Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Season 3, Episode 5 … “Stick It”

        Season 3, Episode 5

“STICK IT”


JoeyG:  Did youz hear dat???  What the hell was that!?    
Melissa:  That was me singing, Joe.     JoeyG:  Oh, I thought lil Gino was strangling the cat…

                                This is great… maybe I’ll find some antique buttons or some of Albie’s cufflinks… hope Christopher remembers to pick me up.

                                Kathy was tellin’ me about some other job at Bravo… maybe I’ll ask her about it.  I am so sick of playing the ‘level-headed’ relative.  I wanna get back to my old Vegas self…

                              Tree:  Ain’t dat great, Joe?  Huh, Joe?  I’m a ouwther!  Didja ever think dat your wife would be a NYTimes best-selling awther?  Huh, Joe?  Huh?   I only need to sign another 8 million books and we can keep the Mercedes.                  Juicy: Tree, how many times I gotta tell ya… fuggetabout da Mercedes.  The first thing we gotta do is get one of dem special bootcamp babysitters for Milania…

                                Other than me, my husband and my two kids gettin’ paychecks from Bravo, I have no idea why I’m on this show.  Isn’t there an opening on Shear Genius?  I know I can speak English better than that girlfriend of Matthew McConaheyhey.  I’m gonna tell Andy that I want a transfer…  

                              When I get my Grammy Awards, I’ll mention that you sold me this coat.  OK?  Deal?  I’m tellin’ you right now that I’ll be gettin’ a Grammy, and that should be worth at least two coats.  Yeah, just me tellin’ you dat… ’cause right now it’s a huge Housewives secret.  My voice ain’t been unleashed on the public yet…

                                Yeah, I can totally back her up on that… she can sing!  She’s gonna win more Grammys than Mary J. Blige and Britney put together.  Go ahead, Missy, sing something’…


Aaaaa-haaaa-maaaayyyy-zzzzing  Ga-raaa-a-aase….   Daaa-aaaaat saaaaved aAAa wren-ch li-Ike a meeeeeee.    Now that was worth that coat that I tried on and at least five more.  

                              Would you like to hear it again???  Are we good wit da five coats for now and when I gets my Grammys, I’ll come back for as many as I can carry out?  We good?

 Listen… I’ll give you a 20% discount off one coat right now.  When you bring me back your sister-in-law’s autograph, then I’ll give you 25% off your next coat.  That’s my final offer.  When you get some voice lessons, come back and we can talk again… but don’t forget that autograph!

                              Mom!  I’m working… I have to order titanium knitting needles.  I’m not the only one who loves my hats and I’ve been making them so fast that my aluminum knitting needles wore out.  

                                Yeah, piano guy, I wrote all da words myself… how do ya like the way I rhymed ‘display’ with ‘my way’ and the best one… ‘give up’ with ‘buy me a pup’?  Good, huh?  It’s like I’m writin’ Grammy Award songs already…

                                  Aaaaahhh-haaaa-maaay-zing Gr-aaaaace, hooooowwlllll awoooooooo… didja like dat?  I did a little improvisation on Amazin’ Gracie… see I’m changin’ it to be more like me.  It should be more of a funk R&B tune…

                                Joe, hurry up and grab da kidz… dats a fire siren I can hear it.  But it kinda sounds like it’s playin’ Amazing Grace.  Dats weird.  Ok, nevermind… it stopped.

                                  Rich, did those kids ever get done with their contract to us?

 That’s a beautiful letter, Victoria… beautiful.

Now Joseph, how can you write a letter AFTER we had Thanksgiving last week?  Ohhhh… sorry, Andy.  I’m new here.  Oh, so that’s what’s called editing…

                                  Chris, isn’t Ashley a great entrepreneur?  She is knitting hats and that’s how she’s gonna pay for her car.  Well, she has to make 87 hats a day to make her monthly car payment, but she can do it…

                                Now do I got the job?  And I start next week?  Thank you.  Now I will give you some advice, ’cause that’s what I am… a know-it-all advice person.  Here’s what… for all the money my Albie ‘donated’ to this station, you oughta be makin’ me the Queen of 101.5 and throw in free lunches and put a satellite station in my house.  I’ll be givin’ you more advice after I start working here…

                                Juicy:  Hey, Tree…  Ya know yer brother is right behind us.   Tree:  Just ignore him, Joe.  He brought dat skank wit him…

                                I heard what you just said Ta-reesa and my husband ain’t gonna take you talkin’ like dat about me.  Tell your sister, Joe.  Joe!  Tell her!

                                While you guys are just standing around, how about goin’ out and gettin’ me a juicy-style pizza… Just pepperoni for me…

                                What kinda pizza do you want, Gia?

                                Awww… see, my brother’s back.  He knew dat I wanted some pizza and he’s taking orders.   I knew he’d come back…

                                If you wanted to get pizza for your sister, then you shoulda told me that’s what you were gonna do.  I mean, slicing all those onions and all dat flour flying around is really gonna mess up my instrument.  It hurts me, Joe.  It just hurts… my instrument will have to rest for at least a week.

                              Missy, I mean your instrument is precious and I love your instrument and I am 100% behind your instrument, but do you see all the pizza orders I got here???  And dis is just from the gymnastics meet.  I love you and all dat, but I’m a big businessman, maybe the biggest businessman ever on dees Housewives shows and I’m holdin’ a gold mine here.   We could have a great thing goin’… me makin’ pizzas and you singing while you deliver them to the tables.  Missy?  What do ya think?  Missy?  Missy?  Missy, yeah, there’s a Grammy category for entrepreneurial singing…