Deuling Thanksgiving Dinners…
Melissa and Joe Gorga are shopping for their Thanksgiving meal at Corrado’s Italian Market. Apparently, Bravo wants lil Joe’s profile to be that of a sex-crazed Italian. They’ve been shopping for a while, and Melissa selects a ham and asks the butcher if it’s the ‘butt.’ JoeyG takes the ham and slaps it, to make sure that it’s the butt, but as JoeyG tells the butcher, ‘that’s only half the butt,’ motioning to Melissa’s rear. Did you really do that JoeyG???
Really? Well, he IS Tree’s brother and Tree’s as dumb as a rock and about as sophisticated as a tub of butter, so he probably did do that to the ham and say that to the butcher. As they’re checking out, JoeyG says to the cashier that he’s Italian and it’s the woman’s job to go grocery shopping… he just wants to be called when the meal’s done. That’s Joey… big, sexy, Italian stallion… me want eat, me want sex, me want sleep.
JoeyG telling everyone what he said in Corrado’s… what a wit!
Tree and Joe are going to a ‘turkey farm’ to get their fresh turkey. OK, this is definitely sidetracking here, but what the hell is up with Tree driving around with a rosary on her rearview mirror? So, neither her nor her sister-in-law, Melissa, know their Catholicism… Melissa doesn’t know her prayers and Tree doesn’t know that the only place for a rosary is in a person’s hands. Catholics know that you don’t wear a rosary around your neck and you don’t throw one around your rearview mirror. In both instances, it is very disrespectful to the sacred rosary. Honestly, are these two really Catholic?
Tree and Juicy are introduced to their selection of turkeys, but since they didn’t realize that they drove to a ‘turkey farm,’ followed directions on their GPS to the ‘turkey farm,’ went out of their way to get to this ‘turkey farm,’ they didn’t think that there would be real turkeys at the ‘turkey farm.’ They purchase a pre-wrapped turkey and got the hell out of there.
Caroline, Albie and Lauren drive to visit Lauren’s future husband, although they are yet to be engaged, Vito at his family’s deli in Monroe NY. Vito is Albie’s former college roommate at Fordham. Big Albie says it all when he says that Vito spent four years in college and knows how to slice a nice mortadella. Hey, Vito’s working and that’s more than anyone can say about most of the men on these Housewives shows. (Can you say Slimey?)
Ashley drops by Albie and Chris’ Hoboken apartment to complain about going to work. Albie basically tells her to shut up and be grateful for what she has at home. At Jackie and Chris Laurita’s house, Ashley has cleaned her room, cleaned the kitchen and taken their little Cavalier King Charles Spaniel for a walk. Ashley calls the CKCS a ‘spaz’ and that is offensive… there is no way that dog is a ‘spaz.’ A Cav and the word ‘spaz’ should never be used in the same sentence and Ashley may be reported to the CKCS Kennel Association… they have their own association… for this infraction. As predicted, Ashley is not doing work around the house just because it needs done… Ashley’s working on getting a car out of mom and dad. What a little biatch!
At the Gorgas: It’s Melissa, Joe and their kids; Melissa’s mother, sisters and their husbands; cousin Kathy Wakile, her husband and kids; and Kathy’s mother and sister. Oh, yeah… JoeyG has a big surprise for Melissa out front… a special Thanksgiving mechanical bull.
Again, JoeyG has sex on his mind when he’s the first to ride the bull. He yells to Melissa, “So dis is what it feels like to you?” Melissa is no better when it comes to stereotypes. CameraMelissa explains ‘Italian culture’: the women are generally in the kitchen cooking, we fuss around the men and the men just kinda sit around and they’re like ‘Where’s the food, bitch.’ Note to Melissa: No true Italian would ever disrespect his wife by ever saying that to her. Honestly, is Melissa really Italian?
The talk at the dinner table is that of JoeyG and his sister, Tree. What to do, what to do? One of the brothers-in-law suggests to JoeyG that Tree is his only sister and he should forgive and forget. It’s been decided that JoeyG is gonna have a sitdown with Tree.
At the Joodices’ it’s: Tree, Juicy and their kids; the Manzo’s; the Lauritas; and KimD from Posche Boutique(?) for Tree and Juicy’s ‘Friendsgiving’ dinner. Tree wants to show how grateful she is to everyone who stuck by her and Juicy during the stressful past year. Filing for bankruptcy and workin’ your butt off to try to dig out of $11 million is no small feat, but Tree is out there selling her cookbooks and Juicy’s makin’ the pizzas. However, their Bankruptcy hearing is set for July 14 and the Bankruptcy Judge has the final say on how things will unfold for the Joo-dices.
Tree gives a heartwarming, tearful speech after her guests arrive about how she’s from a small family and she doesn’t have a sister, but she considers Caroline to be her older (and Caroline adds ‘hotter’) sister who is always ready to give her advice when Tree calls on her. (Since when did Tree ever listen to Caroline’s advice? But at this ‘Friendsgiving,’ it’s all pretend anyway, so everyone will just have to go with Tree’s fantasy for now.) Well, Tree’s fantasy of Caroline being her ‘big sister’ lasted all of five minutes.
After dinner, Tree pulls out a card that Melissa gave her when Tree threw her big housewarming party. Melissa wrote on the card: “God bless you guys in your re-done home.”
Tree was livid because Melissa wrote “re-done” on the card. How dare Melissa say that Tree’s house was “re-done!?” Tree doesn’t forget when she’s been slighted and at Christmas, after Tree’s housewarming that year, Melissa brought Tree sprinkle cookies from the now-famous Corrado’s Italian Market and Tree threw them in the trash to get back at Melissa for writing “re-done” on the card.
Tree told Melissa that she hates sprinkle cookies and her favorite cookies from Corrado’s are their pignoli cookies. (Juicy mentions that he hates any cookies with peanuts in them.) Tree tells Caroline that the old Tree threw the cookies in the trash, but the new, improved Tree would have told Melissa why she was throwing her cookies in the trash. ’Cause, you know, like I don’t wanna start a war or nothin.’ What!? That was Caroline’s reaction, also. Tree does not understand that type of relationship, Tree’s more of an ‘eye-for-an-eye’ type.
On the next episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey… Melissa’s voice is finally heard! JoeyG hears someone singing ‘Amazing Grace’ and it turns out to be Melissa! OMG! They’ve been married for years and JoeyG is acting like this is the first time he’s heard the melodious mouth of Melissa. Can’t wait…
Caroline posted her blog very early…
CAROLINE MANZO’S BRAVO BLOG:
Hello again! So what did you think of Thanksgiving in June? I think the general perception among viewers is that things are happening in real time, not true! We actually filmed this in November, just thought I’d give a little insight into our filming process.
Let’s talk about Vito and his family. They are wonderful people who have welcomed Lauren into their family and embraced her as one of their own. As a mother I couldn’t ask for more. It means the world to me to know that Lauren is loved not only by Vito, but his entire family as well. Jackpot! I’m going to let you in on a little secret, you need to go visit the Scalia family deli, The Best of Little Italy, in Monroe, NY. You won’t be disappointed! If you’re not from the area, check it out on the web.
I was happy to see Ashley stepping it up at home. Power on, Ashley, power on! You have it in you, kid, just let it out.
“Friendsgiving” at Teresa’s was a way for us to support Teresa and Joe during a difficult time. I was happy to see the Gorgas having a conversation that suggested moving forward towards resolving the feud. I’ve said it many times, every family fights, we’re only human, but at the end of the day we need to forgive and move on.
That’s all for now, folks. As always, thank you for watching! See you next week!
NOTE: Sounds like Caroline was too pissed to even talk about the phony ‘Friendsgiving.’