August 14, 2011 10:30 am
Nutritional Facts on BLK Water bottle…uh, there are none. Photo taken at 2 am, because Becky decided to take a detour.
Becky, the SH intern, was given the ultra-simple task of obtaining “BLK” water. Becky was given her very own Prius because she is apt to get lost and she can get lost longer in a hybrid. Well, it turns out that Becky did NOT get lost this time, but decided to stop and get a mani-pedi and do some shopping after she purchased the BLK water early in the day… Becky also stopped off at a hair-dresser friend and decided to let her friend change her hair color.
Becky at work. SH waited for hours and hours… ’cause of this mani-pedi.
All while I’m waitin’ on gettin’ the BLK water in ma hands!!! Becky also forgot to charge her cell phone, so when she was taking much longer to get the BLK stuff to me, being a caring “boss” and all that… there was an APB out on Becky and the local LEOs got involved. An errand that should have taken approximately two-three hours took Becky fourteen!
Actual Prius that Becky drove to get her hands on that BLK water…
Becky finally made it back, safe and sound… with BLK water in hand. (The following photos of Becky with the BLK water are re-creations as Becky actually rolled in after midnight and there was difficulty in taking photos at that time. The attempted photos were trashed as the blinding lights of the police escort that Becky received made the glare on Becky’s car look like a disco ball.)
Well, here she is! The SH intern, Becky… all prouda herself, ’cause she got the BLK water.
OK, so let’s get to it! Here’s the rundown from our girl Becky…
Becky arrived at the supermarket which carries BLK water at approximately 1 pm yesterday. Becky reports that it was difficult once in the store to find the BLK water. Becky reports that she looked five times in the water section and could not locate the BLK water where she thought all water would be stocked. Becky gave up on searching the water section of the store and was on her way to ask one of the store employees for assistance when Becky spotted some eye shadow. Becky is easily distracted and spent over an hour at the makeup section of the grocery store, before remembering why she was in the store in the first place and after making her cosmetics selections, she continued the search for the BLK water.
BLK water/regular bottled water… which would you grab first?
Becky had to go to customer service, as the employees wandering around the store that she asked about the location of the BLK water had no idea what she was asking about… none of the employees ever heard of this mysterious BLK water. Customer service told Becky that, yes, the store does carry BLK water and she can find it in the “Organic Specialty Section.” The very nice customer service person actually escorted Becky back to the “Organic Specialty Section” as that section is a sub-section of the “Organic Section” and is kind of hard to find.
While walking Becky back to where the BLK water is stocked, the customer service person asked Becky, “You do know that this is BLACK water?” Becky tells the very kind customer service person that, yes, she is aware that she will be buying BLACK water. Finally, they arrive at the “Organic Specialty Section” and Becky picks up the six bottles of BLK water as instructed and heads to the check out… cosmetics still in hand and no further distractions.
Becky… again, all prouda herself!
At the check out, the cashier looked at the BLK water and said, “What is this?” and then asked Becky, “You do realize that this is BLACK water?” Becky replied that she was aware of that fact and was sent to purchase it. The cashier went on to say that she heard that this product was in the store, but that no one had ever come through her line with it and was certain that Becky is the first customer to have purchased BLK water in the months that it has been in the store. The cashier held up a bottle and asked fellow cashiers that were within earshot if they had ever seen this come through their check out line and they all agreed that Becky’s cashier is the first to have rung it up. Rung it up to the tune of $1.85 a bottle… that comes to a total of $11.10 for six bottles of BLK water.
Fast forward to today…
Got the BLK water and the glassware, etc. ready to go…
Preparing proper stemware to pour the BLK water into… hey, Becky does try! (You can’t drink BLK water outta a wine glass!!!)
High-class plasticware ready for the BLK water… yep, BLK water was actually in these cups and consumed.
As Becky pissed me off so much yesterday… (I had to call in big-time favors from law enforcement friends because she was out shopping and trying to see how many miles the Prius could get on a full tank of gas)… she did not get today (Saturday) off. In preparing for the “tasting,” Becky procured various stemware, glassware and plasticware in which to pour the BLK water. Hey, Becky may not be the brightest bulb, but she will do just about anything I ask of her and she’s happy doin’ it… kinda reminds me of KimZ and Sweetie, ‘cept Becky don’t live wit me!
Becky chuggin’ down the BLK water… she loved the stuff!!!
Well, let’s get to the reason for this entire post…
The first bottle of the chilled BLK water was unscrewed. There were three other people attending this “tasting,” plus Becky and myself. So including the always distracted, but lovable Becky, five people were in attendance for the unscrewing and tasting of BLK water.
Here are the initial reactions/comments:
- “No flavor, but flat.”
- “Stale swamp water.”
- “Heavy tannins.”
- “What did I just drink… Bane juice?” (This is some Batman reference…)
- “Left my mouth dry.”
- “Metallic aftertaste.”
- “There is a ‘heaviness’ to this.”
- “They don’t need to add anything to water.”
- “It would be worth the trip to return this.”
- “Oh, there’s a saying on the bottle when it’s empty!”
- “Tastes like water.”
Becky’s boyfriend came over to pick her up and take her home… and while here, he also tried out the BLK water. Interestingly, both Becky and her boyfriend had no problem drinking the stuff and actually LIKED the BLK water! It has to be an age thing as Becky just turned legal, same as her boyfriend. The others in the tasting party were over thirty… and all thought the BLK water was disgusting.
Enjoy the dark side??? Uh… no thanks!
Becky was lovin’ the stuff, though. Her boyfriend, Carleton, refused to be photographed for this exclusive, very important review!
And what did SH think about BLK water??? Are you serious??? I ain’t drinkin’ that sh**!!!
Same bottle from last week’s review of Skinnygirl margaritas. The remainder still sits… no one wants to drink it. Who can blame ‘em? It’s awful!!!
NOTE: The leftover Skinnygirl margarita bottle was also put out. No one wanted to drink it…
Also Note: There is still a RHONJ recap to come… got sidetracked by this BLK water crap!
I want a urine or blood test that MS.SH drank that crap! LOL!
Nobody got a buzz?
OMG!!! THAT was one of the funniest posts you ever wrote, Ms SH! Thank YOU! I’m going to read it again.
so far black water has not made it this far south of New Jersey but if it does that will mean its probably doing well in sales. If it shows up I will try it, I have to admit I am curious, But after that initial taste test I refuse to drink water of any kind that cost more per gallon than gasoline. I will just stick with my Brita water pitcher thanks!
sd, I’m with you on that…But I would like to see if my cats will drink it. Would that be considered animal abuse? Maybe I better not.
Dont do it click. Its supposed to make people go poop so it will prolly give your cat diarrhea. He might not even make it to the litterbox then it will literally be as they say “slicker than cat chit on a hardwood floor”
Speaking of which How is Becky’s bowels treating her today Ms SH?
i dont think its politically correct to say black water..should call it african american water..what do you think
joke was in poor taste what does race have to do with it. Love the site
Phil: LOL!!!! Yeah… don’t know why no one has called them on that! TFC!!! SH
but you thought it was funny
Yes, as a matter of fact… it IS funny. If for some reason you tend to disagree, kindly find another HWs site where you feel more comfortable. But funny is funny… sorry you do not agree. SH
lol lovely story. Just goes to show if you dont send a prissy Prius to do the job a Mustang could do in in half the time.
No wonder she had to get a pedicure. Bet she had to push that dang thing up any hills she had to cross!! jk
Anyways so are you saying you didn’t take a “guzzlet” as Andy would say of BLK water Ms SH?
MP: LOL!!!!! Actually the Pruis goes like a bat outta hell! However, a jacked up Mustang would be better… but I’d never let Becky get her hands on it. As for takin’ a “guzzlet” of that crap… Andy really, really, really and REALLLY needs to know what he’s talkin’ about before he uses that term again: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=guzzlet. TFC!!! SH
Ms. SH – Andy must know. It seems like he said it last WWHL with a smirk. I refuse to believe he isn’t aware of the meaning.
Oh my! I know that I shall never say it again.. unless I am really pissed at someone. then I will use it repeatedly.
I am actually going to search for BLK and try it for maybe a week because I could really used the energy and the overall good health it supposed to bring. Supposedly someone with cancer drank it and became healthy and I just want to feel energetic so I am going to try it. Well, I want to try it and I will let you know if it lives up to its’ claims.
SH- your site is quite entertaining! I enjoy many of your posts, as they are funny and witty! I would never dare try black water knowing that it has a swampy taste to it; I prefer vitamin water or regular water, mother earth’s creation.
ttyl everybody!
Buona Domenica- Happy Sunday in eye-talian!
mr.R
Mr. R: Thank you for the very kind words. See… now you will never, ever have to dare try that nasty BLK water, ’cause I… well, other people at SH…. did it for you! Love that you’re throwin that eye-talian talk around! TFC!!! SH
This was hilarious!! Great story, Becky sounds like the best intern ever!! I will NOT be trying this water…look forward to more reviews on all the crazy products the housewives come up with
Just read this again… I’m really likin’ Sweetie, uh Becky. Go, Becky!!! Damn that BLK water… mani-pedis are much more important!
Was this blk water in a “plastic” container or “glass?”
I read that plastic ruins the integrity of the “fulvic acid” and could possibly become toxic??
If it is packaged in glass, it would be safe.
Ms SH’s assistant Becky did a taste test on it but I don’t remember if she said it was glass or plastic. The empty bottle looked glass to me though.
Well I feel like a dipchit. Just realized your question was posted ON the story about the taste test. Sorry bout that.
I’ve seen the stuff–didn’t buy it, didn’t taste it. It was in plastic bottles.
oh thanks for clearing that up Who. Interesting that the plastic degrades the folvic acid. Maybe the Manzo kids but notAshlee in charge of R&D.?
Linda: Welcome! It’s in plastic bottles… TFC!!! SH
opps put notAshlee in charge of R&D
i cant…i just cant…