… Hey Joe dumb chit Francis, you shoulda just chalked that one up to da game, bro cuz… you never gonna see that chopper or your $$$!
    He just tried to sue Madonna bc he claimes he knows her and the name of her new song is Girls Gone Wild or something. She was asked about it and said she has no idea who JoeF is… Lol! Nice try dipshi… Is he broke or something?

  3. I think the camel and the mermaid flew it away after Pandorka’s party while everybody else was in da orgy room!!

    • Well, sounds like they will get to you faster than us! MyT is having a diffcult time finding her fanny pack. We can’t bust you outta jail without it! It’s not lookin good… :-/ How long can you hold on?!

      • LOL!! How many karents did you guys carve into shanks?? Best part of that idea (besides gettin’ ‘em through the metal detector, of course!) is after you use the shiv you can eat the evidence!

        • Lol! I think that psycho cat made off with said fanny pack… Have you seen his eyes? He’s like a feline version of Ramona! Wonder if Mohamad can track the camel and mermaid in the chopper to see how close they are? It’s your only hope. Her tail should be of some use.

  4. Joe Francis is a total scumbag and waste of a human being. He made his fortune off of getting stupid, underage girls drunk so they’d flash their boobs for his videos, didn’t he go to jail for not paying taxes on his ill-gotten wealth?

  5. Maybe my coffee hasn’t kicked in but this sentence of Jillz made no sense to me:
    ” I love the Ritz in Paris, where you can even order 24 hours a day to change your sheets.”
    Does this mean they have someone who does nothing but stay in your room and change your sheets for a full day if you request it?
    Am I alone on this one??
    Dazed & Confused

    • Or – Is immediate and after hours sheet changing a selling point in a hotel? Should the Ritz start advertising that? What kind of crowd is inclined to be swayed by that special feature? And lastly, wouldn’t a nice hotel be happy and willing to accomodate most requests? Why is this singled out? Ok. I’m done.

  6. What I saw in a clip is one of the Shahs ( Bravos new soap) having a deal with Mohamed. I have no idea what is up with that, however it looks like one ( maybe ooh i forget his name, the one who is in real estate Danny? maybe thats his name) may have a deal with him? Im sure Ms SH know about this and has more info. about this.

  7. “WHO CARES what Jillz says or thinks or what her favorite hotel is?? ”

    Well I guess a lot of her fans does.

  8. Oh my RHBH, first a stolen house and now a stolen helicopter!! There are some hefty sticky fingers over there in Beverly Hills!!

  9. Is that the wonderfully mysterious Bradley running with KKK? I really can’t imagine why (s)he would hid his/her beauty under a hood like that.

  10. Everyone has the right to spend their money as they please but it is hard to sympathize with Americans as they piss and moan that they don’t have enough money when they turn around and spend their hard earned dollars on calling so-called celebrities and/or buy their pathetic books that offer no more information than a person can get from their mom or grandmother. Save your money or better yet spend it on a fun vacation!

  11. I actually read the Jillz article (sadly). I noticed she brought up the Trump hotels quite a bit. Look slike someone is lobbying for a spot on Celebrity Aprentice.

  12. I’m surprised that Dana and Taylor aren’t working the phone lines. I thought for sure Jill, Simon and Alex would be on it as well. Old housewives never die they get (833) numbers!

    • LOL, PamDana and Shana probably haven’t heard about it yet. By next week they’ll be chatting away.

      • They are probably starting their own ‘celebrity’ chat line that has numerous hidden charges & investors to rip off.

  13. I hate Jill Z!!! I was hoping that my 2nd cousin who has a condo on ‘The World’ would be at a family thing a couple of weeks ago so I could question her about the hideous Zarins. As Jill was gloating about spending 2 weeks on the ship last year. But she didn’t show, damned jetset.

  14. Regarding TA’s tweet….What is wrong with her mother’s face that TA refuses to be photographed with her? Is she just not beautiful enough to be seen with her or could there be another reason?

    • Her mother probably wasn’t really with her. I mean there is no reason to lie about that, but that trash don’t need a reason to lie. She’s not capable of saying anything TRUE!

  15. Guess I missed this before. That poker event in Kentucky has legendary (and I mean LEGENDARY) former Louisville coach Denny Crum and they’re gonna publicize Vicki? Who’s gonna show up to listen to her talk about herself with they can shake hands with a 2-time championship winning coach? I know poker has made great inroads with women (that Jennifer Tilly and some other “hot chick” actress play in those celebrity tournaments) but it doesn’t seem like the same crowd as HW watchers.

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