‘GOBBLEFELLAS’
Deuling Thanksgiving Dinners…
Melissa and Joe Gorga are shopping for their Thanksgiving meal at Corrado’s Italian Market. Apparently, Bravo wants lil Joe’s profile to be that of a sex-crazed Italian. They’ve been shopping for a while, and Melissa selects a ham and asks the butcher if it’s the ‘butt.’ JoeyG takes the ham and slaps it, to make sure that it’s the butt, but as JoeyG tells the butcher, ‘that’s only half the butt,’ motioning to Melissa’s rear. Did you really do that JoeyG???
We can’t buy that, Joe! Does that have a ‘Made in Italy’ stamp on it? Then we can’t buy it.
Really? Well, he IS Tree’s brother and Tree’s as dumb as a rock and about as sophisticated as a tub of butter, so he probably did do that to the ham and say that to the butcher. As they’re checking out, JoeyG says to the cashier that he’s Italian and it’s the woman’s job to go grocery shopping… he just wants to be called when the meal’s done. That’s Joey… big, sexy, Italian stallion… me want eat, me want sex, me want sleep.
JoeyG telling everyone what he said in Corrado’s… what a wit!
Tree and Joe are going to a ‘turkey farm’ to get their fresh turkey. OK, this is definitely sidetracking here, but what the hell is up with Tree driving around with a rosary on her rearview mirror? So, neither her nor her sister-in-law, Melissa, know their Catholicism… Melissa doesn’t know her prayers and Tree doesn’t know that the only place for a rosary is in a person’s hands. Catholics know that you don’t wear a rosary around your neck and you don’t throw one around your rearview mirror. In both instances, it is very disrespectful to the sacred rosary. Honestly, are these two really Catholic?
Tree and Juicy are introduced to their selection of turkeys, but since they didn’t realize that they drove to a ‘turkey farm,’ followed directions on their GPS to the ‘turkey farm,’ went out of their way to get to this ‘turkey farm,’ they didn’t think that there would be real turkeys at the ‘turkey farm.’ They purchase a pre-wrapped turkey and got the hell out of there.
Joe, did you see them turkeys? Like they were real turkeys! Joe, did you see ‘em? Huh, Joe? Joe, I’m nice. Right, Joe? Ain’t I nice, Joe? Joe?
Caroline, Albie and Lauren drive to visit Lauren’s future husband, although they are yet to be engaged, Vito at his family’s deli in Monroe NY. Vito is Albie’s former college roommate at Fordham. Big Albie says it all when he says that Vito spent four years in college and knows how to slice a nice mortadella. Hey, Vito’s working and that’s more than anyone can say about most of the men on these Housewives shows. (Can you say Slimey?)
Vito! Get over her and say hello to your mother-in-law… or give her a pepperoni roll at least.
Ashley drops by Albie and Chris’ Hoboken apartment to complain about going to work. Albie basically tells her to shut up and be grateful for what she has at home. At Jackie and Chris Laurita’s house, Ashley has cleaned her room, cleaned the kitchen and taken their little Cavalier King Charles Spaniel for a walk. Ashley calls the CKCS a ‘spaz’ and that is offensive… there is no way that dog is a ‘spaz.’ A Cav and the word ‘spaz’ should never be used in the same sentence and Ashley may be reported to the CKCS Kennel Association… they have their own association… for this infraction. As predicted, Ashley is not doing work around the house just because it needs done… Ashley’s working on getting a car out of mom and dad. What a little biatch!
If Ashlee keeps up the good work for the next three days, we should probably get her one of those nice little Prius’… oh hell, she won’t like that. We’ll just let her pick one out herself…
At the Gorgas: It’s Melissa, Joe and their kids; Melissa’s mother, sisters and their husbands; cousin Kathy Wakile, her husband and kids; and Kathy’s mother and sister. Oh, yeah… JoeyG has a big surprise for Melissa out front… a special Thanksgiving mechanical bull.
All Italian families do this at Thanksgiving… it’s a tradition.
Again, JoeyG has sex on his mind when he’s the first to ride the bull. He yells to Melissa, “So dis is what it feels like to you?” Melissa is no better when it comes to stereotypes. CameraMelissa explains ‘Italian culture’: the women are generally in the kitchen cooking, we fuss around the men and the men just kinda sit around and they’re like ‘Where’s the food, bitch.’ Note to Melissa: No true Italian would ever disrespect his wife by ever saying that to her. Honestly, is Melissa really Italian?
Isn’t this the most gorgeous turkey ever? The Bravo producers had it sent in I made it!
The talk at the dinner table is that of JoeyG and his sister, Tree. What to do, what to do? One of the brothers-in-law suggests to JoeyG that Tree is his only sister and he should forgive and forget. It’s been decided that JoeyG is gonna have a sitdown with Tree.
OK, now what do all youz guys think I should do about my sister, Tree? Not you, camera guy…
At the Joodices’ it’s: Tree, Juicy and their kids; the Manzo’s; the Lauritas; and KimD from Posche Boutique(?) for Tree and Juicy’s ‘Friendsgiving’ dinner. Tree wants to show how grateful she is to everyone who stuck by her and Juicy during the stressful past year. Filing for bankruptcy and workin’ your butt off to try to dig out of $11 million is no small feat, but Tree is out there selling her cookbooks and Juicy’s makin’ the pizzas. However, their Bankruptcy hearing is set for July 14 and the Bankruptcy Judge has the final say on how things will unfold for the Joo-dices.
To our very first phony-baloney Friendsgiving. Let’s all be thankful for this season, ’cause we probably won’t be in next year’s cast…
Tree gives a heartwarming, tearful speech after her guests arrive about how she’s from a small family and she doesn’t have a sister, but she considers Caroline to be her older (and Caroline adds ‘hotter’) sister who is always ready to give her advice when Tree calls on her. (Since when did Tree ever listen to Caroline’s advice? But at this ‘Friendsgiving,’ it’s all pretend anyway, so everyone will just have to go with Tree’s fantasy for now.) Well, Tree’s fantasy of Caroline being her ‘big sister’ lasted all of five minutes.
Seriously, Teresa? You are a total moron. As your ‘older, hotter sister,’ have I ever told you that? No? Well, I’ll tell you again. Teresa, you’re a moron.
After dinner, Tree pulls out a card that Melissa gave her when Tree threw her big housewarming party. Melissa wrote on the card: “God bless you guys in your re-done home.”
See? See what Melissa wrote to me. I saved this for three years, just for this moment so everyone could see this. See what she wrote? She wrote ‘re-done.’ Re-done!
Tree was livid because Melissa wrote “re-done” on the card. How dare Melissa say that Tree’s house was “re-done!?” Tree doesn’t forget when she’s been slighted and at Christmas, after Tree’s housewarming that year, Melissa brought Tree sprinkle cookies from the now-famous Corrado’s Italian Market and Tree threw them in the trash to get back at Melissa for writing “re-done” on the card.
OH! So dat’s what you do witta turkey! That’s OK, Tree… a cookbook author isn’t expected to actually know how to cook. You’re an author… you just write about cooking.
Tree told Melissa that she hates sprinkle cookies and her favorite cookies from Corrado’s are their pignoli cookies. (Juicy mentions that he hates any cookies with peanuts in them.) Tree tells Caroline that the old Tree threw the cookies in the trash, but the new, improved Tree would have told Melissa why she was throwing her cookies in the trash. ’Cause, you know, like I don’t wanna start a war or nothin.’ What!? That was Caroline’s reaction, also. Tree does not understand that type of relationship, Tree’s more of an ‘eye-for-an-eye’ type.
Teresa, you have no idea how I just cannot stand you. Same here, Caroline.
On the next episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey… Melissa’s voice is finally heard! JoeyG hears someone singing ‘Amazing Grace’ and it turns out to be Melissa! OMG! They’ve been married for years and JoeyG is acting like this is the first time he’s heard the melodious mouth of Melissa. Can’t wait…
Caroline posted her blog very early…
CAROLINE MANZO’S BRAVO BLOG:
Hello again! So what did you think of Thanksgiving in June? I think the general perception among viewers is that things are happening in real time, not true! We actually filmed this in November, just thought I’d give a little insight into our filming process.
Let’s talk about Vito and his family. They are wonderful people who have welcomed Lauren into their family and embraced her as one of their own. As a mother I couldn’t ask for more. It means the world to me to know that Lauren is loved not only by Vito, but his entire family as well. Jackpot! I’m going to let you in on a little secret, you need to go visit the Scalia family deli, The Best of Little Italy, in Monroe, NY. You won’t be disappointed! If you’re not from the area, check it out on the web.
I was happy to see Ashley stepping it up at home. Power on, Ashley, power on! You have it in you, kid, just let it out.
“Friendsgiving” at Teresa’s was a way for us to support Teresa and Joe during a difficult time. I was happy to see the Gorgas having a conversation that suggested moving forward towards resolving the feud. I’ve said it many times, every family fights, we’re only human, but at the end of the day we need to forgive and move on.
That’s all for now, folks. As always, thank you for watching! See you next week!
xoxo
NOTE: Sounds like Caroline was too pissed to even talk about the phony ‘Friendsgiving.’
I said this on another post, but Kathy’s desserts looked delicious!!!!!!! I need to learn how to make those! So yummy!
Kathy’s cookbook will be out soon.
I guess we now know why she’s on the show. At the very least she’ll start a pastry shop or dessert catering business.
AOM: Just listened to a phone interview someone had with Kathy. She’s ‘thinking’ of publishing a cookbook. Whoever is advising these people are doing a terrible job. SH
you could smell that set up a mile away ….
yeah and I believe I called it on the intro to Kathy’s house post way back when
Kathy shows up with that beautiful spread… and I’m still trying to figure out how she transported it all there without breaking any of the stemware? Then Toey breaks in with his lame moonwalk/mechanical bull “surprise”. F U Toey! I’m pretty sure you stole Kathy’s thunder dude. Ass… typical. She even made him special cannolis! But y’all are right, she’ll get her cookbook. Tree will looove that!
ROMO, In the real world, all the dessert stands are rented from party event rental companies. Remember Messy #2 said she already had the table set up? I hope you have had no further trouble from the evil devil child known as Milania/Jason/Freddie Kruger/Regan from The Exorcist? Get a preist over there and what ever you do, don’t look in her eyes. Or feed her after midnight…and don’t get her wet!
I’ll be alright… I have Tamra on speed dial. She let me borrow her mace for emergencies. See, what happened was, lil spider monkey MILANIA didn’t take to the news of thems not havin the monies to be paying for her fancy bows, purses, and the errday spendin sprees Tree was takin thems girls on… sumthin like that… That what Juicy told me is when Milania turned ugly, I mean bad… Uh oh, I hear a lil growl again and … He lil monster… Get away from my cats! Gotta go mace the freak
Ok soooooo Tree’s house was actually Re-renovated after all? I dont get this at all. I thought it was new home construction(considering the non-existent landscaping) and took 3 years to build. Is it possible that Toey built it originally and then Tree went in and had Juicy and his crew gut it and start over thus stealing Toeys thunder in her “look at my new marble house” pieces first season? Please Ms SH put some of your considerable sleuthing skills to work and lets get to the bottom of this one. Unless something even remotely close to my proposed scenario happened then I think Mel is a douchebag for the card. In my opinion Mel got off light if the backlash involved throwing her “spinkle cookies” away
Not to take Mel’s side bc I’m not, let’s get THAT clear, but I’m sure she worded it as such in the letter bc she’s too stoopid to spell renovated. And I now, finally have it figured it as to why lil Toey’s feelings are hurt. Thx to MP and Momma bc I needed my secret decoder ring when it came to petty and non existent crapola… Anyway, recap Toey was beaming with pride when big sis moved in to one of his homes. Then she re-done it with marble and onyx… It broke his heart in a million pieces… What, she didn’t lika the way I made it? She’s my SISTER!… Ok, then there’s the way she doesn’t go on and on and on and grossly on about him and give him $$$ anymore and now Juicy owes Toey $$$… Like Tree never gave him none? Ha! Here’s my take-a-way (Eddie for ya) … Get over it Toey! You are a brat and a sick SOB! You are lucky to have a sister so get over it! Sorry chicas but that has been getting on my nerves! I’m like Team Juicy Joe ova hea… Toey is needy! He’s typical lil man… I’m done!
Romo, Think Sprinkle cookies! You’ll feel better.
Toey is a sick no doubt. But I think Mel is a special brand of evil and came up with the card gab all on her little own. Its uncalled for. Like telling someone “congrats on your new balloon payment on that predatory loan you only half-assed qualified for to begin with” Mels lucky I aint her SIL. I would have done broke her down like a shotgun.. verbally speaking.
oops jab
Yea, and all she got out of that little dig, were the Sprinkle Cookies went in the trash. Think Homeless Shelter or soup kitchen next time, Tree.
point taken but I think Tree took it too easy on her. I would have wiped my butt with them and then packed em back up so send home with her were I am sure she would have stashed them in her candy “drower” I dont mess around.
LOL. Drower.
My husband says it “draw-Er”
I love him but it drives me nuts.
Right? (re: good thing I ain’t Missy’s SIL). And what’s with the “… and I was pregnant and she threw out my sprinkle cookies.” So? If Missy weren’t preggers than Tree throwing her damn cookies in the trash would’ve been ok? Stupid… I hate when people play the the pregnant card. In THIS case it didn’t even make sense! The only way that could’ve worked is by saying, “And if I knew she was gonna throw them in the trash, I would have brought them home with me bc I’m pregnant.” Shit I would’ve, I love sprinkle cookies!
i tried to dvr this in hd but my dvr box is f’d up so about 10mins in it froze – but what i did get to see – i think the gorgas are starting to blend with tree and juicy – they all act alike – its almost unbearable to watch – they should all get into a ring and duke it out!!
First, Toey Joey bitchin’ in the grocery store that he should’ve stayed home…Well if he wasn’t such a camera hog, then he needs to shut up! Why does he have to be every scene? He’s as bad as Simone! Had I known they were going to say “Sprinkle Cookies” a 100 x’s, that could’ve been the drinking game. I’m still in shock over Monster Milania’s behavior! Wait till that BRATZ starts school…Tree will be living in the principle’s office.
Darlie Routier, on death row in Texas, for killing her 2 young sons, Devon and Damon, gave a prison interview and at the end of it, the psycho that she is, said she wanted to end it by singing, “Amazing Grace” and she did!
Click: I hate that song. Yeah, the goofball that sprayed silly string on her kids graves… that’s normal. Can’t wait to hear Melissa’s hidden talent next week.
Bitter Kitten, Where in the hell have you been Little Missy? TeeHee!
Click: Read all the time… just can’t write all the time!!! So, I’m always around…. spooky, huh??? Did I spook ya, Click??? Huh, huh, huh??? Seriously, though… that is one song that I haaaatteee. I am so sick of hearing it. “to save a wretch like me?” F-off, Amazing Grace! Oh, I’m just in a bitter mood today!
Click: Didn’t mean to spook ya! Where’d ya go???
I’m over here…look…see me! Just watching my live feed on that charming Casey Anthony/Milania. Hubby’s watching some of it with me, and I kinda aggravate him jumping back and forth.
OK… I see ya!!! That Casey A looks like a little school marm… that’s not gonna help her, she still killed that little girl. Can you imagine being 3 yrs old, being cloroformed, tape over your mouth and you wake up in a dark car trunk?? Casey may have been scared that little Caylee was going to tell on her for that and she offed her kid. Disgusting.
ok never heard of this chick – i’ll have to google her – been watching the anthony trial <another nutbag they should pull the plug on asap!!
Vicky, Darlie Routier IS nuttier than Casey Anthony! And her mom is as nutty as Cindy Anthony…believes everything that comes out of Darlie’s mouth!
ok i googled her and i remember this case – if i remember correctly – wasn’t she trailer trash and then married into a wealthy family or something like that?
Vicky, Her and her husband made all their money together. They both started with nothing and he got in on the beginning of the computer era.
I’m sure Messy#2, has the voice of an angel! You know, being so religious and so close to Baby Jesus and all. She’s been blessed with that beautiful voice that can soothe the savage beast.
Did you see lil Joe’s reaction when he was lounging in the LR and she was singing upstairs in her closet? Like, where is that heavenly voice coming from? Are angels singing on my roof? This show is soooooo phony now I can barely stand to watch it.
i agree – don’t even miss it when i don’t watch it – reading on here is good enough!! if its going to be “scripted” at least get some good actors not these dufus’
Great recap!
Well if Trashley wasn’t so ugly, she could be a gold digger. Wretched should take Trashley under her wing, clean her up, and then train her proper. Why is Trashley asking two girls and a goofball for advice? Do they have jobs?
Click: Albie worked at a law firm…. at least that’s what he said! So, which ones are the two girls? Albie and Greg or Chris and Greg???
Of course Catholics may put a rosary on the rearview mirror. Many practicing Catholics do that. There are lots of stupid things Teresa does, but this isn’t one of them.
Rosary should not be treated as jewelry or decoration, it is perfectly understandable that someone raised in the Catholic faith (not debating her morals or behavior now) would display a sacramental from their rearview mirror.
I could have swore I saw a Native American dream catcher dangling off her rearview mirror in the letter writing episode. Either that or voodoo chicken feathers from that Santeria priestess. And it would take a special kind of ignorant to actually have all both AND a rosary hanging off the mirror. bad mojo a comin
OMG! did yall see that picture of Mel when she was a kid. That is one spooky ugly hollow eyed kid. Maybe she still has ugly girl syndrome and that explains her ugly disposition.
Saw that! Ya know, most people think that raggin’ on kids is off limits, but I’m not one of them. Mel was an ugly kid. Not as ugly as Tree’s trolls, but ug-lee.
Its ok to rag on kids once they have grown up to be colossal jackasses. And I think Little Mel is way doggier than Tree’s kids. I imagine her “vocal” talents HAD to be developed to overcompensate the fact that she would have lost any beauty pageant her family entered her in. And say what you will but Tree has always been a striking girl. Mel got it together now but that level of childhood ugly permanently damages some people beyond repair.
You So Funny…In a snide little way. TeeHee!
Can anyone explain why Kim G was at Friendsgiving? Was she supposed to have a more prominent role this season but got cut?
Also, why did Melissa have dinner in her foyer? That’s a massive house and must have a massive dining room. So strange to open the front door and boom, there’s the dinner table.
AOM, Good question? I’m at a loss for an answer.
I wondered the same and alls I could come up with is that’s they only way the camera crew could get a good angle bc we had to get reaction faces from many.
And I don’t know if I’m alone on this one but I’d like to see more of Posche Kimmy. Less of TrASShly? A girl can dream…
Did anyone notice that Theresa and Melissa’s chairs for the Thanksgiving were the exact same, only different colors? LOL, maybe it’s an Italian thing.
I wonder which one will accuse each other of copying next!
Long time reader, first time poster here. Just wanted to add a bit about the rosary thing. Living in a Dominican community, I can tell you that rosaries are worn, sold, and hung from rearview mirrors and even wall mirrors in homes. Being youngish, I can say that the fad last year was wooden rosaries that a lot of guys wore. Sure, these kids are probably not at mass everyday Sunday, but consider Catholicism as part of their heritage and rosaries seem to be used even by those with more liberal (casual) views of religion.
Hello Sarcasatire. Thanks for your input about that. This may be the case with Tree and Mel. I half expect Mel to have one of those dash ornaments like those hula girls but made to look like Jesus bobbling away on hers.
Do those idiots know it’s ilegal to have ANYTHING hanging from your rearview mirror in N.J.????
Scooter, For real?