The Real Housewives of New York‘s Sonja Morgan caused poor, lil Kelly ‘call me Avery’ to almost stroke out when Sonja flashed Kelly her va-jay-jay while posing for photos for her still-negotiating-with-numerous-publishers (which means none of them are biting…) toaster oven cookbook.
Yes, Sonja loves the double entendre…
So, besides the luxurious photos of Sonja swathed in gold lame spread eagle on her diningroom table and all bejeweled posing with toast in her kitchen, how will Sonja fill up her cookbook? As SH is so accommodating, here are two fabulous recipes that have made the final cut into Sonja’s sure-to-be-a-NYTimes-best-seller…
This recipe is sure to get people to pay $24.95 for Sonja’s toaster oven specialties…
How to make Cinnamon Sugar Rolls:
- Preheat oven 350 degrees
- Roll out crust on a floured silicone rolling mat, or parchment paper.
- Spread lightly salted whipped butter on your crust. Whipped is much easier than pats cut off the stick.
- You can use a butter knife or any of the below pictured frosting spreaders. I like the one with the bend because it allows you to spread evenly across the crust.
Sprinkle cinnamon until absorbed and then lightly the sugar.
- Cut 2 1/2 inch wide strips
- Then roll them into little logs 1 1/2 inch thick logs. See plated in picture above.
- Place in toaster oven on the middle rack and bake at 350 for approximately 10 minutes. You will know its time when you smell the cinnamon and their tops are golden brown. I even like them “burnt” in spots. So don’t worry about turning them around for toaster oven temperature imbalances.
Ah darn darn darn darn…threw out my toaster oven years ago because I never used it….Oh boo whoo woe is me….what shall I do?? I will be the only one in America not toasting!!!!! Damn where is countless when I need a hug???
I’m waiting for the Skinny Fabulous Crock Pot Cookbook. That’s the one Vicki will write. Busy moms on the go! And she used one the other night when she was treaing Donn like crap. No, not that night. No, not that night either.
ROFL! You crack me up! Thanks! Keep it coming! LOL!
LOL crockpot cookbook! love it! the WooHoo Crockpot Cookbook? or how about Insurance4UrCrockpot: a lifestyle book for the recent divorcee? Chapter 1: how to take out the trash-begin with the loser in your bed who mooches off u. Chapter 2: when ur love tank is empty, take out ur crockpot and make some stir-the -chit-with-chili. Chapter 3: when u have 3 flat tires, remember u have one around ur belly. These “winning” recipes will help u battle the bulg: lick it, suck it, salt it , or was it suck it, salt it lick it? i dont remember, who has time? i Work people, ok? my job is the most important job in the world, that is why i work 24 hours a day..it isnt easy being me. Tamara wishes she were me. Wretchend and Alexis wish they were as hot as I am. Peggy wants to lick my ass and im gonna let her cuz i am nice. and u know Fernanda really has a crush on me. And so does Eddy. And dont get me started on Slimey (whom I secretly have a crush on, and im also very hurt that he has not tried to bang me? why not slimey? im hot! u hit on every HW why not me? i even make it easy for u by driving by ur place EVERY day! i show u my cleavalage and flash u my vajayjay! why dont u like me? why? I am very HOT!! i got a banging body! i am beautiful dammit! why slimey? why? I AM THE riches HW of the Oc, because i WORK! I have $$$, lots of it! i could help u pay ur child support, all u have to do is fill my love tank while wearing ur gogggles! why dont u wanna taake a swim in my lady pond? unlike whiny wretchen and drunken Joe I am low maintenance and drama free! ur missing out slimey! u could go on roadtrips with me! i would take u to mexico with all the darkies at our beck and call! i am the sweetest HW! i know how to pleasure my man! I am a lady in the parlor, a cook in the kitchen, a whore at the office, and a psycho in the bedroom!) Woo Hooo I AM the BEST insurance agent..i am a psycho insurance agent! I have the awards to prove it!! woo hoo!!
thug: OMG… what a stream of consciousness you had goin’ there! LOL!!!
Has anyone noticed, that Sonja blames looking messy, on she always just came from the gym or Yoga or some excercise class of some kind? She leads you to believe she works out all the time. You think she milks a cow like she rides a horse? She’s just amazing! Is there anything she can’t do? Oh, she laid her own eggs too?
Uh and didn’t she have her stomach “vaccumed” at the spa cause she is too busy to work out yet she shows up to places all the time saying she has just come from the gym ….hmmmm….I bet her pantless/pantyless less is doing “work outs” but not the kind to keep you slim…I mean seriously who “forgets” their pants and panties all the time..or maybe she just can’t find them…or maybe she’s tired of taking them off so much she just goes without cause it’s easier….??????
Yea! But then she made the comment about how her plastic surgeon told her to exercise more and she “never got around to it!” I rememer another HW said that I think it was RHOOC….someone showed up to lunch coming straight from the gym,
they prob study themselves to become the coolest
Looks like Rachael Ray has some competition..oh whats that? the cookbook hasnt been written yet?! Sonja, stick to flashing us ur crusty vajay jay! she mustve stuck her vajajay jay in her toaster oven to get a faux tan? lol.. gotta love our resourceful Sonja!! ugh..just cuz u post a wannabe cooking show/talk show on youtube does not make u a cook! also what is up with touching her hair while she is cooking? how un-cleansy of her!
LOL! Yep…not written..no publisher yet a photo shoot of her slithering pantyless on her table …..oh yeah…screams CLASS! I bet Mario wishes he had thought of that…or Paula…darn darn darn..oh snap!
Note to self: Do Not Eat Off Sonja’s Table.
Click: OMG! I am laughing so hard! I now have an image of Sonja rolling around on her DR table while people are trying to eat dinner… taze me, quick!!!
who needs recipes? u know people r only gonna buy it to see the pics! i mean it is too complex to put into words how to cook like sonja! Julia Child has nothing on our SonjaTmorgan!! I mean, to put your initials onto a piece of toast! who woulda thunk it? not me! gotta hand it to her, she is creative! i wouldnt be surprised if she gets an offer to became a celebrity instructor at Le Cordon Bleu!! ouis ouis cherie! her theme song will be “chic c’est la vie” and the opening credits will show her laying on her table, naked, rolling around in flour!! with some pieces of asparagus and her broiled fish artfully arranged over her vajayjay!
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA! Ya’ll are killin’ me! Love it! HAHAHHAHAHAHAA!
New meaning now to “Naked Chef”
Kinda like Don Caroline with the purses? You think she had anything on under them bags? Maybe she had on Sonja’s panties. Don Caroline would never do anything that tasteless.
That’s it click! You have solved the missing Panties mystery! (Somewhere Don Caro is sighing “foiled again–those blasted kids!!!”)
thug: OMG! Now I’m laughing harder! Another image burned in ma brain… Sonja rollin’ around in flour. She probably actually did that just to see if that would turn on her photographer.
Was it me or did anyone else think they might need a tetanus shot if they had dinner made by Sonja?
I had to agree with Luann there about the state of the toaster-over. It just looked rusty to me.
When you think about it, it really is strange to never see her child on the show.
I wonder who really cooks for them?
Hi Housewife Hater, I don’t think the daddy wants her on the show. Sonja’s making a big enough ass of herself all alone. Spare that little girl the embarassment. Also, Some of us were wondering why you don’t take comments on your site.
Um…I wonder…is it possible to just use…oh…the OVEN most of us have in our stove or a built-in unit, for these complex “recipes”? Just wondering, because I actually prefer using mine.
I do appreciate that Sonja has devised a way to feed her child without much actual effort when her cook is off duty. (Oh, how I loved Sonja in her first season; but now that I’ve seen her sagging ass and watched Kelly’s eyeballs explode at the sight of Sonja’s “vaj…vagi…vagigigina” my love has cooled.) Still I can’t see how lazy culinary shortcuts merit a COOKBOOK. I’ve seen better skills in middle school cooking classes.
Now that I think of it, this might make a good children’s cookbook–minus the sleazy photos, of course.
BTW, what happened to Sonja’s garden design consultation business? I thought she said in the first season she designed gardens for the Vanderbuilts, the Rothchilds, the Astors, the Queen, and possibly at Versailles? Did I hallucinate that?
i worked in an after school program at a middle school and i came up with a cooking program and believe me those kids could cook! it was so much fun! i would choose recipes that they liked but did not dumb it down so that they actually learned to make real food. I would take them to the grocery store and help them pick out healthy and low cost ingredients. And we never used a toaster oven or cookbook: we used stove tops and oven. I was so proud of how well all their meals came out and would u believe the boys had as much fun cooking as the girls! It was one of the most popular programs and so much fun! Not even with pics would i use the toaster oven cookbook!! is she THAT busy that she cant wait for her oven to preheat? puhleez!! i doubt she will get a publisher willing to taint their name by being associated with that “cook”book but i could be wrong.. if Jillz could get a book deal, then there is hope!!
oops typo above: we did use cookbooks! how else would we get the recipes! duh! lol at myself!
I basically use my toaster oven for cheese toast, and frozen Tortino’s pizza rolls. I wonder if Tree has a recipe for them?
LOL !!! Tree would nevah take a short cut, nevah!! she makes all her food from scratch! Tree would think Sonja’s toaster oven is “so not good” and so “skeevy”!
When Bravo toured their houses, Tree’s freezer was full of frozen pre-packaged raviollis, canollis, all kinds of frozen stuff. And Don Caroline had veal in hers. Which she made a special point of telling us all, that it was Albie’s favorite. “Lauren who? Hell, I don’t know what she likes.”
LOL
i missed that tour of Tree’s freezer!!! ROFL!! tho the queen of excuses will insist she made them then froze them..as she gives the camera a wink! As for Lauren, yes i feel so bad for her..like how Caroline is crying cuz her baby boys r leaving her, yet asks Vito when he will pop the question..so is she trying to get rid of Lauren while she cant let go of her boyz?
Lauren has broken up with him, so rumor has it. Damn, Don Caroline can’t get rid of her.
@click click/my cat..say it isn’t so! Did DonCaroline scare him away? How uncomfortable did she make him with those questions about proposing..i died and im not even Lauren..tho I can relate..it is not easy being single!! They seemed happy together and were a cute couple! i wonder why they broke up.. and when?
I think MS.SH said it.
Really? when? im just curious!!
thug: Just look at the ‘categories’ and scroll down to ‘Giudice’ and the video is there… but I already did that for you, because I knew MS SH had that video. Here it is: http://stoopidhousewives.com/2011/05/03/the-real-housewives-of-new-jersey-season-3-welcome-to-teresas-crib-bravo-tv-official-site/
Notice that she introduces herself as “Joo-dice.”
omg what a goofball! lol! where do i begin, i feel like kaathy griffin, thank u baby jesus for this clip! and also thank u@bitter Kitten
wow how tacky is that house! i was like what is up with that gate in the kitchen!!! holy mother of randomness!! ROFL when she said she wanted to be a Victoria’s Secret model!!! wonder why that didn’t happen? and what about the Tree Bratz painting..looked nothing like her, as the forehead was too high!! Also loved the books that her daughters love to read, nice try Tree, u know they r yours!!! NO shame in trying to learn how to read! at least ur not illegitimate, um oops i meant to say illiterate!!! my bad!! but the tour was not complete!!! i was hoping to see her Obedet!!! 
Mmmm… I think I’ll make the kids some pizza rolls for snack.
Totally from scratch, of course! See- I’m scratching the box open. I’m scratching the plastic apart… totally from scratch!
LOL!!!
LOL! from scratch indeed! LOL!!
now, with all this talk of pizza, i am craving some.. lol
Hubby’s at the store now, getting Pizza rolls. I made myself hungry for them.
i think im gonna have to order me a pizza now..LOL.. plus i think that will b my new monday nite dinner!! not that watching grubby Juicy Barney Rubble Joo-da-chay make them was appealing..heck i dont need an excuse..i just love pizza!!
ROFL! I will have to remember that…”from scratch” hahahahha! Love it!
I use it with cookie dough too. I scratch open the end of the roll, I pinch them off the roll, and I bake them.
Therefore I can bake cookies from scratch in a pinch
Oh my gosh “from scratch in a pinch” okay I rolling here…..
what the heck was that video, a plug, a cooking show where the camera person not only buys the fish but talks like the camera wont pick it up”, or a trying to flirt with a guy that only likes guys? Clearly using her sexuality here didnt work
ROFL !!! and camera person was a big $pender too!! $7 fish! omg! cuz Sonja’s recipe calls for $3 fish!! sonja was going so fast giving me a headache..slow down!!! and why does she always have trouble working with her toaster oven? lol! does she even know how to use it?
thug: Poor Sonja…the word’s out now about her doing a toaster oven cookbook and she has the same toaster oven that she used when she went to FIT 30 years ago. Wonder how many toaster ovens she’ll be sent by Cuisinart or Mario Batali… does he cook with a toaster oven… or JCPenney’s or Sears. She’ll be drowning in toaster ovens!!
hopefully it comes with an instructional video, as the poor thing can barely open the toaster oven, and also struggles to get the pan& oven rack in place!!!
That’s ’cause it’s so old, dirty and raggedy.
but how can it be dirty when she has an elevator full of cleaning supplies dahling! and she has plenty of servants, i mean house guest, who are literally, literally, dying to service her!! her toaster oven, that is..oh wait..u mean, not that toaster oven, oh it was the other one? oh sonja was confused..it happens..must be all that shampoo she is drinking..
The asparagus and fish looked like a pretty tasteless meal to me. I do like the fact that cooking small portions in a toaster oven saves on electricity. I never cook with my hair down, though, because that seems a little dirty to me.
Sonja, to me. strikes me as having the traits of a narcissist.