Even the people in Miami are catchin’ on to the Moron-zo “Boooiiiizzzz”… and their black water crap…
From the Miami Herald:
“Something only Real Housewives of New Jersey fans will care about…”
From the Miami Herald…
“For the politically inclined, Blackwater elicits images of the scandal-plagued security firm with dealings in Iraq. For others, black water is just the stuff that comes out of the sink in a schlocky old Art Deco apartment.
But for the Manzos of The Real Housewives of New Jersey infamy, blk. Water, as it’s spelled, is a way for sons Albie and Chris to make a living that doesn’t involve strippers, car washes or the LSATs.
One of the young Men-zo–Albie–will be at the Hotel Breakwater on Ocean Drive Friday night along with mom Caroline and aunt Jaqueline Laurita to celebrate the launch of this bizarre dark liquid. For famewhores, no, the cameras won’t be rolling, and for RHONJ fans, no, arch enemy Teresa Guidice won’t be there either, as she’s busy famewhoring herself on the new season of Celebrity Apprentice.”
NOTE: Apparently Jax Laurita is totally recovered from her total meltdown, which made her unable to attend the Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion show! Wonder if “BabyJoeGee’s” daddy is there with them??
Miami Herald… here.
To celebrate the launch of blk? Dang, this is the longest “launch” in history, lasted already about a year! Stop tryin’ to make fetch (I mean blk) happen!!!
Love me some Mean Girls
OUCH! I guess the Manzos are not popular in Miami. I admit I bought a bottle from Kings and tried it. There is no aftertaste, it tastes just like water. I think I will stick to regular water though. Less expensive.
The look and expression on Albies face looks sad…Like he’d rather be anywhere but there…Crittofer is signing an autograph on a blk bottle and poor Albie looks like he’s wondering how and why did I end up here…? I think Teresa has been ‘fired’ from Apprentice…she seems to be everyhere all of a sudden…Should be a riot watching her converse with the equally gramatically challenged Paul Teutle Sr…They can discuss ‘Idears’ about different ‘ingredientes’ in cooking…lol Celebrity Apprentice has officially jumped the shark…although after the NeNe fiasco, it’s amazing they even considered or interviewed another housewife…It was a humiliating failure for everyone….(except NeNe of course…she got Rich)…lol…
heller!!
Paul Sr is gonna be on CA? Oh wow! love it. Sr and Tree both seem to have their own special grasp of lawsuits and their outcomes. This is gonna be rich.
Google Celebrity apprentice 2012 for the upcoming cast….The mens team seems stronger with Paul Sr., Dee Snyder, Arsenio, Lou Ferrigno, George Takai, Clay aiken, and Penn Gillette..I don’t recognize some of the women other than Teresa, Debbie Gibson, Victoria Gotti, Cherl Tiegs, Lisa Lampenelli, Should be a funny season, I don’t think Teresa and Victoria Gotti will get along..we’ll see..
By the way…loved the special grasp of lawsuits and outcomes line…lol..It’s so true….they both lose miserably in court, but think and say they actually won..
I’ve always felt sorry for Albie. To me, he’s the undeniable black sheep of that family. I think he made an attempt, an unsuccessful one, but an attempt nonetheless, to gain some independence from his family by going to college to pursue a different kind of life than the one they had and valued, and also to be able to support himself without their help or partnering. In previous seasons he made it pretty clear that business, and specifically, the banquet hall business, just wasn’t his thing. I think he’s probably better suited to and always envisioned himself doing a “regular” job ( even if business related, not a business owner). I also think somehow ( god knows how ) along the way he got the message that higher education IS valuable because he pursued it and attained a degree against some decent odds . Maybe he just had enough insight to realize that if he didn’t go to college, he’d be semi-dependent on and intertwined with his family forever and that maybe wasn’t such a good thing. That’s a functional life model for some people, but I think most people consider having to work with their family and be dependent on their family for money like a kind of hell on earth. Thank the LAWD I don’t have to WORK with my family, I say. Many people have noted on here that there is NO one Manzo/Laurita business per se; they’re like a giant conglomerate of smaller businesses all interdependent on each other. On the surface, it might sort of look like Don Caro and Big Al supported Albie and his different outlook on life because they paid for his tuition ( and Caro did his homework ) but Caro herself actually said, on camera, that ” this family values street smarts over book smarts” – or something to that effect. Plus, okay, law school didn’t work out for him, but instead of encouraging him to find a path that does suit his personality, abilities and long term financial interest, she either pushes him into ( my guess ) OR is at least content with him hawking sh*tty products for the benefit of his Uncle’s progeny? – He said as much in an interview, that he wants to help Uncle Chris leave a thriving business to HIS sons. Don Caro also said that he was worried about being able to take care of HER if something happened to Big Al. Ok, nice sentiment, and I’m certainly not going to argue against adult sons helping their mothers in the event of their fathers’ untimely deaths. HOWEVER, Big Al is still very much alive; Caroline is not a sick, old widow alone in a nursing home; Albie is a MAN in his mid-twenties with NO real long term, solid plan in place to earn money for himself and a wife and kids, which might be coming in the next 5 years ( I guess I’m in the minority, I’ve never thought he was gay ). This is one area where I’d say it’s OKAY for a mother to butt her nose into her adult son’s business. How about telling him ” You’re a man now. You’re going to have to worry about your own financial interests and the interests of a family soon. Please don’t worry about me or your Uncle Chris or the Brownstone or your cousins who are 8 and 2.” Oh and ” This whole going around and partying and launching products thing might seem fun now, but it’s not to last. You might want to think about a career more grounded in reality”. I have no doubt she’d like the Manzo/Laurita clan to make a lot of money as a whole, but I don’t think she really wants her kids, particularly him, to be financially INDEPENDENT – as in makes his own paycheck in his name from a place or institution that has NOTHING to do with his family. I think she likes him right where he is and doesn’t REALLY want to him to “fly” no matter what she says. I’m sure he loves his family, but I’d bet the reason he always looks like he’s unhappy is probably because he’s being forced in a sense to a live a life he doesn’t want. And it’ll never change unless Don Caro releases him from the guilt for “leaving her” and Da Fambly and she won’t.
Okay, that’s my Manzo psychoanalysis for the day!
http://media1.break.com/breakstudios/2011/9/20/Lucy-van-pelt.jpg
Sorry, but my attention span is only good for a few paragraphs…
I hear ya JB. How about ” Caroline sucks. ” ?
Albie’s got that far off look in his eyes again.
If I had to guess, I’d say he got a glimpse of the Miami Dolphins cheerleader squad!!
Maybe he’s gay and can’t get himself to come out of the closet?
That Miami Herald reporter must have been mad she had to write about the Manzos! But nice to see a reporter treat that event with the appropriate amount of respect. That is, none.
rinky dink
AOM: That’s the ONLY reason it’s on SH!!! LOL! TFC!! SH
And aint that the bald one senoir dipchit himself Joe Gee behind Caroline?
OMG SH, I thought the script posted was “your” take on the article. I almost spit out my croissant when I realized that IS the actual article in the Miami newspaper.
I’m laughing so hard, I hope I don’t wake up the neighbors [and I live in a house, not an apartment].
Who is the commenter who can’t stand Caroline’s head tilt? Now I see her doing that everywhere!
Ugh…i can’t stand the damn head tilt, she thinks she cute. Trick you’re 50, it’s not cute anymore.
Haven’t noticed about Caroline, but Teresa does the same thing !…Every picture of her she has her head tilted..Drives me crazy… Must be a 1/16 Italian thing…I will have to start looking..BTW..Monmouth county here as well..nice to meet you..
Groovy! Nice to meet you too! I’m in Freehold — and I just love this county!
lol@ Groovy….Yes, it’s nice and peaceful there, very cool..I am waaay over the other side in Rumson, but it’s nice to be near the beach..Born and raised here many generations; can’t imagine being anywhere else…Beautiful county, I agree, and more representative of NewJersey than those stereotype embarassments on TV….
Lol. Nobody gives a flying frog about the Manzo’s black swill down here. It pisses me off that Caroliar is stalking her boys all over the country while they peddle their snake oil to idiots. Can’t you leave them alone for five min. you psycho? Go away and tell people your words of wisdom. “Life is not a dress rehearsal.” Fork off. I think , in her egomaniacal mind she thinks she is Dr. Phil. Although, she has to shave her face more often than him I believe. She probably has Lauren lather her up while the boys are clipping her toenails. Run children, Run! Your mother is clinically insane and you will never have healthy relationships until you put a few states between you. I bet she breast-fed you’all until you were fourteen! Flee before it is too late.
Well Albie said on twitter that Caro now called Crittofer fat. She said he has “man boobs”. He was so upset he gave his dinner to Albie. Yeah I guess she has moved on from Lauren to Chris. Poor kid. She really is a piece of work. If she is concerned that her son is eating too much, she should take him aside PRIVATELY and say she is worried, not embarrass him in front of a table full of people. Caro never knows when to shut the hell up. How is this woman even on TV?
I’m sure he knows the viewing public generally disapproves of how Caro seems to pick on Lauren while leaving her boyz alone. I think he’s trying to help his mother in his own clumsy, misguided way : ” See, my mother doesn’t JUST castigate and humiliate Lauren, she does it to US too! “
This year, despite having a relationship with “Vito,” Lauren really looked angst-ridden and very unhappy in a lot of scenes. The year or so before, she was much bubblier and smiled a lot more. I don’t think she likes all this “fame” crap at all and likely wishes she had her anonymity back. That’s just the feeling I get from her. And it’s way too bad because she will continue to be hyper scrutinized by everyone and approached by many “fans” or “haters” while going about her daily life just because of this reality show.
With the exception of the reality show groupie tail the boyz probably get, I bet all 3 of Don’s kids feel the costs of being on this show outweigh the benefits and would like to de-board the housewives train at this point. Problem is, their mother is a full-on narcissistic famewhore and is not likely to fade into obscurity, at least not without a fight. She’s desperately trying to remain relevant in the public’s eyes and get some other gig right now.
First, I think it’s great and funny that I read your post and know that Don is Caroline! I love it!
Second, yes, I can kind of feel a bit for those three adult children whose lives are truly dysfunctional and interrupted right now; the “fame” of signing autographs (really!) and having “fans” may be fun, but when they nor the cameras are around, each is likely wondering: just what the frozen hell am I going to do with my life? Well, Lauren can marry “Vito” and become a housewife along with building her makeup artistry (I think she’s quite good and this is certainly more fruitful than hawking black water!).
And don’t forget tied-the-their-hip-and-existence UBER famewhore Greggy. You know when the spotlight starts to fade on the Manzos, he’s going to run down the streets of Hoboken naked, cut off his own foot, start dating women…ANYTHING to remain in the public eye and get the attention he so obviously — and desperately — needs.
A while back I saw a post at Reality Tea from somebody claiming to be friends with of one of Greggy’s exes — supposedly Greggy has some unspecified dirt on the Manzos that he’s using as leverage to stay in their circle and extend his 15 minutes.
Well BGG said on twitter that he going to Miami with the Manzos. Why the hell is he going? He is not part of the Blk Bev company! The Manzos can’t get rid of this guy for anything. He is such a famewhore.